It is about the sacrament of confession, or called the sacrament of reconciliation


#1

In the practice, is it easy to respect the anonymous of penitential sinner, in his own parish? Not to be recognized by the priests of his parish? The confession room is so dark…? What types of confessionnals?

In general, the penance is normal, not too much?? She is feasible, accurate and determined, a specific act, limited in time and espacce??? Sometimes, do you negotiate the penance that was given by the priest, because you are not okay. One day, a friend told me that it was okay to say i am not okay and to negociate or to go to visit another priest??? Right, wrong?


#2

Generally, this is not a good idea. You are speaking to the priest and to Christ, who is present through the priest, in-persona-Christi.

I have heard the priest ask, after delivering the penance, “is this OK.” I replied immediately with a “yes.”

These penances are trivial anyway. An example is recite three Hail Marys.


#3

This is a little hard to read, so I’m not sure I understand everything you are asking for. However, I’ve never heard of a penance being “negotiated” but if there is a real reason why you cannot complete a penance, I think it would be best to tell that to your confessor at the time and not go out to another priest an try to get a different penance.

For example, if a priest said for penance you were to “go and do a good deed for a friend or family member today” but its already the evening and you don’t have any friends or family nearby…I think its ok to tell the priest that and I’m sure they’ll work with you. Just for example. :slight_smile:


#4

I would say that negotiation is wrong. If you go to a priest for a confession and he provided you with penance, that penance should be done. After all you did go to him for penance, so why argue with what he tells you?

That's like going to a fish market and saying "I didn't come here to buy fish". Anyway that's just my opinion, It could be wrong, but I personally will never argue about penance.

Also my current parish doesnt have a confessional. I have seen cases where confessionals are dark, where others are small etc, etc. My opinion > a confessional is a confessional.

If the confessional or the priest at that church makes you uncomfortable, then feel free to go to another parish, no one can prevent you from doing that.


#5

I have had a priest ask me if I accept a certain penance. He knew that it would be very difficult for me and he did not wish to set me up for failure. Realistically, though, I wasn’t going to say no, because it would bring doubt upon my resolve to not commit a certain sin again. I have been told that it is acceptable to ask for another penance if something will be too burdensome to complete. An example might be for somebody to go to daily Mass when the work or childcare schedule truly will not allow it. I would imagine that most priests who give these types of penances do so carefully and with knowledge of the person’s circumstances, so this would be rare.


#6

I always confess face to face so this question does not arise for me.

As regards penance, you must tell the priest if the penance he gave you is impossible for you to do. An example would be fasting if you have diabetes; or going to weekday mass if it is not offered outside your working hours (very common here in England :frowning: ) In these cases you must tell the priest even if he does not ask if it is ok. But these things only happen anyway if you don’t have a regular confessor, who would know you anyway and would know what is the appropriate penance for you.


#7

In France, in my city, generally, I go to two catholic parishes in order to get sacrament of confession. A chapel has some dark confession rooms, and the other a church has some dark confession rooms that are not used , the confession takes place in face to face in full light.

I prefer when the priest cannot recognized you. Sometimes, few priests refuses to go to the dark confession rooms; it is sad. May be, in the canon law, the catholic has the right to be confessed by priest, in a dark confession room. I am not sure?


#8

Some penances might be literally impossible. Say you were asked to do something nice for your parents and your parents are passed on or something. Certainly that would be one situation where you would ask for a different penance.


#9

I never thought of it that way. You do have a point, but unless it was totally impossible, I wouldn't argue for a change.

[quote="LilyM, post:8, topic:301134"]
Some penances might be literally impossible. Say you were asked to do something nice for your parents and your parents are passed on or something. Certainly that would be one situation where you would ask for a different penance.

[/quote]


#10

I have received penances where I was like "...what??! :eek:" but nothing truly impossible, so I've never had occasion to ask for something else.

