How long have you known him? How much has he provided for you in your life?
How long have you known your parents? How much have they provided for you in your life?
Are you Asian? For Asians, often 3.5 isn’t great. (Don’t bash me. All my kids’ friends are Asians. I know what it’s like!)
If you’re American, well, your parents might be using that as an excuse to keep you away from someone they have observed, but don’t like very much.
And the fact your BF wants to defy them, get together anyway, pronounce you both “adults” (laugh at that in 5 years. Or even 4 years. Or 3. You’ll be amazed how differently you see life at age 20…)
You’re not adults till you’re paying for everything yourself and working and managing your life without your parents financial help or their roof over your head. They are trying to get you there without any interference from BFs who think you’re already there because BF has ulterior motives.
BF doesn’t show a lot of respect for your parents. I venture a guess his grades are not as important to him. He wants you to push back and be defiant. Red flags!
You need to know this: Real independence is not something you need to rebel to obtain. You don’t need to push back, yell, disobey or anything else to be independent. Those are the tactics of a 15 year old.
You EARN independence by letting time go by, fulfilling your responsibilities in a way that earns trust and your parents feel they can let go of the control as you show you can control yourself. It’s like teaching a baby to walk. Mom and dad hold onto baby’s hand. Baby breaks away. Baby falls down. Mom and dad aren’t trying to control baby. Mom and dad are holding baby up till they feel baby can stand and walk on her own.
If you feel conflicted, as PuzzleAnnie said, it’s because you’re being pulled between two people you feel want to control you. Your parents are doing it out of love. Your boyfriend’s motives may be murkier. How well do you really know him? BFs come and go, parents are forever. This situation can end with lots of pain and drama and mistrust or you can show your parents that you can handle higher grades, BF and work. After one semester, maybe they feel you have overextended yourself.
Also remember a son’s relationship with his parents at this age is often different than a daughter’s. Your parents are looking out for you. Remember that.
(still wondering who told kids they were adults at age 18. They’re not. They’re still morons, most of them!) :shrug: