[quote="krblaze, post:19, topic:202780"]
Yes, I do have a lawyer, and have consulted him. As you probably know, they do what the client requests, without guarantee of the outcome. So, around we go.
I have sole physical custody, and have been more than accomodating with visitation. My husband has already introduced our sons to his girlfriend, which I felt was inappropriate at best, but made the choice that was not a battle I should fight, despite the fact that we are still married. *However, I have to agree with Susan Mary that "souls are at risk" and that I "must instill good morals now" when it comes to overnights with the girlfriend. * Granted, it may turn out in the end that it is something I just have to deal with, but I feel strongly that I have to do what I can to prevent it.
As far as "get over it" being harsh, but truthful - that may be where I end up, but I am not willing to accept it at this point. I am not willing to sacrifice my kids values, character and morals without a fight, if that's what it takes, so that my life is easier. As far as it being expensive, very true, However, I can think of few other things I would rather spend my money on than my kids and protecting them.
Steven Francis - I did just say "no" to their dad, and he didn't care. He said he would come and take them anyway - which I believe. About a week ago, I agreed to let him have visitation regardless of the fact that it was my weekend, because he wanted to have a birthday party for my son (and no, I don't know why he didn't plan it for his own weekend). I just asked that he bring them home no later than 10pm - which I think is very reasonable for a 4 year old and an almost 7 year old. However, around 6:30, he called and asked to keep them overnight. When I disagreed, he refused to return them anyway. After him telling me I will "see the kids tomorrow when I return them" 3 or 4 times, we (my parents and I) drove over to his house and retreived the kids. I do believe that was just the beginning.
Lastly, I can't remember who posted about the annulment - but yes, there are other mitigating factors, which I think are best left out of this discussion.
Thank you all for your insight and opinions. I have prayed a great deal about this, asking God to guide me. He has spoken to me, and I am confident (not in the outcome, but in my choices).
Other opinions are always welcome :)
Thanks for your reply. I really appreciate it when OPs respond and acknowledge the input they requested!
It sounds like you have an unreasonable husband who may fight you at every turn just for the fun of it. If so, I am truly sorry for you and the battles you may have ahead. However, it sounds like you have a smart approach by deciding to pick your battles. I would add that picking those you are pretty sure to win is usually the best. Losing battle after battle may only encourage him to keep fighting you.
I bolded the statement above because I just wanted to say (and I'm sure you know) that it is not a given that you must protect your children from witnessing immoral behavior to instill good moral values. Only you can decide if the good of fighting with their father about it is likely to outweigh the bad.
Let me just raise a question or two as food for thought. At their ages, is the sleeping together very high on their radar screen of questionable behavior? At 7, my son would have been pretty clueless about the moral implications (it was a different more innocent era) but I don't know how much your kids know about the "facts" of life. Could making an issue of it now end up exposing them to knowledge about sex and adult behavior they are overlooking and would be better off not dealing with right now? And maybe later, it won't be an issue any longer (ex remarries)?
I am also pragmatic. If there is any chance the girlfriend will be raising your children along with your ex, it is not wise to make her an enemy. Is there any chance of enlisting her help?