Knowing God's will and not being able to do it


This is my situation:

I became Catholic this Easter, and my life was filled with many graces for a long time afterwards. I was so happy and so thankful, and everything was so easy.

Now, though, I’m having a rough time. I just started a new job, my one good friend in the city where I live is leaving, and I’m very lonely. I don’t have a any friends. I have a cell phone that I basically don’t use because I have no one to talk to. I have friends at my parish, but I only see them during mass on Sunday and sometimes at brunch after mass. Other than that I have no social contacts, and I’m very shy and bad at making new friends.

I’m the type of person who needs just a few close friends to be happy, and now, without any, I’m very, very lonely, and it’s really getting to me. I’m at a point where I am basically crying every day and night at the slightest provocation, and I feel I have no peace.

I know that God tries us and lets us struggle so that we grow closer to Him. I am trying to accept the trials he’s giving me. I’m trying to focus on my new job and do it well. I want to trust Him and do His will, which I think is just endurance and greater reliance on Him for now, but it seems too hard for me. I find myself seriously doubting my faith. I’ve been praying the rosary every day and going to mass whenever I can, but it doesn’t help. All I see is this very bleak and painful future, all alone. How do you keep yourself on the right path when you are really struggling and God doesn’t seem to give you a lot of help or consolations? How do you keep yourself hopeful? I feel that I have no resources but prayer, and my prayers aren’t helping except when I’m praying. I try to think all the time of what I’m thankful for, but I still feel so sad and so unloved. I know this isn’t forever. What helps you endure?


Annie, how about getting involved at some level in the parish. You could join the choir. You’ll get to know people that way. When there’s an activity coming up, get involved. We have lots of ways to serve in our parish, and I’ll bet you do too. Do you have the Give a Meal a Month program? I’ll bet they could use some help to sort the food items and deliver them to the food pantries. You’re a teacher, so how about teaching in the school of religion? I made friends with the other teachers when we’d have our weekly meetings and classes, and we’d go out after the meetings for coffee. What about other young single teachers at your school? There may be others who are lonely and would love to find a kindered soul. I’ve made a lot of friends through scrapbooking. Most of the scrapbook stores have all day crops on the weekends. Even if you go alone, you’ll be sitting with people, and all you have to do is say, “What a darling baby!” or “How did you make that flower over there?” They’ll be happy to tell you all about it. A beginner is just what we’re all looking for…we want to tell you all about our albums and give you tips and advice. How about an excercise class or a dancing class? Maybe you could get involved with the parent teacher organization. We always went to Fridays after our meetings, and the teacher rep and the principal went along. It can take a little effort, but you can be the one to reach out. There are so many lonely people, but many of us are too shy to be the one to make the first move.


Anniegirl… In order to have a friend you NEED to be a friend… Took me a long time to figure this out. Find something at your parish to help with. Extra hands are always needed. You are in charge of your happiness, no one else can do it for you.
There just might be someone just like you looking for someone that needs a friend. You could be their light.
God’s Blessings and I will pray for you tonight.
PS Love your name… Annie. That is what I call my little sister.


I know I am just a faceless person typing on a computer, but I will be your friend, even if its only here at CAF.




I’ve joined different ministries at the church and finally after 2 years, through being with them to serve our parish and others, we have become good friends not just to hangout with but to share our thoughts, spiritual lives with each other.

Is there any group/ministries at the church that you can volunteer/join?


I’m the type of person, who needs just a few close friends to be happy, and now, without any, I’m very, very lonely, and it’s really getting to me. I’m at a point where I am basically crying every day and night at the slightest provocation, and I feel I have no peace.

Loneliness is a problem to many. You have received many good advices from this thread so far. I would say the same thing – join some group at the Parish. But on top of that, **Google **to find any “young adult” group in the area you are in. As far as I know, there are many Catholic young adult groups in different Dioceses. It may not be right next door to you, but even in 30 minutes driving distance, you can explore it. If you cannot find any Catholic young adult group, search for Protestants’ young adult groups. Find one to join. Better yet, go visit each of them and then decide which one to join. Just key in the key words “Young adult group at xxx city”, and keep on searching. You can also look for any related professional group or special interest group, such as art, writing, sports, etc… to join.

Here is a story to think about (from the book “How Big is Your God?”):

…Do you know the famous story of the boy who bought a new bicycle and rode it to see the Titanic leave port on its maiden voyage? He was so excited by the Titanic and caught up in the celebration that he forgot his new bike and went home by the bus, as he usually did. When he reached home, he realized he had left his bicycle behind. He thought, somebody must have stolen it by now.

He took a taxi back to the port, and there was his bicycle, alone on the cycle stand, and he began thanking and praising God for having taken care of it. On his way home, he passed by a church and went inside to thank God personally. When he cam out, the bike was gone.

God is not your watchman. God is not your security man. If you trust God, lock up your bike. If you trust God, lock up your house.
God is not going to do for you and me what we can do for ourselves.

How does this story relate to your current concern?

The point is God is not going to do for you and me what we can do for ourselves.

He heard your prayers, He sees your loneliness, but He is not putting some friends on your doorstep by surprise. You can pray and ask Him to guide your footstep, lead you to some good group and make some good friends. But you have to initiate the search.
Keep on searching new ways to improve your situation. Don’t give up. Do your best to enlarge your circle.

I will pray for you and God bless you!


Hi Anniegirl

I read your post and this prayer came from: Franciscan Mission Associates FRANCISCAN FRIARS into my hands two minutes later. I would like to share it with you and for others in the same boat.

**Prayer for those Living Alone **

I live alone, dear Lord, stay by my side.
In all my daily needs, please be my guide.
Grant me good health, for that I pray.
To carry on my work from day to day.
Keep pure my thoughts, me every deed,
Let me be kind and unselfish in my neighbor’s needs.
Spare me from fire, from floods, malicious tongues, from thieves, from fear, and evil ones.
If sickness or an accident me befall, then humbly, Lord, I pray, please hear my call.
And when I am feeling low or in despair,
lift up my heart and help me in my prayer.
I live alone, dear Lord, yet I have no fear,
Because I feel Your presence ever near.


What helps me endure? Christ helps me. His lonliness helps me . Knowing that he is pining with unrequited love helps me.

My situation is similar to yours. For years I received consolations from the Lord, from my friends. I was preparing to live the life of a nun. I even entered and stayed there for a few months until I had a bipolar paranoid episode that caused me to leave. I spent two years undiagnosed until I got the help I needed. But during my recovery my friends were no where to be found. One was finishing nursing school, another running a business, and the third dealing with the alcoholism of her sons. They just couldn’t be there. I had my mother and one friend who was in worse shape than I’m in to get me through the year. So how did I endure? Knowing that Christ has been there before me. Knowing that part of our life is spent in the Garden. Trusting in the Resurrection though I am living the darkness before the dawn. I have prayed for you. You might want to post in the Prayer Intentions it’s a good group that will pray for you. God Bless you as you carry your cross. Kate


There is so much good advice already here. I just will add something to it. Try to join something that will give you volunteer time on a regular basis with the same people. Catholic charities offers programs in most cities. Your parish might be fine, but very often in parishes I find that most of the volunteers are older married people. Find groups that have some young people too. It is very good to take your mind off your own problems to help others at the same times as forging friendships.

In Chicago there are parishes in the city that are mainly young people and I know they have very active social groups also, in addition to volunteer groups. Look around and have fun with it.

May God bless you in this! Oh yeah, congrats on your conversion and baptism. Welcome home!

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