Kissing and teens

Is it ok for teenagers (older ones, juniors and seniors in hs) to kiss provided it is not heavy/lustful? this is not a case of a simple crush, this is a girl I have seriously liked for almost two years now…

Edit: yes I know it still counts as a crush, but it’s not like I’m going around kissin any girl that strikes my fancy

Most have kissed before being juniors or seniors…more than just a “little peck”

It depends.

If there is a serious, healthy relationship rooted solely in discerning the possibility of matrimony in the future (as all dating should be), then of course kissing will occur. Ideally it would not, if we were to honor virginhood the way a saint should, but it always happens. It is a most natural expression of love.

But someone you just like? No way. That is no way to enter a relationship. Get to know the person first. Build respect and friendship before passion and lust. A true relationship is rooted on the higher values. The Holy Spirit in the Canticle of Canticles speaks of a friend and a sister before speaking of a spouse and a beloved.

Once you are seriously dating someone, kissing every so often will be quite natural. :shrug: If it leads either to temptation or is too “heavy” (:o) just speak to your confessor for advice. And mind you, focus on praying together. My honest advice: don’t even mind dating someone with whom there isn’t a solid common ground on matters of faith. It tends to lead to disaster. If you are both Catholic, then go to Mass together, go to Adoration together, and the Lord will help your discernment.

Don’t just date for the sake of it. Some of us are called to consecrated life, others to generous single life. Don’t assume you need to date to be “normal”, or anything of that sort. You date because you experience the desire for a companion with the idea of one day having a family. To date solely because someone’s pretty is a vain, worldly way to live God’s calling (though beauty does play a natural role, since it is subjective - what is beautiful to you may not be beautiful to another).

I do not think it is wrong to kiss. (If it stay on that level.) Maybe I am not as prude I should be, but my life has teach me to be more realistic and forgiving then I should, but we can’t live on seeking all sins that are lurking in the corners. That is not a real life. We can enjoy life and still not sin. It is possible, and once again, “the innocent may throw the first stone”. We are so eager to be holy that we forget to live. As long as we don’t sin we are OK, and in my book hypocrite behavior is a sin.

While you are discerning your vocation, it may conceivably be a “near occasion to sin”, in that kissing may conceivably lead further, to actual sin (fornication). But for the kissing itself, I believe it not to be sinful, even in the context of “dating” as popularly understood - as divorced from “courtship” (dating for the purpose of marriage after the discernment of a vocation [after all, how can one date with an eye to marriage, if they are discerning their vocation, and may not marry?], which some Catholics less fundamentalist than myself, even, believe is the only acceptable form of romantic activity) - with neither activity being inherently sinful, although both being possible near occasions to sin.

A near occasion to sin is no more of a sin than the concupiscence or sin-nature that remains after baptism is itself sinful; it is inclined to sin, but not in sin (at that instant). A sin’s sinfulness is imputed to the sinner only when it is acted upon or actualized; not when it is thought about, and merely a potentiality.

Now, a word by way of my personal opinion, myself speaking it: It seems to me, that the less the kissing is contextualized in to a romantic relationship of some sort, the more likely it is to be sinful, I believe, as also it is more likely to be a direct prelude (not so much a near occasion) to sin, as in the one-night stand.

OK, that is true. Alas, it mean that I have sinned more then once, and never really thought about it. That lead us to the fact that I have never confess those sins, I kept on sinning a number of years, actually from 1975 to 1985, I did marry 1985, and that with a woman who was divorced. And this is important for me to mention, I have always known that God is a very real thing, and sometimes around 1982-83 I started to live as The RCC teach, except for sex before marriage, (not to mention sex before I did meet my now x-wife) and shortly after my divorce I did have two short affairs with two girls, well, I was 34 so I guess we can say woman, not girl, in both cases) with mean that my “sinful” and “wicked” life did continue to 1996. I never did confess theese things, but I told the priest about them. He maybe did not do anything about it because I was not Catholic then? And let us add masturbation to this, only to be honest to you guys. How bad is my situtation? Now I live by the “book” and confess regulary, and I am to tired to sin anymore and I don’t even want to, but do I have to confess everything from 1975 to 1996? My priest will come from coffee on friday next week so I could do it then. (I did convert 2002)
PS: I know this is off topic but I think this can be useful in this thread.

All mortal sins since baptism must be confessed. If you were ignorant of this fact, you probably will not be culpable for receiving communion in a state of mortal sin, but I would confess the receiving of communion as well as all past mortal sins [since baptism] you have failed to confess. Definitely do so before receiving again.

sure. have fun. don’t overthink this.

Woah there, that’s not right. If he’s been to confession since 1996 (He converted in 2002, so that’s a yes) then ALL sins, with the exception of those knowingly not confessed to the priest deliberately, are forgiven as well. He does not have to confess everything from 1975 to 1996 AGAIN. Not to mention if he’s a convert to the faith (And therefore baptized in 2002) then all of those sins would be forgiven at baptism. You can’t convert to Catholicism and then not be able to receive communion because of sins you committed before your conversion, that’s just not possible.

Short answer, Lasting Faith NO you don’t have to confess all of those sins from 1975 to 1996.

Baloo: I meant that all mortal sins had to be confessed exactly once. It was my understanding from his post that he had not confessed certain sins.

However, I apologize. I was baptized Methodist as a kid and I just converted last year, meaning I had to confess all sins since baptism. I forgot that most converted people are baptized upon conversion, and yes, all sins before baptism are automatically wiped away and forgiven. That was my mistake.

Just to be an annoying pedant: actually, you can. Look at remarried divorcees (people living in a state of persistent fornication) entering the Church, although, admittedly, that does have a continuing component, in that the divorcee can remain celibate and receive.

Also those who have been baptized in a Trinitarian Protestant religion must have a First Confession where they Confess all their sins before Confirmation.

No, this is incorrect, as all marriages performed outside the Catholic church are deemed invalid by the Church and not recognized as the sacrament of marriage, which can only be performed in the Church. Therefore a divorcee who was married and re-married outside of the Church would not be in a state of mortal sin when they entered the Church as they would have to, like SMGS said, either be baptized or go to confession beforehand. So your theoretical situation at-hand isn’t possible…it isn’t possible for a convert to enter the church in a state of Mortal sin.

If you had never been baptized before your conversion, then the baptism removed all those sins.

If you had been previously baptized, then you should have confessed them, but apparently didn’t due to ignorance-- which actually should have been addressed during the conversion process.

These sins will have been forgven along with all those you confessed IF the reason you did not confess them was that you were ignorant of the need to. People who *deliberately *leave out mortal sins commit another sin, and invalidate that confession and all future confessions until they confess the sin(s) they have been leaving out *and *the sin of omitting it.

This is inaccurate. It is only if a Catholic gets married outside the Church with no dispensation that it is (almost) automatically considered invalid.

Therefore a divorcee who was married and re-married outside of the Church would not be in a state of mortal sin when they entered the Church as they would have to, like SMGS said, either be baptized or go to confession beforehand. So your theoretical situation at-hand isn’t possible…

Not at all the case. Totally inaccurate.

it isn’t possible for a convert to enter the church in a state of Mortal sin.

This is correct, as a baptized person is required to confess, and an unbaptized person will have their sins wiped away in Baptism.

However, if 2 Protestants are married and one was previously married and that spiuse is still living, the first marriage would need to be investigated. If it were valid, the converting couple would be unable to enter the Church if they were cohabitating.

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