Just an update re the baby


#1

Hello everyone, I thought I would update.

I took much advice that people gave me on here, I even tried to speak to the Msgr of their local parish to seek help. It wasn't a great deal of help, he really wasn't all that helpful. A Priest was slightly more helpful, but only to the point of confirming his mothers abusive behavior and confirming that I have since contacted the Archbishop to make a complaint and explain the behavior of people their locally.

Unfortunately, the abuse did not stop, and I have spoken to my doctor about a termination (please don't try and tell me it is anything different, I am fully aware of the implications and really cannot cope with anymore assaults on my emotions). This has been an incredibly difficult thing to do and I fought against it as much as possible to the point that I have been on the verge of taking my own life. I have talked to counselors and everything, but there comes a point for everyone where its all too much.

I have to speak to a counselor at the clinic I would go to before they will book anything, I know this isn't what anyone wishes to hear. Sometimes people don't have a choice sometimes they are forced due to the actions of others.

I have also decided to walk away from religion, which was a very difficult thing for me to come to terms with, but after much thought, I can't understand how anyone who claims to be a devout catholic or even a christian could destroy another person in this way by pressuring and abusing them so much. I can't understand why the church would allow these people in their congregation, I understand forgiveness, but forgiveness normally implies that people also learn from their mistakes, not carry on and refuse to listen or believe and instead say how they are good and moral people, and how his mother is such a wonderful and loving person.

This isn't the outcome I had wanted, not by any means.


#2

[quote="MariaCA, post:1, topic:294387"]
Hello everyone, I thought I would update.

I have to speak to a counselor at the clinic I would go to before they will book anything, I know this isn't what anyone wishes to hear. Sometimes people don't have a choice sometimes they are forced due to the actions of others.

This isn't the outcome I had wanted, not by any means.

[/quote]

You always have a choice not to murder. Sure, sometimes it's self defense, but there is no excuse when you are murdering a baby. An innocent, beautiful gift from God. Someone who numerous people out there incapable of having their own babies would love as if he/she were their own flesh and blood.

Your post outrages me, in all honesty. You come onto a Catholic forum, and expect people to cater to your emotions? Why? Because you know you are MURDERING an innocent baby, because you know you are wrong.

I really have nothing else to say; except for I will be praying hard for that little, beautiful LIFE growing inside of you. Your baby. Someone who shares 1/2 your DNA. And as someone with secondary infertility, I weep for the life you are about to kill.


#3

[quote="_Jenn, post:2, topic:294387"]
You always have a choice not to murder. Sure, sometimes it's self defense, but there is no excuse when you are murdering a baby. An innocent, beautiful gift from God. Someone who numerous people out there incapable of having their own babies would love as if he/she were their own flesh and blood.

Your post outrages me, in all honesty. You come onto a Catholic forum, and expect people to cater to your emotions? Why? Because you know you are MURDERING an innocent baby, because you know you are wrong.

I really have nothing else to say; except for I will be praying hard for that little, beautiful LIFE growing inside of you. Your baby. Someone who shares 1/2 your DNA. And as someone with secondary infertility, I weep for the life you are about to kill.

[/quote]

I think your post is very insensitive. I have been through huge amounts of abuse, more than you can imagine. Calling me a murderer is not constructive, you have no idea on what I have gone through to the point of almost suicide.


#4

[quote="MariaCA, post:3, topic:294387"]
I think your post is very insensitive. I have been through huge amounts of abuse, more than you can imagine. Calling me a murderer is not constructive, you have no idea on what I have gone through to the point of almost suicide.

[/quote]

And killing a baby isn't insensitive? I'm sorry, truly, for the abuse you have endured. It still doesn't justify killing your baby. Go to counseling - seek the help you need. If you have reached the brink of suicide now, do you really think killing your baby will be the answer? No - those feelings will only be worse - maybe not initially, but once the enormity of what you have done hits you, you will feel far worse than any of the abuse you've endured made you feel.

Counseling - through your priest, through a good counselor - not someone whose job it is to encourage abortion so they make money off of you - lots of counseling. Something to make you aware of the severity of your situation and what you are about to do. Again, many many prayers for your innocent baby, your gift from God.


#5

[quote="_Jenn, post:4, topic:294387"]
And killing a baby isn't insensitive? I'm sorry, truly, for the abuse you have endured. It still doesn't justify killing your baby. Go to counseling - seek the help you need. If you have reached the brink of suicide now, do you really think killing your baby will be the answer? No - those feelings will only be worse - maybe not initially, but once the enormity of what you have done hits you, you will feel far worse than any of the abuse you've endured made you feel.

