Kittery's Update


#1

TIME had asked me how things were going in the NFP thread, so I thought I’d post an update on a new thread.

So, my husband and I had been sleeping separately since the summer and then I recently discovered lots of porn sites in the history. We’ve had lots of NFP struggles that have complicated our marriage. The porn gave me a wake-up call, and gave me enough perspective to see that we were going down a slippery slope that I hadn’t noticed before. All the changes in our marriage up to that point had been gradual but this shook me up real quick.

So, I decided not to bring the porn up with my husband. Instead, I opted to get a little “aggressive” and made a big point to invite him back into bed with me. I chose to do this when my cycle said it was a “green light”:love: I decided to make him feel wanted and I expressed how much I missed him. And, from there, we’ll just say that this tactic has worked.:blushing: He comes to bed with me every night and is very affectionate towards me during the days/evenings too, which had almost entirely disappeared before. So I’m feeling like we’re on the right track.

There hasn’t been ANY porn in the history since then, and our relationship is in a really good place right now. I honestly believe, as some on this forum said, that he was stuffing his feelings for me down and/or feeling rejected by me. I was feeling rejected by him in turn, and had withdrawn from him- emotionally and sexually.

Thanks to everyone who gave me sound advice, shared their own experiences, and offered a listening ear. I’m glad I’m here.:smiley:


#2

:extrahappy: :extrahappy:

Thanks for the update and congrats on that! I’m so happy for you guys!

Hurray! Way to go Kittery!


#3

Kittery,

As someone who had, in the past, “been there”, I am delighted for you! Perhaps this newfound (or regained) closeness will open the door to some real, heartfelt communication about NFP, intimacy issues, frustrations, etc.

Blessings!


#4

:wave: Hey, PM! Thanks for the prayers and the thoughts you put into our situation. It’s really helpful to hear from someone who shares and knows what these struggles are like. Your diligence and devotion is an inspiration to me; you’ve been on a long and rocky journey my friend. Know that I do pray for you and your wife often.:gopray2: God bless you and your family!


#5

**It’s really refreshing to see good news about marriage/sex when most of us only post about a problem. It is so great that you could recognize your role in the breakdown, especially since it would have been very easy to put all the blame on your husband and porn. You are an inspiration to me and I’m sure many others!

Malia**


#6

Kittery, ", I opted to get a little “aggressive” and made a big point to invite him back into bed with me. I chose to do this when my cycle said it was a “green light” :love: I decided to make him feel wanted and I expressed how much I missed him. And, from there, we’ll just say that this tactic has worked.:blushing:…That a Girl!:thumbsup:

Also take a look at this thread in Family Life Forum, “Marriage & Intimate Relations - Husband Denied” I thought it had some good insight.

All His blessing to you and your family.


#7

Cool Kittery! I like how you took things into your own hands. Glad to hear of success. Hope the good times continue. Of course there will be ups and downs.


#8

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