Most of you know that I’m pregnant with baby #4. I’m due Oct. 22.
I also have an incompetent cervix and have a circlage (sp?) or stitch in the cervix to help avoid anymore premature births. All my kids were early, #1 born at 31 weeks, #2 born at 36 weeks, #3 born at 37 weeks.
I’ve been under tremendous amounts of stress this time around. Many many problems with hubby and severe depression to the point I wanted to give this baby up for adoption. I’m in therapy, as well as my husband to work through everything.
Well, we’ve had many downs these past couple weeks but also a few nice things too.
My dad was diagnosed with lung cancer 2 weeks ago. The good news, PET scan showed it’s totally contained and there is no more cancer anywhere else but in the golf ball sized tumor.
Just this friday my mom was in the hospital because of being violently ill all week long. She’s had these symptoms for months, on and off, but fluffed them off as nothing more than something she ate since they only lasted a few hours a couple times a month. This past week she had bloody stools, high fevers and severe vomiting, and her stomach feels like someone clubed her with a baseball bat. Thankfully it’s only an intestinal infection, but it’s a pretty bad one in both the large and small intestines. The meds she’s on wipe her out and she had to change her diet radically.
Last night (sunday 18th) my husband began having severe pain in his back down to his lower abdomen. We knew he had 3 small kidney stones in his right kidney, this was diagnosed 2 years ago, one started to move. I had to take him to the ER where he had a CT scan and was drugged up with pain medication. He’s got a 4mm stone that’s traveling and will be passed probably soon. He’s got a 2 and 3 mm stone still in the kidney. Two years ago he passed a tic tac sized stone from his left side. He and I were up most of the night last night because of his being sick when he came home and he lost a day of work today for obvious reasons. I had to drive him to the doctors this morning and I’m simply exhausted.
Because of the stress from last night and today I’m having pain. I’m 35 weeks along and have had some lovely contractions today. I feel the baby has dropped and I’m just concerned about what’s going to happen. I’m alone with my 2 little ones during the day, my friends and family work, except my parents. They have not been able to help me like we planned because of what’s going on with them. Thankfully I haven’t been bleeding and there’s no real unusual discharge but I did pass a little more thick yellow mucus…I’m wondering if that was some of the cervical plug. I go to the docs next monday. I will call if I feel contrations regularly or if I see anything that is concerning, like blood.
I don’t want to labor against this stitch. Hopefully doc will take it out next week and I’ll be more at ease than I am now with it in.
Some good news is my husband has really been changing his ways with me and they’ve lasted for a week and a half. Usually when he’d feel guilty or apologize for his behavior, I could count on him reverting to old habits after a couple of days or so. This is the longest he’s been consistant with his behavior and has actually improved each day instead of reverting then trying to make up for his mistakes.
I think the last therapy session had a big impact on him. Doc told him to stop trying to change the way he thinks of me, instead change the way he acts toward me and see if I respond differently. He said the change in thinking will come as a result because hubby will SEE how I react to his positive behavior and words and it will reinforce a better view and way of thinking about me. It seems to be working, he’s already feeling better about himself as a result. I’ve been praying for this kind of change for years…YEARS!!
Please pray for me. I"m mentally and physically exhausted with everything that’s happening. I just want to have a healthy delivery and baby. I just want good to come as a result of my parents illnesses. I also want my and my family’s faith to increase as a result.
God bless and thanks for letting me vent.