I've hit my Auntie and GrandMa


#1

like the title says, I’ve hit my Auntie and Grandma, I’m not proud of it, and I’m thoroughly sorry for what I’ve done, I’m still trying to forgive myself about it, I think I shouldn’t go to confession until I have truly forgiven myself, because, even though it just happened once, I still have done it, I’ve hit them, I can’t take back what I did, and those memories will be forever in their hearts and mind, to the point that I will lose face with it, I’m really sorry about it, I’ve said sorry to them already, cried about it A LOT too.

(my auntie and Grandma have this horrible habit of getting to your face even if you’re sick, and can’t even speak a sentence due to my mouth sores that’s been going on for 3 months now, and they still scold me about it, that I don’t take care of myself and everything, that I don’t drink enough water, I can’t even open my mouth due to the pain, I can’t eat or drink well, I’m getting weaker by the day and they still scold me with super high voices, it’s not hell, but it’s really close, because this “SColding” has been going on everyday since I came back from school, it’ been a week now, and they still are scolding me, and then last night, it happened, I’ve hit them, I’m deeply sorry about it.)

I just can’t help but wonder about this one thing: "is it still okay to be close with other people, especially girls? I’ve done a horrible thing last night, and I just simply can’t take it back, what if this “hitting” happens again?, how do I recover from this, I’m intended to have a wife one day, what if this “hitting” were to happen again?, I mean it happened just once, but it still happened, it is possible that God would feel bad about creating me right, it’s written somewhere in the old Testament, when He said something like: “Why did I create humans”, something like that, I’ve failed Him so much already, I’m still trying to forgive myself about my past sins, and here I am, creating a new sin to burden myself with more, I don’t EVER WANT to do this “hitting” again, against anyone, but it still happened, How can the Lord even think about forgiving me about this, this mouth sores are killing me physically, this “hitting-thing” is killing me spiritually, emotionally. this anger is destroying my family, for the very first time, I just don’t have a clue on what to do next. Please help… please…

GOD LOVES YOU>


#2

You’ve clearly repented. The Catholic advice would be to go to confession, and forgive yourself because God forgives you in the confessional.

I wouldn’t worry too much about it to be honest. Yes, modern society has certain standards about violence, in particular about men hitting women. However, if you’re sick and people get right in your face, and you feel frustrated, it’s normal to have that kind of a reaction.

Have you ever watched how animals react if you get in their “face”?


#3

You have repented of your sin. If you have not gone to confession for it, that should be a good place to go. Not just to get forgiveness, but to HEAR someone tell you that you’ve been forgiven. It heals the soul.

What these women did was wrong, but as you know, hitting them is also just as wrong. You are right to be worried about this action coming out when you are married. There will be times that a wife may get in your face, but you can’t hit. I would suggest seeing a counselor to help you find better ways to vent the frustration. And no, I am not saying this to judge. I am right in the mess too, seeking better ways to deal with emotion. I myself am prone to panic attacks and surges of emotion that spill out in inapproriate ways. I myself am seeing a counselor. Remember: seeing a counselor doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you. It means that you are one of the people who recognize you have a problem with something and want to change. It’s something to be commended! :slight_smile:


#4

Rule #1 of being a guy: You don’t hit girls

Rule #2: You don’t hurt kids

Rule #3: You don’t hurt old people

Rule #4: IF you break any of the above rules, you have something wrong and you need to see the people needed to get it fixed ASAP


#5

[quote="johto760, post:1, topic:192979"]
like the title says, I've hit my Auntie and Grandma, I'm not proud of it, and I'm thoroughly sorry for what I've done, I'm still trying to forgive myself about it, I think I shouldn't go to confession until I have truly forgiven myself, because, even though it just happened once, I still have done it, I've hit them, I can't take back what I did, and those memories will be forever in their hearts and mind, to the point that I will lose face with it, I'm really sorry about it, I've said sorry to them already, cried about it A LOT too.

(my auntie and Grandma have this horrible habit of getting to your face even if you're sick, and can't even speak a sentence due to my mouth sores that's been going on for 3 months now, and they still scold me about it, that I don't take care of myself and everything, that I don't drink enough water, I can't even open my mouth due to the pain, I can't eat or drink well, I'm getting weaker by the day and they still scold me with super high voices, it's not hell, but it's really close, because this "SColding" has been going on everyday since I came back from school, it' been a week now, and they still are scolding me, and then last night, it happened, I've hit them, I'm deeply sorry about it.)

