Lack of faith when discerning

Hi Everyone:

Back in April I started a discernment process to see whether the diaconate was for me. My prayer life was abundant (probably the most intense its ever been), I talked to a priest i know and he thought it was a good idea for me and to keep praying, i felt like I was really getting a lot of signs from God this might be for me and then WHAM…i lost all focus and all motivation. I still prayed but barely half heartily, missed Mass on occasion, did not go to Confession as much as I used to and this spiritual dryness literally just happened out of nowhere. (maybe the devil just doesn’t want me being a deacon). I have had dry spells when it comes to praying but nothing ever like this. This went on for a good two or three months.

Recently I was able to get back on my feet and have begun focusing much more on my prayer life again. I am much better thank God. However, my archdiocese is having their “Inquiring Night,” about deacon formation in a few weeks. My question is do i still go to the session even though my discernment and prayer life was interrupted by this spiritual dryness? Also, is it normal to have a very intense prayer life and then just suddently do a complete 180 spiritually?

thanks very much!!

Go to the session. Nothing is set in stone.


It happens. It’s a test of faith.


Go to the session. I don’t know about you, I I have had fluctuating periods of intensity in prayer over and over throughout life. It could be a test, it could be life. It isn’t all about feelings ( I’m sure you know this). What a better way to tease it out than with others who think they are called?

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Faith isn’t a feeling. Like love, it is an act of the will. Keep saying yes, even when you feel nothing.



OP. Check out saints like Mother Teresa of Calcutta who continued to pray even though she did not have any consolations for many years. Saint John of the Cross writing Dark Night of the Soul is a classic.

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Most people will experience dryness. Many times, it’s our own fault, a result of “pulling back”. How we respond can be an important indicator, though, of our spiritual life. Did we keep trudging on? If not, how lazy did we get?

You mentioned that you missed Mass on occasion? Are you speaking of daily Mass or a Sunday Mass? Those are on two ends of the spectrum. With one, you commit no sin. With the other, the sin is mortal. When you drug your feet in going to Confession, is it a matter of confession of devotion (confessing venial sin) or did you have mortal sins you didn’t want to confess?

My point is that 1. a more serious slacking off may indicate that you ought to wait and see what happens over the long haul; but 2. no one here can help you really answer your question. You need a spiritual director to help you interpret what’s happening in your spiritual life. Had you had one when this hit, you may have handled it better.

All that being said, an inquiring session is just that. More than likely, the classes wouldn’t start until this time next year. You will probably know one way or the other by then.

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