I'm hurting right now and was wondering if someone could give me some guidance and reassurance. :(
Background info: I am in my early 20s, have been Catholic for 2 years. I was pregnant out of wedlock when I was initiated into the Church and my son is now a toddler. My son's father is involved but there's no chance we would reconcile the relationship we had.
I live at home with my parents while I attend school (I don't work). Just to give an idea of where I am at: I recently obtained an Associate's degree and I am continuing to work toward a BS.
Long story short:
I met my boyfriend (who is in his late 20s) at school (where he works) at the very end of January this year and I immediately felt a sense of peace...it was a sense that indicated to me that this was perhaps the man God intended me to marry (I had been praying here and there for a good husband). Of course there was an issue in my heart as soon as I discovered that this man was not a practicing Catholic. He was "raised" Catholic, has been baptized but never received First Communion.
Anyhow, although our relationship lasted for a very short period of time, we did fall in love and felt as though we had known each other for much longer. We also did both believe that God set the whole thing up. We talked about getting married. I told him about the conditions revolved around getting married in the Church and although he struggles with the rationale behind some of them, he agreed to live by them. He also started attending Church again as he had not attended Mass for several years.
However, problems with chastity occurred throughout our relationship (not fornication, although sin is still sin). After Divine Mercy Sunday I thought I was finally ready to stop the sinning but lo and behold, because of my pride, I fell again with him yesterday. I went to Mass today and believe that Jesus made it very clear to me that I needed to end the relationship. I believe Jesus said that, because I could not "contain" myself, that breaking up with my boyfriend was the best course of action :o, which is what I did tonight.
Naturally, my boyfriend is extremely upset and heartbroken. I am too, although I am trying to trust that God knows what He is doing (which of course He does, even though I may not see it right now). We talked on the phone tonight after I broke up with him in person and I tried to ask him why he doesn't seek after a deeper relationship with God. For one he says he "doesn't need it" and two, he thinks that the teachings in the Bible and of the Church are out of touch with reality. I tried to explain things to the best of my abilities but at some point he said he couldn't listen anymore. He believes that one day I will see things differently.
I suppose I wanted to post because I wanted some reassurance, that I am not being crazy by sticking to the Church. I also want to have hope, that its possible that my new ex could come around and really believe in the Truth. Just to make things clear though, I am not saying that I am trying to change or convert him nor am I going to wait around for him as if he's the only guy out there. I just have this sense that he's going to change, but maybe I am just crazy :whacky: