Just wrote my godchild an email


#1

As a godfather, I recently learned that my godchild is not planning to marry in a Catholic sacramental marriage, just one of those destination weddings by a justice of the peace.

I wrote her an email from my heart, explaining how important a sacramental marriage covenant is…

Do you think she will write me back? Do you think I am just barking up a tree?

Pray for this situation to end happily! Please.


#2

She may email you back, but I would prepare yourself for the worst. Having said that there is a good chance that she may be receptive, but I would not hold my breath. “Love can make you blind.”

What is her fiance’s religion? Do you know him? If not, what do you know about him? Do you know why she does not want to have a Catholic wedding? How old is she? Does her family accept this? Are you the only one that feels this way?

Just a few questions. :blush: :thumbsup:

I admire your courage and defense of the faith!!


#3

I don’t know if she’ll write you back or blow you off-- but you did the right thing!

Keep praying for her.


#4

She is marrying a non-practicing Jew. He has visited a couple of times with my niece but they live in a different state. She is also 27 years old. First marriage for both of them. I don’t know what the reason is for choosing not to marry in the church and when I ask my sister, she simply tells me that I am too old-fashioned.


#5

Some initial questions:

–how involved in her life have you been up til now? There are godfathers, and then there are godfathers… It is possible that you have had regular, ongoing discussions about the sacraments & living a Catholic life; it is also possible that this is the first time she is hearing your opinion on such matters.

–Why did you choose to email & not give her a call, a the very least, or make a lunch date to stay in contact? I ask b/c I have seen in my own circle of family and friends not only how helpful email has been for staying in touch with each other but ALSO how destructive and hurtful it has been when people substitute it for discussions that would be much better received in person or over the phone, even if they would be more difficult to initiate.

Whatever your answers are, I think I would suggest that you give her a call & say, “Sweetie, I was thinking about the email I sent you & really wanted to follow up in person. Can we chat?” You’ve seen, I’m sure, in your time on CAF how twisted and misunderstood topics can become, due entirely to their complexity, the state of mind of the writer, the reader, and the word choice.

(Just for clarity, this is all written with an encouraging, friendly tone!:slight_smile: )


#6

:hmmm: Interesting.

Thanks for answering my questions.

Again, I think that you did the right thing, but it may fall on deaf ears. Sadly. Keep the faith and keep close to God on this one. I will keep you in my prayers!


#7

Why did you choose to email & not give her a call, a the very least, or make a lunch date to stay in contact? I ask b/c I have seen in my own circle of family and friends not only how helpful email has been for staying in touch with each other but ALSO how destructive and hurtful it has been when people substitute it for discussions that would be much better received in person or over the phone, even if they would be more difficult to initiate

I chose to email her rather than call her because I don’t have her phone number and she lives 1500 miles away from us. The only time I see her is holidays when she returns home, but we email back and forth more than that. I am hoping all will be well.


#8

I hope so, too. The email may be fine & well received. But keep in mind that you may indeed be 100% right regarding the Sacrament of Marriage (which you are) but have dealt a fatal blow to the relationship.
Couldn’t your sister give you her phone #?
Just be prepared for a less-than-favorable response to the email, and plan how you will then respond. Good luck!:slight_smile:


#9

What’s so old fashioned about being married in a church? :shrug: Even people with secular leanings do it!


#10

Wow, I wish I had a godfather like that!!! I don’t think mine is even Catholic. :frowning: I’m not sure why my parents chose him, I think because he is in the family.

You did the right thing! :thumbsup: Hopefully she will have a change of heart.


#11

Regardless if she writes you back or not, as 1ke said, you fulfilled your obligation as a Godparent and are attempting to keep her on the path of the faith journey, which you made an oath to do at her baptism.

You are a wonderful defender of the faith. I only hope her parents are echoing your same refrain. Perhaps there is still time but regardless you did what your are duty bound to do and say.

Good for you and prayers to her and her family.


#12

No answer yet, and it’s been five days.:frowning:


#13

Call her.

Catholig


#14

Maybe she isn’t really religious. What is important to you isn’t important to her. Anything is possible.


#15

Left two voicemails.


#16

Yeah, but it’s his responsibility as her Godfather.

Catholig


#17

Well, the wedding is next week…and she still settled for a destination wedding, and as result of our very brief discussion on her behalf, she told me inexplicably…do not come to my wedding. I wrote her back and told her, that won’t stop me from praying for her.


#18

And I would let it be in the hands of the HS now. Voice mail and an email are fabulous - but if you keep calling, I would consider you a nuisance and would refuse to call back ( if it were me).

You have made your point - and I believe you did the correct thing as her GP.

She is doing the destination wedding thing because it is beautiful and trendy and romantic, which we know are all the wrong reasons. BUT society and that age group have been seduced by all things lovely and romantic at the cost of their faith.

You are not old fashioned.

I’ll tell ya, I am getting married in a few months. I am 43. Every single non-family member I encounter, Catholic I may add, has asked why I am not doing a destination wedding.

Sad - when I tell them I must get married in a church, they laugh and scoff. Ahhh…the church - stupid and inflexible rules.

I pray your GD hears that tiny voice calling her.


#19

What does ‘destination wedding’ mean?


#20

Getting married in a vacation spot…cruise ship, island setting, beach.


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