Kissing on the 3rd date?


#1

Not talking about on the mouth, just on the cheek. Is that OK for the 3rd date? I guess in some cultures, it's not even considered romantic, but just as a form of greeting. Should be OK, right?


#2

If you don’t mind answering, how old are you and the lady you’re interested in? Are you and she committed to a chaste relationship with each other?


#3

Seriously?


#4

[quote="bkayw, post:2, topic:213716"]
If you don't mind answering, how old are you and the lady you're interested in? Are you and she committed to a chaste relationship with each other?

[/quote]

We're both adults (years post-college) and practicing Catholics.


#5

More typical for post college young adults, in the secular dating world, would have the third date to be for an overnighter.

An overnighter is not necessary, but for goodness sake, kiss the girl, or she might think you don’t like her.


#6

I think you need to look at whether or not the kissing is getting you to the point where you are having issues with leaving at the kissing on the cheek so to speak - if the intent with kissing the girl on the cheek is to try to take it further or to try to cause sexual temptation than that behavior is not good. If it is not doing those things and it is meant to show affection for a girl than it is probably alright. God bless you for worrying about your chastity in your relationship.


#7

Kissing shouldn't really be on the agenda at this point. Hopefully you are both dating toward a goal of marriage. If it is clear that you are not headed that way, why bother continuing? If it is clear this is the one and she shows the same seriousness, a peck on the cheek or a little hand holding is fine.


#8

I don't really think that you can make hard rules about this sort of thing.


#9

[quote="Lutheranteach, post:3, topic:213716"]
Seriously?

[/quote]

:thumbsup:


#10

A kiss on the cheek is a very common FRIENDLY exchange. There is seemingly NOTHING sexual about it. That's in my neck of the woods, anyway! Hugs too!


#11

What Majickman said.

Dude, you gotta kiss her at some point or else she will decide you are not interested.


#12

OK, so this is free advice and worth every penny you paid for it, and it’s not coming from Mr. Relationship Success or anything… but it’s the third date and you’re only aiming for the cheek? Really? What is that supposed to tell her?

I’m not saying to try and fornicate with her (in fact, I insist that you don’t), but a kiss on the cheek is a friend gesture. You’re not aiming to be her girlfriend. You’re aiming to be her boyfriend. As in a male.

Others may disagree, and they may (and probably do) know better than me. I don’t think chastity means acting like a eunuch. If you would consider marrying this girl, I think kiss her on the lips. If she would consider marrying you, I think she’ll stand for it.

Important (well, if you follow this advice, anyway): no tongue. But you weren’t going there anyway. Also, close your eyes. Eye status is like a reverse prisoner’s dilemma.

Anyway, pray about it and you’ll probably make the right move. And if you don’t, if she’s worthy of you she’ll understand.


#13

[quote="ThereIsThisGirl, post:1, topic:213716"]
Not talking about on the mouth, just on the cheek. Is that OK for the 3rd date? I guess in some cultures, it's not even considered romantic, but just as a form of greeting. Should be OK, right?

[/quote]

I kiss guys on the cheek all the time.* If it feels appropriate, do it and don't worry about it being a sin.

I am a guy, FYI. I'm not gay. It's usually more in a Kiss of Peace/Christian brotherhood context.


#14

Kiss on the cheek is acceptable on the first date in my opinion. It's very innocent and sweet as long as you're not a creeper and you know your feelings are reciprocated. If things are going well go for the hand hold as well.


#15

Should've kissed her sooner.


#16

Considering my husband first kissed me on our third date, I'd say go for it (and it wasn't on the cheek either!). In fact, I let him know later that I was hoping he was going to kiss me on our second date! I was just a bit smitten :heart:


#17

You know, it may also depend on how long you’ve known this individual. A third date after knowing each other for a year, is different than a 3rd date… and someone you met 3 weeks ago.

I’m married… so the dating thing is long gone. But I can assure you, I’d NOT be out on a date for a 3rd time if I didn’t dig him a little bit… :wink:

Seriously, I’d find my hair needing a deep conditioning on Friday night!


#18

Yeah, third date used to be my “rule” when dating secular women. I would have to evaluate the kiss situation on a case by case basis these days. As a matter of fact, I was on a date this past Sunday. This was date number four and we had been talking for two months (there was some distance involved). Anyway, I was planning to go in for the kiss on that date but I just didn’t get a good vibe by the end of the night. Sure enough I was politely rejected Monday afternoon over the phone. Oh how I hate when things work this way. Hope you have better luck than me.

I say go for it.


#19

[quote="ThereIsThisGirl, post:1, topic:213716"]
I guess in some cultures, it's not even considered romantic, but just as a form of greeting. Should be OK, right?

[/quote]

I've kissed my boss on the cheek, and my female employees back in the corporate world, and even my students now that I'm back in academia. For Hispanics, it's their way of shaking hands. I'd've been rude not to. Somehow, though, I'm guessing this girl isn't a Latina, so the usual rules apply. Kiss her when you think she wants to be kissed.


#20

Glad to see you back in the world after last night’s conversation kib- LOL.:thumbsup:


DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.