It was warm enough to get out and go to mass. I have been trying for weeks now to overcome my anxiety and get out the door to go to church. I REALLY need to go to mass. I am struggling with depression, anxiety, and overcoming a spirit relationship born from occult practices.
All set this morning. Except the kids (ages 4 and 5) were difficult to get out of bed and were very unruly and difficult. And I discovered that we haven’t enough money to cover gas to get to church or make an offering. The kids only got worse as the morning went on and Iin the end I gave up. Another week missed. I am so discouraged. I am so sick of trying to have a spiritual life and functioning as a single parent for weeks on end while my husband is on the road (he’s a truckdriver). I am tired from having no family or friends to help. I sat in the floor and just cried. It’s too hard. I don’t know why I even bother. I cannot receive communion because my marriage isn’t valid according to the church. It’s all just…too much. Why does it have to be about suffering? What is the point of all that?