This is my situation:
I became Catholic this Easter, and my life was filled with many graces for a long time afterwards. I was so happy and so thankful, and everything was so easy.
Now, though, I’m having a rough time. I just started a new job, my one good friend in the city where I live is leaving, and I’m very lonely. I don’t have a any friends. I have a cell phone that I basically don’t use because I have no one to talk to. I have friends at my parish, but I only see them during mass on Sunday and sometimes at brunch after mass. Other than that I have no social contacts, and I’m very shy and bad at making new friends.
I’m the type of person who needs just a few close friends to be happy, and now, without any, I’m very, very lonely, and it’s really getting to me. I’m at a point where I am basically crying every day and night at the slightest provocation, and I feel I have no peace.
I know that God tries us and lets us struggle so that we grow closer to Him. I am trying to accept the trials he’s giving me. I’m trying to focus on my new job and do it well. I want to trust Him and do His will, which I think is just endurance and greater reliance on Him for now, but it seems too hard for me. I find myself seriously doubting my faith. I’ve been praying the rosary every day and going to mass whenever I can, but it doesn’t help. All I see is this very bleak and painful future, all alone. How do you keep yourself on the right path when you are really struggling and God doesn’t seem to give you a lot of help or consolations? How do you keep yourself hopeful? I feel that I have no resources but prayer, and my prayers aren’t helping except when I’m praying. I try to think all the time of what I’m thankful for, but I still feel so sad and so unloved. I know this isn’t forever. What helps you endure?