Today I need to make a decision whether to take a job teaching animation in the fall or not. I was just confirmed this Easter, and I went to communion and adoration for about a half hour, and I am really feeling tormented right now. I feel like God wants me to be a religious and teach theology (which is something I have sensed and feared for a while, but am afraid to do).
I believe I have real skill as an artist, and I have been tormented by the fact that I’m piddling away on small commissions when I could actually be working in animation, and I was originally going to chapel to discern whether to take up the teaching job or try to earnestly get a storyboarding job. After Adoration, I feel spiritually attacked and really depressed and mentally unstable. Right now I am constantly being tempted to be resentful and belligerent towards God about where I’m at right now emotionally and mentally, but I know that God is working through this somehow.
I still have work I need to do, and other responsibilities, and I just wanted to ask that you pray that 1. I wouldn’t sin mortally in this time of trial, and 2. I wouldn’t let my mental instability rob me of being productive, and 3. that I would make the right decision and be obedient to God’s will.