I am currently a junior in high school, and for the longest time I felt like I was called to be a priest. I always had dreams of saying Mass at the altar, and it always set my heart on fire. I wanted to do that. In the past few months, I began reexamining my thoughts and state of mind since junior year is the year that most people start thinking about post-secondary education and then what comes after that, and at this point I feel like I should keep my options open. I wanted to go to seminary right after high school, but now I feel like I want to go to college first (local, so I’ll travel between home and there, and then work in between), and then maybe enter seminary after college. I feel like this is a radical change from what I originally wanted to do (go right after high school). I used not to be open about other ways of life I could be in such as married life, single life, etc. I used to always be set in the “I want to be a priest, and no one can change that” mindset. Over the past few months, I felt like that has changed, and now I want to see what happens.
I spent some time in front of the Blessed Sacrament, and I felt like Jesus was telling me that he wants me to be a priest, and I feel like I should go to college first, but at the same time I feel like my putting it off is a result of my fear. I used to be all for going in after high school, but now I feel like Peter in the boat, “Lord, depart from me because I am a sinful man.” I feel like I am unworthy, and I am, but I feel like I just couldn’t be a priest even though I feel like that’s what I am called to do through my many times in adoration. All in all, at this point I am keeping my options open. Maybe I’m just hearing voices. I don’t know. Am I doing the right thing?