Counseling - through your priest, through a good counselor - not someone whose job it is to encourage abortion so they make money off of you - lots of counseling. Something to make you aware of the severity of your situation and what you are about to do. Again, many many prayers for your innocent baby, your gift from God.

[/quote]

I have been to counseling - and not from places that encourage abortion. I have spoken to priests.

Your first post has done nothing but convince me walking away from the church is the right thing. I am constantly crying and suffering from abuse and murder is the first word you think of. Even though thats a legal definition and thus not capable of even being true.


#6

[quote="MariaCA, post:5, topic:294387"]
I have been to counseling - and not from places that encourage abortion. I have spoken to priests.

Your first post has done nothing but convince me walking away from the church is the right thing. I am constantly crying and suffering from abuse and murder is the first word you think of. Even though thats a legal definition and thus not capable of even being true.

[/quote]

Walk away, but remember - God won't walk away from you. He, at least, will welcome your baby with open arms. I'm done with this conversation, as you obviously came here to have people agree with you. And I will not agree with killing a baby. That's part of what being pro-life is about.


#7

[quote="MariaCA, post:5, topic:294387"]
I have been to counseling - and not from places that encourage abortion. I have spoken to priests.

Your first post has done nothing but convince me walking away from the church is the right thing. I am constantly crying and suffering from abuse and murder is the first word you think of. Even though thats a legal definition and thus not capable of even being true.

[/quote]

Please ponder and reconsider. The Lord did not do this to you, but insensitive people. I will pray for you and your child at Mass today. All things are possible with the Lord! May Our Blessed Mother protect you!


#8

[quote="MariaCA, post:5, topic:294387"]
I have been to counseling - and not from places that encourage abortion. I have spoken to priests.

Your first post has done nothing but convince me walking away from the church is the right thing. I am constantly crying and suffering from abuse and murder is the first word you think of. Even though thats a legal definition and thus not capable of even being true.

[/quote]

I'm so sorry for everything that's happened to you. Regardless of what you do don't take your own life. There are people out here who care - I pray God will place one in your path. I can understand your desire to leave- everyone says 'get some help from a priest' you go to a Msgr and a Priest and they're not helpful. I'm sorry they did not come out to aide you. There will be many praying for you
God Bless
Rye


#9

[quote="_Jenn, post:6, topic:294387"]
Walk away, but remember - God won't walk away from you. He, at least, will welcome your baby with open arms. I'm done with this conversation, as you obviously came here to have people agree with you. And I will not agree with killing a baby. That's part of what being pro-life is about.

[/quote]

I didn't come here for people to agree actually. I came because so many people had been supportive, and did not use words like you did in trying to be supportive.

Even people in the local parish I spoke to never used words like that as they saw how very difficult the situation was and what I had been put through.


#10

[quote="MariaCA, post:5, topic:294387"]
I have been to counseling - and not from places that encourage abortion. I have spoken to priests.

Your first post has done nothing but convince me walking away from the church is the right thing. I am constantly crying and suffering from abuse and murder is the first word you think of. Even though thats a legal definition and thus not capable of even being true.

[/quote]

Yes, murder is indeed the correct word. Even people suffering from extreme abuse can commit horrible crimes. Think of all the child molesters who were abused themselves as young children. Are they innocent of their crimes? Think of all the serial killers who were tormented from youth. Should they be allowed to walk for their evils? I imagine that the culpability is lessened but the truth is the truth.

I don't think you really believe walking away from the Church is the right thing to do or killing your child is the right thing to do either. If you really felt that way you would not have come back on this forum and you certainly would not use the term "baby." You know in your heart of hearts what you are considering doing. You know it is wrong but you don't see any way out. I cannot empathize because I cannot imagine the trials you are enduring, but sugarcoating your plans does not help you, your soul, your child or even your current predicament.

Jenn was quite right in saying that God will never, ever walk away from you. Ever. He doesn't walk away from anyone. But we can walk away from Him. Even if we return someday after committing horrible evils, we will always be plagued with self-doubt, shame and self-hatred born from Satan and nourished by our own broken nature.

We cannot be party to the killing of innocents but of course we can't do much about it via the Internet except say that we will pray for you, your child and for those who have hurt your grievously. Know that the only one who can give you peace and strength is God. Recall what Jesus said so many times to his followers and what the Lord spoke so often to Israel:

Do not be afraid.

Remember what Christ's final gift to His Apostles was: Peace.

