Lack of Self-Control


As I write this, I am in mortal sin because I have no self control despite my best (or worst) efforts to control the ancient habit of masturbation.

I have been finding my way back into the Church over the course of the past month. I have tried responding to God more with true faith, I have tried learning more about my faith, tried reading the Bible more and more, tried praying more, and have been going to confession at least once a week in addition to Mass and becoming more involved with my parish, specifically the youth catechumenate – but I find that I am little more than a hypocrite.

Only this past Wednesday, two days ago, did I confess the first instance of this sin for nearly three weeks, and only today did I successfully complete my reconciliation/penance. What makes it even worse is that, just yesterday afternoon, filled with the spirit of Christ, I was on another message board and posted about the dangers of masturbation and why it’s a sin!

Not only do I not practice what I preach, but I don’t righty know why I did what I did. It was just simply so…thoughtless. I didn’t have hardly a single conscientious thought to the contrary. The thought of “God” or “Christ” or “heaven” or “hell” didn’t even occur to me, or, if it did, it didn’t seem to affect me any at all.

I’m now confused. I feel exactly the same as I did when I initially walked away from the Church: as if there’s no hope for me to be good, as if I’m only trying to be a good Catholic for all the wrong reasons, and as if I’d rather live a life of moral disobedience.

The worst news is that my next chance for confession isn’t until next Wednesday.


My dear Brother in Christ:

 While sin is a horrible thing, we cannot allow ourselves to be so discouraged by it as to divert our efforts away from the pursuit of Christ.  All have sinned, and all fall short of the Glory of God (Rom 3:23).  If the goal of sin is to drive us away from God, then what good is it to walk away from God because of our sin because we feel we are not good enough?  That is like forgoing bathing because you like to play in mud puddles.  

 Brother, I urge you not to give up hope.  Continue to strive, for it is in our struggles we are made pure.  I speak as someone who still struggles with the same issue, one who tries to serve the Church as best I can, despite my shortcomings.  I just hope the God accepts my service in spite of it all.  You owe it to the catachumens to persist.  You owe it to the Church.  You owe it to God.  
 Do not give up.  
      Derwin James


The brighter you allow the light of God to shine in your soul, the darker your shadows will appear. It stinks, but it’s the truth. Now, the question is this- are you going to focus on the shadows, or on the light?

I assume you’ve had a while to develop your masturbation habit. I also assume it’s developed over a longer period of time than the month you’ve recently spent returning to the Church. It will take time- it will be difficult- it will require you to participate with God’s grace working in your soul- but it will not be impossible.

The devil loves whispering in your ear all the lousy things you’ve done. He hopes to drown out the voice of God that way. Don’t listen, keep going to confession, keep fighting. A warrior doesn’t pack it up and go home if the enemy draws blood- and we are all called to be warriors for Christ.


Boy, that’s a tough one! But remember that God loves you more than you love yourself and He wants you to succeed even more than you do. As Fr. Corapi says, “God’s name is Mercy” and all we need to do is throw ourselves upon His mercy. He’s not going to leave His children without help. We just need to try and when we fail, ask for His help and try again.

Not that we do it ourselves; it is only by His Grace that we will eventually be winners! It sounds like you’ve found Confession to be a worthwhile thing. It absolutely is! Even though I confess the same sins over and over, I find that, with effort, prayer and the graces I receive in that sacrament, the instances of those sins diminish. Of course, the devil then kicks into overdrive and works harder to thwart whatever efforts I make. But we have to keep on.

God is not going to let His children down – AND REMEMBER, YOU ARE GOD’S CHILD. Keep up the confessions when possible, make a nightly examination of conscience and act of contrition and pour your heart out to the Lord. He listens and understands our hearts better than we do, ourselves. Sorry for rambling, but I hope something here helps.

God bless,


I was wondering how do you control it with your best efforts? Have you prayed the Rosary (whether the whole rosary or just a Hail Mary), Eucharistic Adoration, or some daily mass? I have found these the amazing weapons against lust - God will pour so much of His graces to help you.


This may sound silly, but I know of someone that had this to overcome. He put a staute of our Blessed Mother in every room where he lived. Yes even in the bathroom, shower area, tub area, car and work. Everytime he had this thought he would look at her, and that would help him.
Just a thought. Worked for him.
God’s Blessings



Although I am new to the forum I am not new to fighting for self-control. After many years of marriage I have fallen into the sin of masterbation just as many have. I have succeeded to avert sin by daily mass.

But I had a conversation the other day where someone I hardly know made very clear advances to me which took me by total surprise. Although I averted the potentual to sin by saying no to him I did not make it clear to lose my phone number. I know in my own heart that this was wrong. I further spent the afternoon indulging in fantacy with him who is not my husband. I took out my rosary and prayed until those feeling passed. Which in time it did. Was I caught unaware ? I know so but prayer helped my through. Did I feel dirt when I went to church that day? Yes I did but I will go to confession and keep trying not to sin. The battle goes on.

Pray for me to strengthen my soul against sin
Thank you all.



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