I just can't help but wonder about this one thing: "is it still okay to be close with other people, especially girls? I've done a horrible thing last night, and I just simply can't take it back, what if this "hitting" happens again?, how do I recover from this, I'm intended to have a wife one day, what if this "hitting" were to happen again?, I mean it happened just once, but it still happened, it is possible that God would feel bad about creating me right, it's written somewhere in the old Testament, when He said something like: "Why did I create humans", something like that, I've failed Him so much already, I'm still trying to forgive myself about my past sins, and here I am, creating a new sin to burden myself with more, I don't EVER WANT to do this "hitting" again, against anyone, but it still happened, How can the Lord even think about forgiving me about this, this mouth sores are killing me physically, this "hitting-thing" is killing me spiritually, emotionally. this anger is destroying my family, for the very first time, I just don't have a clue on what to do next. Please help... please.. GOD LOVES YOU>

[/quote]

It is normal to feel frustrated and angry when harassed, it is not normal to go around hitting people.

If it were me, I would be taking this to a priest to discuss. It sounds as though there is a lot more going on. In the confessional a priest does not often have the luxury of discussing someone's situation in any length. While confession will absolve of sins, either the hitting or things that have been done in the past, there are still current issues to address (e.g. how to better the situation so that things do not progress to the level of anger you are dealing with). This is particularly true since when expressing residual feelings of having done other things in the past.

Why the sores? I hope that you are getting medical help for them, they sound miserable. I hope this passes and you feel better soon.

I do not understand the question about whether it is "still okay to be close with other people, especially girls?". This sounds like something altogether different and I'm not certain what you are asking here.

I pray that you can find a good confessor and, perhaps, counselor who can help work through some of these emotions. There is so much help available and there are people who care. Bottom line is this, if you make a true confession there should be no residual guilt about acts done previously. Perhaps there is some type of amends you could make in order to put something behind you, that is your personal choice, but forgiveness in confession is absolute.

In the meantime I will pray for comfort, healing and enlightenment for you and for your family. May you find peace.


#6

This^^

#5…Mouth sores?..Herpes?..DOCTOR!

How could you have the nerve to hit an old woman regardless of how strict she is?

And if the “hitting” happens again your little butt needs to go to jail.


#7

First off, move out of their house. If you can not deal with their rules and lifestyle any other way than to hit get out. You do not belong there.

Second, Get to the doctors. The medical doctor and the shrink. You have a virus and anger management issues. In the between time while you are waiting for your appointments, go to the drug store and get some oral anesthetic.

Third, Do not date anyone until you have your issues under control.

Fourth. If you do not have a job, go get one so you can have a place of your own and buy flowers for your grandmother and aunt. The flowers will in no way totally make up for what you have done. You will have to earn that trust back over the course of the rest of your life.

Fifth. Get to a priest. You have quite a bit to talk about with him.

Good luck and God bless.


#8

read the words you wrote at the end
it is for God to forgive first, and for you to confess to him first, and express your contrition to him first. If we waited for ourselves confession would never happen. You will be unable to forgive yourself until you are first healed by Jesus Christ in his beautiful sacrament of mercy. You will be unable to show mercy and forbearance toward your auntie and mother until you first receive it from Christ in his sacraments.


#9

Go to confession and then speak to a priest in counsel. Reading between the lines there seeem to be some deeper issues. How old are you?


#10

I got timed out but getting to a doctor is just as important you cannot neglect such a symptom, nor should you resent people trying to help you. I agree it sounds like there is a lot more going on with you and your family, and you need professional help for every aspect, physical, spiritual and psychological if there is bad dynamic going on.


#11

I see that too, but was afraid to be flamed.

If this was a young lady, I doubt that the posters would of reacted so strongly. Infact, I’ll bet they’d of reached out and offered her hotlines or other help like shelters or hospitals.

If the OP is speaking the truth he is VERY ill. If the OP is between 13-18 then it sounds as the Aunt and Grandma are verbally abusing him and control many aspects of his life. I didn’t see any mention of parents. If the OP is as ill as he makes himself out to be and not receiving proper treatment, which, if he’s 18 or under and lives with them they are legally responsible for I can see where he might physically react to their verbal taunts.

If the op is 19+ then he needs to figure out how to care for himself and get out of a situation where he’s a victim and lashing out inappropriately.


#12

[quote="purplesunshine, post:11, topic:192979"]
I see that too, but was afraid to be flamed.

If this was a young lady, I doubt that the posters would of reacted so strongly. Infact, I'll bet they'd of reached out and offered her hotlines or other help like shelters or hospitals.

