Jealousy and Envy is killing me

I’ll need to cut a long story short but basically I am in love with a woman whose job is dealing with other people.

First off I just thought I “fancied” her but now it feels like more than that.

To begin with, I know this is completely wrong as not only is she married, but she is a professional. So we could never be together under ANY circumstances.

I don’t “want” to like her in that way, but my mind is clouded with jealousy and envy when I see her with other people.

Can anyone advise on how to calm these horrible feelings that are ruining my life?

Stay away from her and don’t think of her. She’s not available and that should be the end of it.

Additionally, consider (and perhaps discuss with someone else) why you would feel jealous of somebody spending time with other people. That’s not a good sign, especially if you feel that way about the next available woman you meet. Is it that you didn’t get enough attention from parents or other family or friends when you were younger? You’re not going to be able to keep any person “all to yourself”.


Really consider what it is to love her. To love her is to want what is best for her. What is best for her is happiness in her marriage and to be surrounded by good friends. To not desire that for her is not love.




If you don’t feed a crush, it will usually just run its natural course and fade away.

Avoid situations where you’re around her.

Don’t “push away” your thoughts and feelings about her (because this will focus your thoughts on her and reinforce them), but don’t “follow” them, either.

And keep your own life too full and busy to spend time thinking about a lady who’s unavailable.


You’ve been given some great and constructive help by posters here OP .Its very good you’ve sought out some help.
I’ll pray too,and perhaps you could mention it to your priest .God bless.


What you are feeling isn’t love, only attraction.
Temptation, where a person entertaining any wish sin against someone’s marriage,.is not love.
One of the Ten Commandments of God is not to covert another person’s spouse.

May the Lord guide and bless you


thanks everyone, once again there are some very helpful posts.

To reiterate, I know it is wrong because she’s married and in response to the first reply, I have been diagnosed with a Personality disorder - whether or not you believe in the diagnosis is a different matter but these feelings of “needing to be loved” are part of it.

Going to take everyone’s advice and pray for forgiveness.

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