You can not go to Confession at all, because of this issue. But you can talk to the priest outside the Confessional.
Yes, I am sorry I got it and have it. I am not ready to remove it. If he won’t abstain then there is no 100%. And, yes, I am fully open to life should the IUD/condoms not prevent.
It depends on why you are “not ready to remove it.” Are you not in a position to do so (money, for example), or are you not prepared to make a change?
I will go to mass.
That is good
My question still remains, then, that I will not be able to receive the host even once for years, if this is the case (as long as I have an IUD), to avoid receiving while in mortal sin. What kind of sin is that, then, to not receive at Easter? But it seems I cannot if I have the IUD. ???
Right, you cannot gomto Confession and you can’t receive Communion. The rule is to encourage people to think about and change their lives during Lent.
In the future, if I don’t have an IUD but he uses condoms, it feels a little wrong to place the all the sin on him. We BOTH feel our family is complete and want to avoid pregnancy. But I want to abstain (I am not comfortable with NFP alone since it’s not 100%). He will not abstain. So I can go to confession (to at least tell a priest the situation), and I’m in the clear?
Yes, you can talk to a priest, as mentioned above, but no one can say that you are “in the clear” as long as you are committing what is known to be a mortal sin.
WRT your husband, while you both have the same goal, to avoid pregnancy, he wants to use a sinful means of avoiding, and you want to use a means which does not involve doing something sinful. *If you do not agree with his using a condom *and he knows that and does it anyway, then you bear no responsibility.
April of NEXT year this particular IUD comes out, for sure. It has to. How patient is the church with this and sin?
The Church is always happy to see people return to Christ. The problem with your situation is that you could die in the meantime, hence the urgency. We can not say where you would end up, God will see into your heart and know that, but the Church teaches us that using abc is the sort of thing which causes us to be deprived of grace in our souls and end up down below.
What if I have an IUD for years? Am I still able to confess and then sin no more? There will be a point when an IUD would no longer even be needed. I know these are difficult questions but if I was not wrestling with this I would not be here, and I appreciate your help. If as a 60YO woman I confess for this whole thing would absolution even be possible? Though I suppose if I die before then, I go to hell??? Or am I not understanding that right? For SURE do I go to hell? Or can we possible know that? God knows what’s in one’s heart, right, and does that matter at all?
The problem is that you *know *you are doing wrong, and are continuing to do it.
It is not for SURE, absolutely and definitively, that you will go to Hell, but the Church teaches that what you are doing usually leads there. Nor does the Church teach that feeling bad about a mortal sin you are continuing to commit will necessarily reduce your guilt.
Wait…Do I have a purpose of ammendment? I think so, just not right now. I DO intend to be in line with church teaching at some point. Just as a woman saving to get it removed, though she’d do so sooner. So DO I go to confession even if I cannot get absolution?
No, don’t go to Confession until you are ready to say to God, I apologize, I did the wrong thing, and I won’t do it any more, *starting from now. *
The reasons are that, first, I suggested you could talk with your priest to *see *if either of those things (appointment or saving money up) would suffice as a firm intention to stop; second, your current intention is to continue until some point in the future, which is *not *a firm intention to stop.
You are changing your position, which is a good thing!
You’re welcome. May I suggest that if you are not currently praying the Rosary, that you start? And consider a little something to give up for Lent? Not something difficult, something which would cause you to take notice but not be disruptive.
And do not forget that prayer is very powerful! When I first returned to the Church (in which I had been baptized but not raised), I had what seemed like an insoluble and serious problem. The priest told me to pray, and I blurted out: but you don’t understand: I have to *do *something!
Twenty years later, and I now know that prayer is the most powerful thing we can do.
Pray for your fears to be dissolved; pray that your husband’s heart be softened.
You are starting a winderful voyage down a road which can look scarily mysterious, and you will need to learn to trust God.