Issues with Confession


#1

Hi all!

I find many times when I go to confession, there is one particular sin that keeps popping up. I understand that we have certain sins we all struggle with, but a lot of times, I feel like this sin tends to “overshadow” the rest of my life. When I go to confession, I’m often tempted to think that if it weren’t for this particular sin, I’d be really holy (which I know isn’t true). But for the life of me, I cannot remember anything else when it comes time to confess.

Does anyone have any practical advice/guidance here?

Thanks

-Jude


#2

At least you know about this certain sin and confess it.

In time i am sure you will beat this problem. Remember, God knows that we are only human so are very weak. Ask God for guidance. Pray for help.

Remember, God is with you and wants you to trust in him.

God Bless


#3

One thing I always do while I wait in line for the confessional is ask the Holy Spirit to help me to make a good confession. Remember, it’s the Holy Spirit who enhances our prayers to God according to St. Paul.
God bless you and guide you.


#4

When in doubt, just ask the priest about it. Tell the priest everything you’ve said here, and he will help you. You may be tempted not to, out of embarrassment, but have faith in God’s mercy, and know that nothing you say is anything the priest hasn’t heard before. Also, no matter how embarrassed you may be at whatever you have to say in Confession, know that the priest will not tell anybody else what you tell him. He is absolutely prohibited from doing so, so anything you say in the Confessional stays there. The Sacrament of Confession exists for the forgiveness of sins, not for our condemnation. Trust in God!


#5

Search online for an examination of conscience and use it to help you find your sins. Then write them down (along with your recurring sin) and confess them. When you write your sins down, make sure you write them on a hard surface that won’t hold an imprint of them. Burn the paper after confession.


#6

What is good to remember is that we have 100% control over our sins. We choose to sin. It is a disordered use of our free will, but our free will remains ours to misuse. Now, we can apply weasel words and rationalize all sorts of things, but no one has held a gun to our head and forced us to commit those sins which we confess. Oftentimes, we were the only one there!

I have found that repetitive sin has factors and circumstances, that in combination, can trigger the desire to sin. Yet, those same circumstances may not lead others to sin. Your weakness is yours alone, and the evil one employs it on a regular basis to lead you to sin. But, we cannot blame him, as we know that this is his job. It is our job, based on the model of Christ, to resist his temptations.

Analyze the conditions that exist before you decide to sin. You will note that several similar factors may exist that essentially lead you down a path. Once you have identified the conditions which set you up to sin, eliminate as many of those factors as you practically can. We see, from many man-made disasters, that numerous factors had to line up in order for a particular disaster to occur. The changing or elimination of even one of those factors could have prevented the tragedy.

And, so it is with sin. Sin begins with an idea. Sin is always pleasurable to the flesh, while it is destructive of the spirit. Frankly, an awful lot of sin is sexual sin. We are immersed in sexual images throughout each day of our lives. The advertisements in our email, TV, movies, music videos, newspaper ads - pop culture itself. Sexual exploitation is rampant and has become accepted.

Look at others as God would. Look them in the eye and not at their bodies. This includes images and photographs, most of which we should ignore. When we speak with someone, we interact with their eyes and words. This does not involve looking at other parts of their bodies. That is a trigger.
A gun will not shoot without a trigger. Remove the triggers of sin in your life. This may mean that you need to make some substantial changes in your life - possibly unpopular changes.

It is only your soul at stake.


#7

I like this advice, I sometimes write down my sins as well. Also, Its a good practise to examine your concience every night.


#8

As long as you are aware of your sins and are making honest efforts to confess them and correct them you are doing as well as anyone can. I had trouble with a particular sin and thought I would never see it not be a problem. One thing I did, with the help of my Confessor, is figure out what was at the root of the sin itself.

We all do things we shouldn’t, but why do we repeat the same offense over and over? Ask yourself what the sin is rooted in, such as pleasure, selfishness, fear of being disliked, not wanting to look stupid (pride), jealously and so on. Once I realized what was at the root of my sin I actually confessed to that root cause rather than my actual behavior.

So for example: if I was always loosing my temper I might try to figure out what was behind it. Say I figure out it is due to feeling insecure about my job and being able to support myself. This could be seen as a problem with pride if the reason for that fear is not trusting God. (Just a simple example here.) So many times our sinful actions are only the external expression of a deeper spiritual issue and problem. Once we recognize what that is we can confess to that. Anyway this helped me a great deal and I no longer am troubled by that sin.

Not to say I couldn’t fall. I must always be on guard.


#9

A lot of people go down the 10 commandments and think…well, I haven’t raped anybody, killed, stolen, lied…so I haven’t sinned.

In my pastoral group, we spent a day, or more, on EACH commandment. So, “Thou shalt not steal” …would mean also…no watching pirated materials, illegal photocopying. If you had a friend who you knew was stealing, if you didn’t do somthing to try to stop, or report, him, you would be guilty of this sin. If you have borrowed something and not brought it back, or not in a timely manner, that would also apply. I think taking credit for something we didn’t do would also apply.

“Honor thy father and mother” means not only to be good to your parents, take care of them in their old age, but to respect rules, and ALL authority, be it police officers, security guards, judges, etc. So, if you don’t stop for a stop sign, that’s violation of the 4th commandment. So, if we speed, same thing, I think. It’s a violation of one of them, to be sure.

In “Thou shalt not kill”, getting angry with our brother falls under that category, I think.
If we so much as put someone down, it’s like a form of killing, spiritually.

Here’s an examination of conscience that should give you an idea that sin is failing in the 7 cardinal virtues, the 10 commandments, and more. I find it difficult to go one DAY without sinning, because just getting angry, losing one’s patience, with someone is a sin!

If you so much as THINK if something, or especially about someone, inappropriately, that’s getting sinful. It can be impure thoughts. If you don’t dismiss it immediately, it becomes “impure desire”.

I heard that Pope John Paul II went to confession, daily!

usccb.org/prayer-and-worship/sacraments/penance/examinations-of-conscience.cfm

As to chronic sin, I agree with the previous post which said to look VERY specifically at the sin. Now, you didn’t say which one it was. So, I’ll just pick one out of the blue just as an example.

I’ll pick sexual sin. Okay, if one knows he has this problem, he would need to be even more careful in mixed company, look at the situations surrounding this sin and try harder to avoid it.

So, if he, say, travels a lot and is put into temptation, constantly. Maybe he could have where he meets clients during the day only at public places. He could call his wife daily, or e-mail frequently. Surely, there is even more he could do.

If it’s a woman with sexual sin, modesty is the first line of defense. Some say 80% of communication is nonverbal, gestures, etc., including clothing. If I had trouble with this, I would be crossing my knees at the ankles, etc.

Further, we need to avoid whomever, or whatever places, etc., which cause us to sin.

In AA, people struggling with alcohol have to change their people, places and things. They need to often even get new friends, because a lot, if not all, of their friends will also be alcoholics!

St. John Bosco told us that his guide, to hell, explained that 3 things get us into hell…bad books, bad habits, and bad friends. So yeah, anybody would be good to look at where we fall and prevent sin. Praying when we are IN the moment of temptation is always a good one.


#10

I went to confession on Monday afternoon, today is Thursday evening and I am already guilty of detraction, being argumentive with my wife, staring specifically at a womans body part atleast 3 times, and giving a proud look, not to mention any imperfections or sins I am ignorant of.


#11

It is very hard indeed not look at a gorgeous woman! We are only human and I find it very hard indeed! I do try not to. Temptation to look is awful. :blush:


closed #12

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