Just Back From Iraq and Wife No Longer Wants to be Married


I am so deeply sorry that you came home to this heartbreak. Please know that you are not alone. Not only those who are praying for you, but please look beside you. Christ is offering to help you carry this cross.

I will pray for you and your family; that you may have a peaceful and loving resolution to this mess; I will ask others I know to pray for you as well. There is an Iraq war vet group at MSN. Perhaps you will find support there as well and even others who have faced similar circumstances.

May the Peace and Love of the Lord be with you always,




I will pray for you my friend…



I am humbled before God for the Grace he is showing me with all of your prayers and support. I’m trying to maintain my sanity, but when I hold my kids and tuck them in at night all I can do to not lose it, is to find a quiet place and cry. My children who are 14, 12, 9, and twin girls who are 5 are my whole being, and I still love my wife so very much, no matter how she tries to push me away, I am committed to her. My family tells me I may need to face reality, but I trying to have faith that God’s will is to bless our marriage.
I will remember all of you in my prayers…thank you more than
I can adequately express…Thank you, and may God Bless
all of you in this forum.



First off, let me say thank you for serving your country. Secondly, I would like to welcome you home and say I will offer my daily rosary for you.



Dear RDY,

Welcome home and thanks for your service to us all. I will say that I am happy to hear that you have not even up on your marriage even though your wife has. Good for you. I will tell you of a story to give you hope that it is possible for your wife’s heart to soften and your marriage heal.

We have friends that had been married for about 15 to 16 years. They have four children, ages 5-12. The dad, more of a friend to us, than the mom, was into pornography and this riped apart the trust that was left in their marriage. She got upset one day when she caught him watching the videos and threw him out of the house. They had other marital problems, but he opening talked about this one particular fault and sin for he wanted his friends to pray for that specifically. They were separated for about a year, but he came over every morning to eat breakfast with the kids, who were homeschooled, and help out. He was there in the evening babysitting at times while his wife went out. He didn’t like this, but he wanted to win her over and bent over backwards to do whatever she wanted. He asked for prayers from family and friends. I remember running into his wife when they were separated and she talked about him as if she hated his guts. I didn’t think they had much hope, but I continued to pray anyway for nothing is impossible with God. Little did our friend know that she was filing for divorce and was going to have him served, when he asked her one last request. They went on this marriage weekend and she cried and cried. They had to stay in the same hotel room, but slept on separate beds. By the end of that weekend, she did not want the divorce anymore and promised to work on their marriage with him. That was about three years ago and they look so happy now and in fact she got pregnant again, but unfortunately had a miscarriage. There marriage is so much improved. They were at the doors of a divorce, and God heard all those prayers and softened her heart. Let me telll you it was not easy for the man, our friend, for he said he had to humble himself so much. He said he was very selfish and he became selfless. His brothers all told him that it was hopeless and to give up and he refused. He was always there for his children on a daily basis.

You will be in my prayers and I know that if you are ready for battle, your will need all the weapons you can use to win. Please pick up the Rosary, if you don’t pray it already. It is a powerful weapon against evil and the evil one wants you two to get a divorce. My friend went to many Holy Hours and this helped him in his daily conversion. He also went to frequent confession and signed up in a group for his specific problem.

God Bless you and I will pray for you in my daily Rosary. I too believe in St. Rita’s powerful intercession and St. Anne’s, Jesus’ grandmother and of course, Our Mother Mary.



I pray, with my heart heavy but spirit lifted, to St. Joseph for this man. Put your arm on his shoulder, good St. Joseph, and with your prayers to Jesus and our Father, ask blessings to pour over this man, and the grace to stand firm, meek, but strong.
I ask the intercession of our Lady, our Mother, on this man’s wife. Mary, your prayers and help are beyond compare. You never cease to guide us and to help us. As the wonderful mother that you are, inspire the soul of this woman to a spirit of conversion, of repentence, of forgiveness, of faith.

Lord Jesus, surround this home with the strength of a thousand warrior angels. Inspire the guardian angels of this family to speak loudly and strongly to them.

In Jesus name, I pray




I will pray for you and your intentions. :gopray2:



I pray for forgiveness for you both. I pray for courage and the deep trusting in the Father you will need. I pray for freedom from wrong thoughts and attitudes and I pray for the broken heart of Jesus to mend your marriage.



Thank you for serving our country. I’m so sorry for what you are going through. Would your wife consider attending Retrouvaille? This program saved my marriage. I can totally relate to the feeling you have descibed, I remember that unbelievable dark and painful time in my life.

You and your wife are in prayers. My God bless you and give you consolation and strength during this difficult time.

Here’s a link to the Retrouvaille program. I pray that your wife will consider it.



I am a military family member. My baby brother entered the Marine Corps months before 9/11. He completed two tours in Iraq…only after his discharge (honorable) did he tell us how many times they faced danger. Missiles, bombs…sorry…he was in Baghdad. Both tours. You saw things that were never intended to be witnessed. You and so many other became a chapter of history that we should have never been forced to write. You came home safely, a veteran, a hero…a living representation of what the military guarantees…freedom, democracy, and trust. I cannot thank you enough. Your service to our America will never be fully appreciated. Thank you X 100. Still not enough.

Your current situation is painful for me to read. I grew up in a military family. I know all about the sacrifices on both sides. I commend your efforts to heal this marriage. But, I feel you have a clear path by visiting with a priest. And prayer is the most powerful agent we have in the Catholic arsenal. Use your quiet times for the warm loving embrace of our Holy Mary. Pray the rosary while offering your intentions of saving this marriage. Don’t stop after one pass…go again. Prayer is power. And I pray for you.:console:



Hey Ready 4 Battle, :knight2:

Welcome to the forum first, and thank you for protecting our freedom and going over there to the battle zone. I am sorry that you had to come home for that. I will pray for you and your family. I hope everything works out for you.

God Bless,





Wow! You and your family are definitely in my prayers. :crossrc:



:console: Aww…I am so sorry to hear this.

My father is a retired Colonel in the U.S. Army. I am honored to be praying for you and your marriage and family.

Bless you for protecting my family and I! Thank you for your courage, bravery, and the sacrifices you made to keep my family and I safe and sound back here at home! :hug1: I really cannot thank you enough. I will offer my prayers for you as a thanksgiving! :slight_smile:

God bless and keep you now and always!



I’ll be praying for you and your family.



My dear brother in Christ, you are in my prayers.:byzsoc::byzsoc:




My heart goes out to you. Thank you for your service and sacrifices. I will be praying for you, your marriage and for your dear children.



Praying for you with my armor (Eph 6) on!!!
Thank you!!!



remembering you and your family on my rosary today. :blessyou:



My DH proudly served our country in the air force for 22 years, he served two tours in Vietnam. We’ve had many friends and family serving in this conflct and give thanks to God for you and what you have done for this country. I know how horrible this is for you. To come home from that conflict and face what you are facing now is more than anyone shoud have to bear. But please know in your heart that God will strengthen you for what is to come, no matter which way this goes for you, He will either take away your suffering or give you strength to bear it. Our Lord is waiting for you in His Tabernacle. Present yourself and listen to His whisperings. Let the Holy Spirit lead you.
You have been added to my daily prayers.
God bless,



I will pray for you & your family. Stay strong for your children! They need you!
I would recommend taking it slow with your wife & try “courting” her again. Sometimes we all need to be reminded of the feelings we had when we first started dating & fell in love with each other.
I pray that it will work out for you all!

God’s Blessings!



DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.