If you want peace, you must truly find Christ. You will not find peace or a "way out" without Him and I assure you that killing a child will make it exponentially harder to find peace, especially since it is clear that in the deepest parts of your soul, you know what's going on.

May God grant you peace and mercy.


#11

I am so thankful for those here who have continued to be supportive and try to show me people care, and continue praying.

I do wish I had the strength to do something, but after 6 weeks of fighting against these people and the abuse, I have none left. Please understand none of what I have said I have said easily, if something happened that allowed me to continue I would take it, I am just so truly numb now, spending days being so depressed, not sleeping etc.

Had they just left it when I said I would do it alone, instead of everything they did, I wouldn't be where I am now, but I can't do anything about the way these people have destroyed me.


#12

[quote="MariaCA, post:9, topic:294387"]
I didn't come here for people to agree actually. I came because so many people had been supportive, and did not use words like you did in trying to be supportive.

Even people in the local parish I spoke to never used words like that as they saw how very difficult the situation was and what I had been put through.

[/quote]

What other words can be used? Homicide? Killing? I mean this is really what is happening. You have a human being inside your body with unique DNA, unique brainwaves and a unique heartbeat. He or she is indeed a living person and intentionally taking his or her life can really only be called one thing, can it not? I understand that it's a horrible thing to be told, especially since you are also a victim, but why make more victims? Why not let the violence end with you?

Recall the famous hymn: Let there be peace on Earth, and let it begin with me.

You have endured horrible trials. You have few Earthly supporters. But you have the entire Host of Heaven on your side! You have Christ ever near you. You need only open the door well and truly to His will for you and you will be given the strength you need. Sure, it's easy for me to say this from here but I assure you that everyone has been through struggles.

I personally struggle with addiction and was so despairing in it that it nearly cost me my family. The only one who could save me from myself was Christ and thus far he has. I must make a conscious effort to turn my life over to Him every day so I will be without fear of what today will bring. I must trust Him completely that He will heal my wife and children. I cannot do anything without Him. So it is for you and so it is for all of us.


#13

Maria, I am praying for you. Please understand, this is a life or death situation, please keep your child. I know you have said that adoption is not an option, but I beg you to consider it if nothing else. I am truly sorry about your situation, but know that we are here for you. Abortion is never the solution, please reconsider.

silentnomoreawareness.org/


#14

[quote="The_Bucket, post:10, topic:294387"]
Yes, murder is indeed the correct word. Even people suffering from extreme abuse can commit horrible crimes. Think of all the child molesters who were abused themselves as young children. Are they innocent of their crimes? Think of all the serial killers who were tormented from youth. Should they be allowed to walk for their evils? I imagine that the culpability is lessened but the truth is the truth.

I don't think you really believe walking away from the Church is the right thing to do or killing your child is the right thing to do either. If you really felt that way you would not have come back on this forum and you certainly would not use the term "baby." You know in your heart of hearts what you are considering doing. You know it is wrong but you don't see any way out. I cannot empathize because I cannot imagine the trials you are enduring, but sugarcoating your plans does not help you, your soul, your child or even your current predicament.

Jenn was quite right in saying that God will never, ever walk away from you. Ever. He doesn't walk away from anyone. But we can walk away from Him. Even if we return someday after committing horrible evils, we will always be plagued with self-doubt, shame and self-hatred born from Satan and nourished by our own broken nature.

We cannot be party to the killing of innocents but of course we can't do much about it via the Internet except say that we will pray for you, your child and for those who have hurt your grievously. Know that the only one who can give you peace and strength is God. Recall what Jesus said so many times to his followers and what the Lord spoke so often to Israel:

Do not be afraid.

Remember what Christ's final gift to His Apostles was: Peace.

If you want peace, you must truly find Christ. You will not find peace or a "way out" without Him and I assure you that killing a child will make it exponentially harder to find peace, especially since it is clear that in the deepest parts of your soul, you know what's going on.

May God grant you peace and mercy.

[/quote]

For it to be murder, for it to fit that there must have been the crime of homicide, if it were murder, every person involved in such practices would be serving life. All I was stating is that murder is a legal definition and is used to make things more emotive, and I asked that people didn't use these words because psychologically I have taken enough abuse, without people trying further to eat at my emotions. It is wholly possible to express beliefs without using these words.


#15

Here’s the thing though… killing your child will not end your strife. In fact, it will most likely make it worse. I think you know this. You want to quit, you want a way out and I’m telling you what you already know: There is no way out except through Christ.

None of us have any strength except through Him. Period. Do not fight anyone on your own. Let God fight those battles for you and ask Him to “hold you.” Just do that. Do that for a community that is praying hard for you and your child.

