Keeping Friendships

Usually a common response to when someone feels a friend is attacking their faith or challenging it is to leave them. According to the Bible, under what grounds should we ever leave a friendship? How do you love your enemies? It can be a difficult situation if you get offended for some people they’ll see it as a weakness or you cannot accept/tolerate differing opinions. In all honesty it can be exhausting dealing with a critical, opinionated person. These people can wonderfully push you to be better or challenge you to see the world differently or teach to be more thick skinned. At the same time, it’s emotionally taxing to have a friend who is commenting and calling you out every single time you make an error. It can feel impossible to avoiding taking their statements not to heart.

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It’s been years now that you have been posting about this…you need to let it go. Break off the friendship, or get counseling to deal with the people in your life that cause you such distress.

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I agree with IrishMom.

Remember, you don’t have to stay friends with people who treat you badly. And you don’t have to just passively accept their criticism, either. You can tell them to back off, or that it hurt your feelings. If they dismiss that, or laugh at it, then they are not your friends, full stop.

You have personal agency. Use it.

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I didn’t think you should cut off a friendship if they are critical and brutally honest but right. Isn’t being right more important than hurting someone’s feelings?

May sound naive. I had no clue how I felt about things mattered. I’m getting counseling now about. I keep thinking when I will ever get better. Is this my fate?

It’s good you’re getting counseling.

Your “fate” is whatever you make it. You control it, you decide where you go.

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I could not agree more. I have similar issues and struggles. And quite frankly, I’m growing tired of this need/goal to be perfect and loving. But perhaps, I’m just having a bad week. lol

I have no clue what it means to be loving. And I have no clue how to handle jerk friends. Perhaps just pray for them and wish only well for them. But that doesn’t mean you have to remain friends with them.

Believe it or not, this is a wonderful response. I don’t know how to let it go or forgive or how to deal with rejection

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That’s what your counselling will be able to help you with.

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The devil loves it when we write off friends, for seemingly good intentions!

Agree…with your points. Maybe double the prayer and sacrifice for your friends, and halve the beer or coffee time, but keep the bridge intact, and frustrate the devil with your clever two pronged approach, done with great cheerfuless, confidence (in the Holy Spirit), and heroic patience.

It’s a hard one.

I am praying about this friend of mine who thinks my position on Life is too radical…I don’t want to write off my friend…I’ve been friends with him for 30 years. Our Lord and a saint have been given the task to find a way for me to keep the bridges intact.

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I completely relate. Perhaps it boils down to caring less. I know it’s not the most Christian way to handle it, nor am I sounding like a “good” Catholic by saying that. But sometimes trying to be a good “Christian” or more Christ-like turns into being overly nice instead, which is a mistake. It depends on a person’s mental default. If a person tends toward anxiety or OCD-like tendencies or is a pushover, it can certainly become a form of self-abuse. I’m not saying to walk away from Christ. Not by any means. There’s a big difference between being a good person and being “nice”. Nice gets us nowhere.

NOOOOOOOOO
Charity in all things.
Are you the one who is the “right fighter?”
If so. stop it… immediately.

Proverbs 22:24

Make no friendship
with an angry man;
and with a furious man
thou shalt not go:

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Emotional reasons are not substantial enough to cut off a friendship. What I perceive as too critical may simply be a honest outspoken individual. When should you trust or listen to how you feel?

I don’t know when I should or shouldn’t listen to how I feel. That’s why I cycle or cannot make a choice. There are consequences for each choice. Does that make conscientious or a coward? Am I vain or insecure?
What I perceive as critical may just be an honest person. How will I know of and when I’m right for feeling the way I do?

Discuss it with your counselor. They will be able to help you.

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The best advice you will get. This is not a religious matter or something that you should be discussing on some internet forum with a bunch of strangers. In fact, it might be a good idea to give the internet a rest for a while. It’s not helping.

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