Could anyone help me? I don’t know if I am extraordinarily weak and sensitive but sometimes I just feel like I am going under by having to live here (Denmark, Europe).
One day in my life: I read the morning news paper. For the third time in one weak an Arabic man has raped a Danish woman in “my back yard” in the early morning or middle of the day outside. I get the feeling I wanna run out, find the guy and cut of his you-know-what. I am filled with anger.
Then I sit here (I live in a university house), at my writing desk doing my work when my young neighbour has intercourse with her boyfriend next door and has a loud orgasm… I feel nailed to the spot and start weeping. For a long moment I want to die.
I escape from my room and run to the city. I nearly step in some puke from last night’s party as I get off the bus in the city.
Two times I see couples touch each other inappropriately on the open street.
As I get home I get yet another letter back from a politician as a response to a protest letter I send to the government last week when they suddenly made a new rule giving green light for women to bathe without covering their breasts in the public swimming halls… I am now called a “puritan” and a “spinster” by politicians elected by the people. I feel alone in my protesting since the rest of the Christian community here does not seem to care one bit about anything… and now I am at the mercy of foolish politicians who dont want to respond in a professional way to my appeal because I am far outnumbered anyway…
I go to Mass and get relieved somewhat by the peace and strength of Christ… but the newly ordained priest does not preach … he has a sermon alright but he dares not say anything that may disturb the people. That people are immodestly dressed and dont keep their children quiet are the least of our problems… John the baptist and Jesus preached “repentance to the forgiveness of sins”… as its written in my Bible… but I have hardly ever heard a priest preach about repentance from sins, let alone mention any of them.
Then I come home… enter the kitchen and hear another neighbour singing drinking songs about sex… only… he is not drunk but thinks this is funny and apparently it is… coz two girls are giggling… And I get sad that I did not have the strength to befriend him and all the others here so that I might tell them about the beauty of pure love and chastity… but I got tired before I could begin.
Could anyone please, please… tell me where I can go and live in an environment that has at least some kind of Christian community that actually believes in their message? I am soooo tired of this place… I don’t want to live in a sectarian cave… but almost anything seems better than bringing up children here… Because of my passion I am afraid of getting a heart attack some day because I am often so upset by everything I see and hear.