If the OP is speaking the truth he is VERY ill. If the OP is between 13-18 then it sounds as the Aunt and Grandma are verbally abusing him and control many aspects of his life. I didn't see any mention of parents. If the OP is as ill as he makes himself out to be and not receiving proper treatment, which, if he's 18 or under and lives with them they are legally responsible for I can see where he might physically react to their verbal taunts.

If the op is 19+ then he needs to figure out how to care for himself and get out of a situation where he's a victim and lashing out inappropriately.

[/quote]

He is 19+...........You think he is a victim?:eek:

And you're durn straight I reacted strongly!.........NO MAN has a right to hit ANY WOMAN

especially an old lady who he calls grandma.

Despicable.


#13

Like your title says, God does love you. Perfectly, just as you are. Your are loved by your fellow Christians as well (well, not so perfectly :wink: ). There are those of us who are praying for you today; for guidance, for peace, for healing. I pray that you can open your heart to what God wills for you and be willing to take whatever steps God desires for you, for in this way you will find happiness and be at rest.

I pray, too, that you find a priest who can be good counsel for you. No one has to handle such turmoil alone and there are many willing to be supportive if only you reach out. You are so young! Life does get easier to manage, if we are willing to let others be there for us and willing to open ourselves up to the Holy Spirit and to God’s will.

Hope today finds you feeling better. May you feel the warmth of God’s love today and always.


#14

‘Hitting women’ is quite an emotionally charged argument to talk about. Don’t let it get to you.

Yours was an immature response. It shows you need to mature some (and who does not?).
As there are things that you can’t just let go, you need to learn how to deal with them in a socially acceptable manner. To know when and how to put your foot down, in a more agreeable way.
It’s learned behaviour - so learn it!
Talk to someone - a priest, a counselor, a trusted parent figure - and rise above the violence.

Now I might be off on my understanding of the situation, but I would beware those relatives, until they repent as well. Harrassing is a form of violence too.
And no human being has any right of being violent toward an other one - regardless of age and sex.


#15

On another thread we had an OP who was being neglected by her family. Everyone wanted to come to her rescue even after she lied and manipulated the whole board.

The man in question is very ill and under their care. He regrets what he did but still feels as if he is in hell. He’s in a bad situation and needs to get out. Should he of hit the women? Definatly not. Was he provoked? Certinally. But there is only so much abuse that someone, man or woman can take. Especially one who is ill and being mistreated.

The OP also didn’t define “hit” he could of shoved them away or reacted in such a similar way.


#16

We are not animals.

It is never normal to hit a woman in anger.

The OP needs Confession and then counseling.


#17

The OP indicates that he is gravely ill (cannot eat or drink comfortably) and is being belittled to the point he feels as if he’s in hell. There’s nothing normal about that.

Hitting IS wrong, hitting in anger is worse, but provoking and verbally tourting someone to the point that they feel that they are in hell is also inexcusable.


#18

[quote="purplesunshine, post:17, topic:192979"]
The OP indicates that he is gravely ill (cannot eat or drink comfortably) and is being belittled to the point he feels as if he's in hell. There's nothing normal about that.

Hitting IS wrong, hitting in anger is worse, but provoking and verbally tourting someone to the point that they feel that they are in hell is also inexcusable.

[/quote]

The OP feels in Hell because of a few dynamics going on - we all must have self control. You cannot go and hit someone because you lost control.

I am shocked at the number of posts that minimize hitting an elderly person or smacking Auntie.

Getting in someone's face does not deserve a pop in the face. Besides there are various interpretations of "getting in your face". It's a common expression used both literally and figuratively. We really do not know what that means here and it actually does not matter.

To my teen son, I am in his face all the time.....as I stand across the room.

There are a few red flags here - the violence, self loathing, the SORES on the mouth for several months. Not being able too eat.....get thee to a few Docs.


#19

As someone who lives in constant severe pain, being ill is no excuse to act in a violent way.

Mouth sores are ususally herpes or canker sores, both easily treated. The OP needs to man up, go to the doctor, get meds and stop acting like a criminal.


#20

And you’re interperting his “hit” as giving them a black eye!

Your teenage son sounds like a bit of a drama queen. All we can do is take the poster at face value…that he is being maltreated by two people who are supposed to care for him.

And, yes, he needs to seek outside help.

And mouth sores can indicate more than just herpes. They could be the result of some other disease that the OP is battling…and it sounds like he is aware that this is a problem and has tried to fix it for no avail…(what medical resources he has are still in question)

Yes. Anger is bad, yes, hitting is bad. Yes, he needs councelling But I’m just saying that abuse is abuse weither it comes from a man towards a woman or a grandma towards her grandson. Males can be abused by females, too.


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