Public announcer: “Ladies and gentleman, will you please welcome the next senator of the great state of Michigan, Kid ‘motherf—ing’ Rock.”
Kid Rock: “Well, well what a crowd. [Louder] I said well, well what a crowd. What’s going on the in the world today? Seems the government wants to give everyone health insurance but wants us all to pay. [Cheers from the crowd]
And to be very frank, I really don’t have a problem with that, since God has blessed me and made my pockets fat. But redistribution of wealth seems more like their plan. And I don’t believe you should save, sacrifice, do things by the book and then have to take care of some deadbeat, milking the system, lazy a– motherf—ing man.
Now, the issue of struggling single parents is an issue close to my heart. But read my lips: We should not reward those who can’t even take care of themselves but keep having kid after f—ing kid. [Cheers]
Of course, of course we should help them out. I don’t want to stand here and sound like a jerk. But let’s help ’em out with child care, job training and find them a f—ing place to work. And you deadbeat dads, who refuse to be a man, who refuse to be there for their sons and raise them up to be good men. You no good derelict sperm donors wannabes. I say lock all you a–holes up and throw away the f–king keys.
It’s no secret we’re divided and we all should take some blame, and we all should be ashamed because we all seem scared to call him by his name [pointing to a picture of Jesus]. So please, almighty Jesus, if you’re looking down on us tonight, please guide us with your wisdom and give us strength to fight. To fight the tyrant evils that lurk here and abroad and remind us all we are just one nation under God.
And I do believe it to be self evident, that we’re all created equal. I said it once, I’ll scream it again: I love black people. And I love white people, too. But neither as much as I love red, white and blue.
And if Kid Rock said it, it’s got some folks in disarray, wait ’til you hear Kid Rock for the President of the USA. Cause wouldn’t it be a sight to see, President Kid Rock in Washington DC. Standing on the desk in the Oval Office like a G. Holding my dick ready to address the whole country.
I’d look them straight in the eyes, the eyes of the nation live on TV, and I’d say to them, ‘You ever met a motherf—er quite like me?’”