[quote="fpt, post:7, topic:301134"]
I prefer when the priest cannot recognized you. Sometimes, few priests refuses to go to the dark confession rooms; it is sad. May be, in the canon law, the catholic has the right to be confessed by priest, in a dark confession room. I am not sure?

[/quote]

I confess face-to-face so this is not an issue for me, however in places where I have confessed that have a screened confessional available, I have never known anyone to be refused confession behind a screen.

If anonymity were an issue for me and there are dark confession rooms available where I confess but the priest refuses to use them, I'd go somewhere else, or at least to a different priest who is open to using those rooms.

I cannot cite the specific code of canon law, but I have read in other threads on this board that a priest cannot force face-to-face confession (and a penitent cannot force a priest to hear a confession face-to-face). I hope I understood those posts correctly. Canon law is not my strong suit. Anyway, as far as I can tell this refers only to anonymity accorded by a screen, however, not to any sort of "right" to a dark room.

I would be curious to know where in France you are experiencing this, as I have confessed in a few places in France but have not seen anything like what you describe. Feel free to PM me if you would like. I live in France, and though I am not French je parle français (plus ou moins :blush:). :)


#11

For example, there are churches with dark confession rooms with screen, thus the priest cannot see your face and you cannot see his face. And in other churchs, the room of confession is in an office with desk, thus you are face to face in the full light. I prefer dark confession room with screen.

Sometimes, priests are not very motivated for using the dark confession room with screen, if they are in the church.

The dark rooms of confession can be seen as an old fashion system, by few priests, a minority, of course. Otherwise no problem , it is easy to find the confssion room like in the past.


#12

Okay, I think where I'm getting stuck is with the word "dark." I have seen many confessionals with screens, but they aren't necessarily dark rooms. Are you saying that what you want is a screened confessional? Darkness would be a bonus at that point, not a necessity. You should be perfectly anonymous with the screen.


#13

Okay, when I talk about a room of confession with screen and dark, I want to say a room for confession, like in the past, where the anonymity could be preserved.

A confession without seeing the face of priest, or seeing his face a little, in the soft darkness.

Normaly, he seems to me that the sinner has the moral right to keep his anonymity during confession. It is a rule of prudence for the sinner and for the confessor.


#14

[quote="mcw013, post:9, topic:301134"]
I never thought of it that way. You do have a point, but unless it was totally impossible, I wouldn't argue for a change.

[/quote]

It's completely lawful for a penitent to request a different penance for a good reason. Further, the Church even allows for another confessor to commute the penance a penitent received from one confessor to another suitable penance. I've had this before. I was away from my regular confessor and in a really bad mental state after going through a rather unpleasant experience, and a lot of other things that don't need mentioning. I wasn't given a concrete penance (Say one Our Father extra slow and spend the day discerning what you plan on doing with your life now), and wasn't really able to complete it because I was in no condition to discern what I what I was going to do with my life, let alone to do so for the day. All I wanted to do at that point was hideaway in a contemplative convent for the rest of my life away from the world, and no, it wasn't a sign of a possible vocation. I was burnt out. I informed my confessor about the penance and not being able to complete it, and he just gave me an additional penance on top of the penance for that confession.


#15

[quote="UpUpAndAway, post:12, topic:301134"]
Okay, I think where I'm getting stuck is with the word "dark." I have seen many confessionals with screens, but they aren't necessarily dark rooms. Are you saying that what you want is a screened confessional? Darkness would be a bonus at that point, not a necessity. You should be perfectly anonymous with the screen.

[/quote]

My parish has two confessionals. There's one my confessor uses and one the other priests use, mainly those who say the OF Mass. The one my confessor use is anonymous, but isn't dark at all. This is very good because I have to write down everything I confess otherwise my mind goes completely blank. Oddly enough, the other confessional mainly used by non-traditional priests, though the other FSSP priests use it sometimes, is completely dark except for a small light along the floor. Not very good for those who must read off a list and didn't plan in advance by writing it out in glow-in-the-dark ink.


#16

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