Well I am sorry girlfriend. That’s rough. Maybe it is because you started initiating sex (now that you can!) it kinda scared him a bit. He likes to be the hunter, and if his “prey” is sitting there ready to be slayed in her sexie nightie…well it kinda defeats the purpose. Not that you are doing ANYTHING wrong, I don’t think so at all, I just think you new Dh might have some issues that need to be addressed.
Little does he KNOW how foolish he is being, because in a few years, especially while you are pregnant, post partum, etc. you aren’t going to be so willing - in fact you might take on the tone of “oh uh-huh not tonight my love.” Silly on him! :shrug: Just wait – he’ll say “but back when…you were so…” LOL Welcome to marriage! Now we are lucky if we can even get some loving in…Dh had to hop in the shower with me this morning, lock and bolt the doors against our three kids and still be ready for church…long gone are the days of lounging sexily in lengerie enjoying each other and that sweet thing called “time.”
Well quick advice on this for your part, only because I watched this happen to a friend of mine, and oh man, you don’t even want to know how badly it turned out…BUT NOTE: they did have premarital sex, she was pg when they wed, and he didn’t even touch her on the honeymoon. He didn’t touch her for almost 2 years. When I say “touch” I don’t mean just sexually – I mean COMPLETELY. No hugs, no kisses, no kindness, no snuggles – NOTHING. We all thought him gay, and was surprised he did actually touch her at 2 years, but then quit touching her again, and eventually had an affair and left her for another WOMAN! :eek: I could of bet it would be a man…but yeah anyway…
Her response was typical, she wanted love. He told her he didn’t like “confrontation” and he felt threatened with “anger” or “arguing” when she attempted to talk to him. So she responded in a predictable but un-cool way. She started throwing silent tantrums, grunting, grudges, attitude, wouldn’t speak up but made the air thick enough to slice with a knife…and what’s worse: she brought it to her friends. In all areas fo life she was a miserable human with so much attitude it was difficult to get along with her, or even have her around.
So I think, most important of all is to KEEP COMMUNICATION OPEN. He is trying to tell you he’s uncomfortable when you initiate, but I think he needs to learn that mutual intiation is not only “normal” it can be very sexy. I know the idea of a marriage retreat so early in the marriage may feel like a failure, but ANYTHING that strengthens your relationship, opens the lines of communication, builds trust, and helps with the happiness and bliss of early marriage is a GOOD GOOD THING.
I don’t want you to become like my friend. She’s better now that he left her, but still…what a ****** situation. Keep the lines of communication open! Wear sexy nighty, but under a robe and only slightly “flash” him…make him work for it for now, and let him ease in to the idea that you actually LIKE what he has to offer!
Big hugs momma, prayers with you. Update us when you can!