My ex, the father of my children, broke our marriage because he wanted an open one, and was in fact involved (which came as a shock when I found out) with a couple that lived across the country from us. He was away on “business” when he met this couple.
Our marriage ended because I would not consent to an open marriage. This was in late August 2006.
Lots of horrible things happened afterward for a couple of years, including a visit to my home from the husband of the other woman, shortly before he committed suicide. Fortunately, we were not home when he came. He did phone me about that time and mentioned his wife suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder. My ex has narcissistic traits, according to the church-appointed psychiatrist who evaluated my petition for nullity (which I received last December).
Fast forward another two years to last night. My sons, who were visiting their dad (because it doesn’t matter what has happened in No-Fault Divorce Land; all kids get to see their parents, no matter how badly they behave), met this woman at his place last night. The ex told my boys that this woman and her son were staying with him until her condo became available. He lied to them and said the condo owner had asked him to let her stay with him because they had nowhere else to go.
When I heard the name of the son, I knew it was her. I told my kids that I didn’t believe their dad’s story, and that this woman was probably his girl friend. My kids do not know what happened between their father and I, and don’t know the history with this woman.
Anyway, they flew to his defense and my eldest son got angry when | said this. I haven’t said anything since and don’t know what to do about this. I really don’t want her around my kids at all, and think the ex is a huge bone head for bringing her here now, just as the school year is about to start.
Do I stay mum or do I gently tell them that this woman is partially responsible for the end of our marriage, because she sent an taunting and gloating email to me a few years ago? Should I maybe sit down with a counselor with them first and break it to them that their dad was caught in adultery with her, without telling any more details?
I’m stunned that she is here, in our city, living in our neighbourhood. She is bad news all around, due to her unstable personality. She has power over my ex, due to all the digital porn photos she has taken of them both.