I (a single man) came back to Church about a year ago (not yet Confirmed but received during unsaid communion several months ago).
I came into Church by myself and enjoy praying by myself especially in a quiet Church
I am uneasy with people but have no trouble - and receive peace and joy from - coming in any praying even in a packed Church as long as i am just a member of the congregation
I have the occasional SSA thought (not actions though it is said to "lust" is a sin too - all i believe to be True, i practice chastity), no one knows not even my friends - except our elederly priest who i confessed (hopefuly) everything that i could think of and regularly attend confession (well more often than most in our Church).
I feel all i can manage sometimes/often is to just to come in quietly to talk to God / confess my sins etc i even come in during the week when i can fit it in
People have noticed me though (obviously the more you go the more people remember you) , from the start a very devout and elderly lady approached me and offered to be my sponsor and has got to inviting me regularly for dinners etc .... the trouble is she keeps saying things like "i think our Lord has plans for you" and to me she is like a Saint!!! She has even called me a Saint!!!! Little does she know....
My SSA secrecy gets to me at time - it's like the more i get to know someone the more i feel guilty / a bit of a fraud in keeping this secret, and feel if i was open from the start often this friend would have avoided/shuned me (The SSA would NOT be a problem for me if i could trust people as much as i trust God, but i have found some people to be fickle they often have confused thoughts about issues such as SSA - which is scary!!!)
Peter said to Jesus ... when Jesus asked him if he believes , Peter responded something like .... But who can i turn to / Where else can i go? this phrase keeps coming to mind, it's what I keep think on the way to Church
Please pray for the faithful who battle with this disorder and attempt to live Chaste lives that they may not feel threatened or isolated - Thank You:)