Take some time today to beg God to give you peace and show you His will. Take a moment and turn your life to Him and do it completely. Ask Him to knock down the door and show you that you will have peace and tranquility if you follow Him. Tell Him that you know this intellectually but you need to be shown it spiritually and you are willing to follow Him to the ends of the Earth.

Christ was not a liar when He said that His yoke is easy and his burden light. When we try to fight the world ourselves we are crushed by it. When we let God control our lives, though there may be struggles and sadness, we are able to win the day with Him.

So just take a moment. An hour. An entire day. Read Christ’s word in the Scripture. Ask him to truly penetrate your soul and give you peace. Ask Him with total abandon to take your life over. Give your life and your unborn child’s life totally to Him. He will not refuse you.


#16

[quote="MariaCA, post:14, topic:294387"]
For it to be murder, for it to fit that there must have been the crime of homicide, if it were murder, every person involved in such practices would be serving life. All I was stating is that murder is a legal definition and is used to make things more emotive, and I asked that people didn't use these words because psychologically I have taken enough abuse, without people trying further to eat at my emotions. It is wholly possible to express beliefs without using these words.

[/quote]

Homicide: The killing of one human being by another human being.

As I said, that's what would happen here and you know that. No one is trying to abuse you here. We're trying to explain the gravity of the situation and pull you back to what you know in your heart. As a defense mechanism you are lying to yourself and you know it. We're trying to help you be healed.

Read what I wrote before. Ask God for peace. Not for "a way out." Not for everything to be fixed. Not for people to stop hurting you. Ask for peace. It is the gift of the Spirit. God will not take away all the hardships in your life but He will make them easier to bear if you ask Him with all your heart.


#17

[quote="MariaCA, post:11, topic:294387"]
I am so thankful for those here who have continued to be supportive and try to show me people care, and continue praying.

I do wish I had the strength to do something, but after 6 weeks of fighting against these people and the abuse, I have none left. Please understand none of what I have said I have said easily, if something happened that allowed me to continue I would take it, I am just so truly numb now, spending days being so depressed, not sleeping etc.

Had they just left it when I said I would do it alone, instead of everything they did, I wouldn't be where I am now, but I can't do anything about the way these people have destroyed me.

[/quote]

So now you are going to destroy an innocent life, and you think that is going to improve your own life? You are giving yourself a burden that you will never fully recover from. People who are close to suicide should NEVER be allowed to terminate a pregnancy.

I know what I am talking about because I watched my sister go through it. She's never been the same person she was before the abortion. You are making the worst mistake of your life. Find a safe place and nurture that little life within in you, it is innocent as you were at one time, and needs the protection you seem never to have had.

You are feeling nothing but self-pity and not thinking of the innocent life within you. I will pray for you and for your baby. Please talk to a crisis pregnancy center, there is help and you can always choose to give your baby to a couple who is longing to have a child.


#18

MariaCA,

Praying for you, your child, and the healing you need beyond this situation. Just sent you a private message...please read it


#19

You are in your second trimester. Your baby is growing and developing.

Don't harm this child!!!!!

You were given the privilige by GOD to nurture and grow this baby. Turning your back on religion isn't going to make your choice right.

You have only a little more time left till the baby is born, you are half way there!!! Give that baby what he deserves. He didn't do anything to warrant the death penalty.

Your baby looks probably a great deal like this!!!!

http://images.meredith.com/parents/images/2009/10/ss_week14_ultrasound.jpg


#20

I am going to repeat this, and I want you to understand,

Killing your baby will be the worst mistake of your life. No abuse that anyone else could do to you will hurt you more over the long-term, than the knowledge that that baby that is YOUR OWN CHILD, was destroyed, pulled to bits, because you were too weak to protect him/her. It is a burden that you should not give yourself, Maria. In your state of mind, I do not think you will be able to handle the realization of what you have done. Right now, you think you will feel better after it is over, but you don't know what it is really like, and the aftermath. The people who are counseling you to abort your baby, to kill your baby, care nothing for you, or they would not advise you to do this horrible act. It will scar your mind and soul, Maria.

You can find true support, Maria. There are many crisis pregnancy centers all over the country, with caring people who will help you to take care of yourself and finish the pregnancy and see your baby's precious face after you give birth. Then if you wish, you can give the baby to a couple of your choosing, who will raise him/her and allow you to be a part of the child's life as much as you wish.

Just please do not do this, Maria. You will regret it in a much more painful way than you have ever known before.


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