I lost 3 children before I found out I have a hereditary genetic disease called Chromosome Translocation. I found this out about a month ago and basically there is a one in eight chance (that is a general number – I haven’t heard back yet about exactly what our odds are in this case) that I would have a completely genetically healthy child. More than likely I would keep miscarrying or having stillbirths like I have had so far over and over and over. It’s a situation where I’d be more likely to be stuck by lightening than to ever birth to a living, healthy child.
I’ve spoken with different people in the church. I signed up for NFP classes and am doing the Creighton Model right now. My husband and I have had discussions about how we want children. We are in a low income family so adoption fees aren’t feasible and I know there is help for parents looking to adopt especially in November. We are looking into that.
I know I can’t use Pre-implantation Genetic Diagnosis because it’s a form of IVF and isn’t natural even though the eggs destroyed would be children that would die probably with-in weeks or months anyway. I realize I have no right to decide when someone dies and that is why I’ve carried all my children as long as I could even though I knew there were problems.
As a Catholic being sterilized is also out of the question. This one I sometimes have a more difficult time with because the reason I was given on why NOT to be sterilized is because as a married Catholic I’m supposed to be open to procreation. In my situation that doesn’t apply because we fall under one of the few reasons given to use NFP to not achieve a pregnancy. When I asked about that I was told that sterilization is also not natural so it should not be used which was the same reason given for the PGD IVF. I know all this and am willing to deal with it and accept it even if I don’t like it. Now saying I don’t like it doesn’t mean I don’t disagree.
My question is this. Since we know that any pregnancy we achieve is astronomically prone to end in child loss again is it wrong to want to try for that chance? I can’t get a straight answer. I keep hearing to use NFP but no one will flat out say the one of two answers I want to know. From a Catholic standpoint would a person like me getting pregnant be murder because we know the child would die probably before we could ever even have them baptized? Or because it’s a natural pregnancy achieved between husband and wife is it sanctioned by the church maybe as God’s will? I just want to know if it’s murder or not?