Just wanting to find decent Catholics(my age)


#1

Greetings in Christ.

I write to seek advice… I’m a 22 year old public school teacher from a very rural area that does not have many ‘strong’ Catholics. I have tried hard to find some, and the best I can do is find friends that are ‘ok’ but are not strong in faith at all. I have good catholic friends, but they all live more than an hour from me, and having a limited amount of money, visiting or calling a lot is not possible.

I just need some support and prayer and definitely some advice and pointers on how to keep my faith life strong when there are not others in my age range to speak with and ‘hang out’ with and enjoy each other’s company and support.

God Bless you all.


#2

I can appreciate your dilemma! I too live in a small town, although blessed with a very faithful priest and a small group of devout Catholics, I have not “clicked” with any of the locals (age, family/marital status differences, time available, etc). For me, I found that an excellent source of fellowship in the faith was through a Third Order. Are you familiar with them? There most likely won’t be one in your local community but if you’re willing to travel on a once a month basis, you should be able to participate in one in your local region.

Yes, the resurgence of interest in doing things as Holy Mother Church teaches is a bit of a hit-and-miss adventure these days, but there are other faithful Catholics out there with whom we can meet to renew us in our commitment to Christ.

God Bless you in your endeavor to find them,

CARose


#3

Thank you. There really are no third orders around here, either… None that i know of… Thanks for your support tho.

I might also add that the limited ‘Good, faithful orthodox’ population around here also lends me to not being able to find anyone for a serious relationship where one can look towards marriage. This may be God’s way of telling me ‘not right now’ but it also frusterates me to know that i cannot date for fear of not having a good faithful Catholic woman. I promise i’m not complaining tho! I’m definitely trying to seek the Lord’s will.


#4

I’m so happy to know that you are trusting God’s will in all this, for somehow, in His infinite wisdom He knows the why’s behind the delays in your knowing your vocation.

If you strongly believe you are called to the married life, may I suggest you look into Ave Maria Singles. A friend of mine met her husband there and found it to be an excellent way of meeting another committed Catholic. I have another friend (albeit, both are older women, but I’ve heard they have young people there as well), who has met a couple of interesting men through their site. She hasn’t found a life partner at this time, but she has met men with whom she has been able to correspond and share a portion of her life with.

It can be a really safe way of discerning a relationship, as it does not have the risks of getting physically attracted before knowing some of what the person stands for spiritually.

Just a thought.

God Bless,

CARose


#5

Thank you. I have been using catholicmatch.com and have met some nice women that have become friends… but alas, none of them live near me… what I feel i need in my life are some strong friends that I can interact with on a daily or weekly basis, not someone who lives miles away… i just feel so lonely in my faith out here on the prairie


#6

God may be using this “time in the desert” to form you for some special ministry. Use your time to study the faith and prepare yourself for whatever Christ has in mind for you. You may want to see if your parish, or another in your area has Adoration and use some of your free time to visit with Christ. Ask Him what He wants from you and how you might find the companionship you crave.

Many saints have taught of the importance of detachment from the world for doing God’s will. It may be that this is your opportunity to develop this detachment.

God Bless you in your search for peace and happiness,

CARose


#7

Hi friend,
Well, I live in a big city and I too feel as lonely as a prairie dog! It would appear that one has a greater chance of meeting other faithful Catholics in a large city, but not when it’s predominantly pagan! The Catholics I do know are hardly what I would call faithful. I’ve been virtually alone since my return to the Church 4 years ago but this last six months have proven themselves to be fruitful. Some of it has to do with CAF, and some of the folks I’ve “met” online who live in my city. Most of it has to do with the glorious generosity of God. I believe He may have let me be alone for awhile to “stew” in my faith and educate myself.

I think you will find many friends here and it can provide some comfort and companionship for you (not the up close and personal kind though!). I know for me, it has helped me feel less like a “voice crying in the wilderness”.

Do you have a home Parish and if so, do you participate in outside activities through the Church? One of our local Parishes just had a weekend retreat with Fr. Corapi which brought more faithful Catholics out of the woodwork than I ever imagined could exist in this city! I’ve also found that volunteering in or through the Church will put you in touch with other Catholics. Also, recognize that we are all human and all sinners. Though someone may not be as devout and faithful as we might like, we can sometimes befriend them and use the opportunity to evangelize.


#8

I’ve seen some hotties go to weekday mass… not that I was scanning or anything, but you should try it sometime.


#9

Hey! I’m almost eighteen and I know what you mean. Most of my friends who are strong Christians are Protestants and I have a couple of good Catholic friends. However, it is difficult because my town has a lot of Catholics, yet mostly because of family tradition and their culture/ethnicity (our town is mostly Irish/Italian w/some Portuguese and Hispanic/Latinos) A lot of kids my age don’t understand why I don’t drink, do drugs, or have sex (and when I say that I’m Catholic, they all say, “But we’re Catholic too!”, which ticks me off, because it causes scandal) It’s hard also, because I am a convert and people don’t understand why I’d want to be a Catholic. I find sites like this and Phatmass to be very supportive and I’m grateful for that.


#10

Thank you all. I am very involved in my parish and my community… there just isn’t anyone… when you are from a farming and ranchign community and the local town is 100 people… and yes, I attend daily mass as often as I can… and there are no ‘hotties’ there (i really don’t like to call beautiful women ‘hotties’ because it seems demeaning…)

ANYWAYs… thanks for your prayers and suggestions. I really appreciate it.


#11

Firstly, I would suggest looking for friends for their personality and character rather than faith alone and not judging them. People who have their theology right will not always follow through with acts. People who act all Christian may believe such strange things that you will wonder what planet they have come from. People who cave in to one particular kind of temptation will be particularly strong against another. Therefore, it’s quite pointless to judge people this way, although it must hurt to see fellow Catholics break fast because they do so want a kebab on a (Lenten) Friday or have premarital sex because they just want it, and so on and so forth.

Additionally, perhaps try not to depend so much on friends for your faith. “Where two or three people,” I know, but it’s ultimately a personal relationship with God. One can become a saint in complete solitude as well. Friends strong in the same faith are good to have, but too much dependance is not good. I generally believe that too much dependance on other people is generally not that great, but I’m not a psychologist, anyway. Just a thing to consider maybe.

I’ll be praying for you and if this is any consolation, I’m 24, living in a Catholic country and I certainly don’t talk on a more than weekly basis with someone who would, let’s say, unconditionally obey all the discipline and moral teachings. And you don’t want me to get started on finding a wife.


#12

Perhaps be more open to the idea of moving or getting involved with a long distance relationship.


#13

Thanks. I’ll keep praying and reflecting on all of this.


#14

Just a thought. What about a hobby or some kind of involvement that includes travelling but at no significant monetary cost on your side? What about some group retreats with friends and, let’s say, friends of friends and whomever one brings along? Biking could be good, but you probably already do that.


#15

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