[quote="spunjalebi, post:20, topic:219524"]
Well, let's not get When Harry Met Sally philosophy here:D
Yes, a true friend has no sexual/romantic desire for you, period. And it's possible to just have friends of the opposite sex. But it progresses to something more when one of those people has feelings which are not platonic. I think we understand that.
I've had guy friends who were single and never made a pass at me:shrug:
A true friend has no sexual/romantic desire for you, period? You speak as if desire is something that can be turned off and on. It does not work that way. Rather, a person isn't ready for dating and courtship (or the seminary, for that matter) until they have the self-mastery to maintain whatever distance is necessary to keep the relationship platonic, in spite of natural human desires that might arise in either oneself or in the other person, when the relationship needs to be platonic.
That distance will include a margin for error, if you are at all wise, because desire is not a static entity. It rises and ebbs outside of marriage, just as it does inside of it. It can remain dormant for years, and then take off. Never ever ever take this "we are just friends, we have zero desire for each other" thing for granted. Oh, have people gotten some rude surprises with that myth! The surprises can be very nice, though, when everyone is in control of themselves.
After all, once you are married and/or ordained (married men who are ordained may not remarry after their wife dies), you can meet some person you did not imagine existed, and a freight train of desire can hit you. That calls for self-mastery, because simply "not having" the desire is not an immediate option. If you believe in self-mastery, you won't let yourself fall for this interior "but we fell in love" nonsense. Rather, you tell yourself "I fell in love with this wonderful person, but I'm married/ordained, so I need to keep a greater distance. I'm going to have to find my happiness in the life I've chosen, not the one that came along later." If you fall for a friend while you are both unmarried, though, you can say, "Hmm. What have we here? I never saw this coming, but this could turn out to be quite a blessing. S/he has self-control, I have self-control, we are grown-up enough to cope if it doesn't work out, we could look into this."
You can't say that a friend who falls in love with you is not a "true friend", though. That just isn't fair.