I’m depressed, with trust issues, due to countless times of betrayal. People hurt me, I take the high road, but the anger develops within. I don’t want the anger getting out, but I don’t know how to deal with it. I’m married with kids, and all my energy goes to being fake and trying to be strong so I can support and provide for them.
My wife had also betrayed me before. To the point where I considered divorce, but then thought of the kids. I’m trying to learn to trust her again, but it’s hard. For that matter, I’d like to just trust in general, again…My kids, BTW, are autistic. FML, right? Yah, I know I’m selfish, but besides my own ego, I constantly worry about how my kids will be when they grow up. How will they survive? Who will take care of them?.
I want to be a good Catholic, but part of me is mad at God for making my kids Autistic. Yes, I do blame God a little. Not so much as He singled my kids to be Autstic, but more of a “why me?” type thing. In spite of all this, I still want to have good relationship with God. Just being honest…
I’m estranged from my extended family, and they continue to slander me. Once again…FML! Classic case of bad things happen to good people.
With no one close to me to confide in, or trust, what am I to do? When you don’t have anyone close to you, at least to me, the only thing left is the kindness of strangers.
What would you say to me? I welcome all input/suggestions/prayers.