Knights of Columbus

Several weeks ago I had posted my question about my marriage not being accepted by the Catholic church since it wasn’t done in the church by a priest and joining the Knights of Columbus. I was told here that I cannot join as they will not accept me as a member.

I spoke with a Knight that holds a position as an officer if I remember correctly and he said that they would happy to have me as a member and that as long as I am a practicing Catholic that is all that matters.

So I have an application and will hand it in next week.

The term they use is “practical Catholic”; not “practicing Catholic.”

You are correct, my mistake. It does say that practical means practicing in parenthesis.

I was under the impression that to be a practicing Catholic, you had to have your marriage corrected and able to recieve the Sacraments. God Bless. Memaw

I asked, and my OP is the answer that I received.

My wife is still not wanting to get our marriage con-validated at this time. So it is out of my control. I cannot force my wife to allow our marriage to be con-validated. So currently there is nothing that I can do ( I will not do a radical sanation because as I have said before, I believe that to be a betrayal of my wife).

However, I do believe that me becoming a Knight will further give my wife the confidence that I am sticking with the Catholic church, and she has said that she will follow me when she sees that I have made a commitment.

So this is only a good thing, and will lead to my wife coming back to the Catholic church and having our marriage recognized by it.

Whereas I cannot speak for the requirements of one becoming a Knight, I do know that the Knight’s is a WONDERFUL organization. My husband is a long-time, third-degree Knight. Again - I cannot speak for the Knights, but I do know there are members of his council that are not married in the Catholic Church, are divorced, etc.

What I really wanted to post here was to let you know that I applaud your efforts to model a Catholic lifestyle for your bride. Living a call to Holiness is not always easy, and I think we all need all the help we can get. The Knights of Columbus is a fantastic organization that surely helps men in their journeys.

I will pray for you and your wife so that one day you may perhaps be able to have your marriage con-validated. Having her see your faith will hopefully transform hers … just keep praying! :thumbsup:

Keep up the good pursuit towards God’s Will and His Church!!! :slight_smile:

My husband has a close relative who is a very active member of the KoC-and he is cohabiting with his girlfriend of over a decade. I can’t imagine that your situation would keep you out if they allow people who are living in sin. You are at least attempting to make your marriage valid.

What I was told before is that the Knights uphold Catholic family values, and that because I am essentially living in sin by fornicating with my wife (they said girlfriend, but she is my wife as far as I am concerned and believe God is concerned), I cannot be a member.

I see what you are saying however.

We cannot speak for whether or not individual councils of the KCs enforce their own memberships standards and requirements.

The KCs are supposed to be role models within the Catholic community, hence the requirement that those considered for membership be practicing Catholics.

So, in general, that would preclude those who are living a lifestyle that contradicts Catholic teaching-- cohabiting, irregular marriage, or other similar situations.

Some KCs take their role and responsibilities very seriously and do adhere to membership requirements. Others are glorified bar-b-que cookout and fish fry clubs.

I am a practicing Catholic, and the state of my marriage is out of my control at this point in regards to it being con-validated.

That’s a bit judgmental, is it not?

I know that this chapter is far more than what you mentioned above.

No, not judgmental at all. It is factual that some councils (I would say MOST) are very religious and serious about the faith, and others less focused on the spiritual side and are basically a social club and still others are somewhere in the middle.

I have seen all types in parishes.

I am not making a judgment about either type of KC organization. Merely stating that individual KC organizations will vary widely in how they approach membership.

I believe you are defining “practicing Catholic” somewhat differently than is intended in the KC membership, and likely differently than many here. Practicing implies that you are in regular reception of the sacraments and not in objectively grave sin.

Right now you are in an irregular marriage and are not refraining from sexual relations. That is objectively a grave situation. And I do understand the issues surrounding convalidation.

You reject radical sanation, that is your choice. But again, it is a choice and one that is actually rejecting the authority and ability of the Church to validate your marriage and heal your situation. You choose to stay in an irregular marriage instead of validating it through sanation.

But, you must recognize that there may be consequences to that, and joining the KCs may be one. None of us can say, as has already been indicated local councils may do things differently. So perhaps you will be able to join the KCs and perhaps that will have to wait until your marriage is convalidated. You will simply have to ask.

I’m curious, in your opinion, is it better that I betray my wife by doing the radical sanation?

It would not heal my marriage, it would drive it apart. That is what betrayal does.

Oh, and I have asked. The was in the OP. They said they would accept me as a member. That they understand why my marriage is, as you called it, an irregular marriage and said that I am doing right by not going for radical sanation because it would be a betrayal to my wife.

double post

I reject the idea that sanation is a betrayal of your wife. It is not a betrayal of anyone.

If it were me, I would do whatever I had to in order to cleanse my soul and resume the practice of the faith. I would tell my spouse that I had to do what I thought best and in keeping with my conscience to be reconciled with God and the Church. That I could no longer forego Confession and the Eucharist because God has to be #1 in my life.

From your other posts your wife is exerting control over you through a carefully constructed double standard of religious practice. She is free to practice her faith, but if you practice yours you are “betraying” her.

Frankly, I would call her bluff rather than walk on egg shells the rest of my life.

That is your opinion, but you are not in my marriage.

It is indeed a betrayal because she is against it. To do it, behind her back or with her knowledge is betrayal.

I also fully believe that God is aware of the situation, if he wasn’t he wouldn’t be God, and sees the heart of the matter, rather than outside appearance which only humans see.

I would like to thank you though 1ke for reminding me why I was warned against fellow shipping with other Catholics online.

Those on the internet are not close to my marriage as other people, Catholics or otherwise have no real understanding of the dynamics of my marriage and the fine details such as why something like radical sanation would be a betrayal to my wife.

That warning came from my priest when I talked with him about my marriage and what was being said on the internet.

Then you would have to consider the Church as judgmental! Right is right and wrong is wrong and thats the Truth of it. Maybe if you put God’s Will ahead of yours and your wife’s HE would see that it works out best for both of you.
I knew someone that was married out of the Church to a divorced lady and he was mad at the Church because of it. He used to say. " The Church don’t want me and I don’t want it!!" No one could reason with him, that it was his own decision that put him in that situation, not the Church’s. His children were not raised in the Church. Years later when he was dying of Cancer he wanted to be reconciled to the Church and asked for a priest. I am happy to say he was and died with the Sacraments. But look at the years of anger that could have been resolved if only he had been willing to seek an annulment for his wife. His pride would not let him do it. She had been married to a non-baptized man that was unfaithful. Sometimes we are our own worst enemy. God knows whats best for us, All of us. We can never go wrong, doing the right thing. God Bless, Memaw

I will not betray my wife by getting a radical sanation, that is final.

I have explained that my wife will follow me when she sees commitment to the church and change in me. Joining the KofC is part of that commitment.

When she does join me in the Catholic church, we will do the con-validation.

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