Jokes by Jesus


#1

God, in His infinite wisdom, gave us a sense of humor as one tool to deal with the stresses in our lives. Jesus was perfectly human. What kind of jokes do you think Jesus shared with His friends? I believe God has a great sense of humor, so it follows that Jesus does, too.


#2

At age 12… He looks up to see Mary and Joseph looking for Him and responds… But I thought you said I was old enough for a sleep-over.


#3

I’m thinking He’s sitting with the twelve and says, “OK, a priest, a minister and a rabbi are golfing,” and then, looking at their blank stares, says, “Try this one. A duck walks in a bar . . .” Sometimes (almost all the time for me) laughing makes me appreciate all God’s done for me.


#4

So He asks the apostles “who was the first man to walk on water?” Peter replies “Why You were, Master”

Jesus says, “bzzzt, wrong answer… it was you Peter, while you trusted in Me. Yes, I was first… but I am God”


#5

And of course we all know the one about “You who are without sin…cast the first stone.”


#6

[quote=MrS]At age 12… He looks up to see Mary and Joseph looking for Him and responds… But I thought you said I was old enough for a sleep-over.
[/quote]

I can also see St. Joseph, telling the 12 year old Jesus “Young Man if you ever put Your Mother and I through this again, I will give you something to think about.”:wink:


#7

[quote=kaymart]I can also see St. Joseph, telling the 12 year old Jesus “Young Man if you ever put Your Mother and I through this again, I will give you something to think about.”:wink:
[/quote]

How about… “I am taking you to the woodshed… and you will make 2 chairs before you can play with your friends”


#8

“So there was a caravan accident between the area Pilot controls and the area Herod controls, where do you bury the survivors?”


#9

“Why did the paraletic cross the road?” He saw Jesus on the other side.


#10

Disciples: “Are you the only one in Jerusalem who doesn’t know the things that have happened there these days?”

Jesus: “What things?”

…Cracks me up every time. :rotfl:

tee


#11

That one and:

Spinning around in a crowd asking: “Who touched me!?”

tee


#12

“Hey, what’s that mark your hand?”

“I have lepra… Hey, where’d it go?”


#13

John the Baptist: “Behold the Lamb of God that takes away the sins of the world.”

(Crowd turns expectantly)

John the Baptist: “Made ya look!”


#14

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