So far 2020 is like looking both ways before crossing the street and getting hit by an airplane.
It’s better to believe in Gosh, because at worst you only have to go to Heqq.
This is the first Ukrainian pun I have understood!!!
Before the Boogeyman goes to sleep at night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
That old guy got a job with a paper mill, but they folded.
Once during a homily, a neo-mod priest scolded Mass attendees for kneeling and for praying with hands together instead of Orans style. “That’s not how things were done in the old church!” he told them. All while standing on synthetic fiber carpet, speaking into a wireless microphone, under electric lights, in a building with a HVAC system.
(Based on an actual account.)
Did you hear the latest from the world of science? They’ve made a remarkable breakthrough. They’ve discovered a substance that is so powerful that it’ll dissolve anything. Now all they have to do is figure out what to put it in…
Trump just signed an executive order Banning pre shredded cheese.
He is determined to Make America Grate Again !