Well, she needs to care… that’s what a relationship is all about!
I am praying for both of you.
It seems you are both abusing each other… it’s unintentional… but hurtful.
She disregards your feelings, which is a form of verbal abuse. And you yell at her, which is a different form of verbal abuse. Both are unhealthy, and either will destroy a relationship even though there is love there.
You need to learn how to walk away when you start feeling angry… go for a walk, and cool down.
Maybe spend some time praying in front of the blessed sacrament. Or saying a favorite prayer.
It’s healthy to set limits. It’s perfectly ok to tell her that you don’t want her to tell you anything about her past unless you ask. Be firm about it, and if she starts in again tell her to “stop it”. If she truly loves you, she should be able to change her behavior.
Then once in a while when you are feeling particularly calm, you might ask her to pick one thing to tell you… set a time limit if you have to… the goal is for you to stay calm, and know that the past is over and done with and she is with you now. Then it’s your turn, and you tell her something. If she truly doesn’t want to hear about your x’s, she’ll stop talking about hers… either way, without the yelling, you two will grow closer.
The man is the head of the household, just like Jesus is the head of the church. When a man sets a limit that is fair, even though the woman may grumble about it on the surface, she gains a great deal of respect for him. If it’s not fair, then she sees him as being … ridiculous… I can tell already that you’re the type of man who will set a fair limit.
May God heal the past for both of you, and help you to build a strong, healthy, loving friendship.