Lady at church

Don’t want to get too much into details, but basically I met this lady at church and to tell the truth, she kind of just bothers me and is a little strange. She has health issues, and lives in an assisted living (She’s in her 40s). She started calling me a lot at first, and I would answer and talk … She talks for a loong time also. I guess it was fine, but then she said something very weird about people of our nationality (Chaldean)… Except she’s half (not 100%). I don’t know word for word, but she was telling me how someone told her or she heard that Chaldeans are the chosen people and that when the world ends they will stay on earth, resurrected… Honestly I’m not exactly sure, but it was along those lines. And I got offended, even though I’m Chaldean … Because to me she’s basically saying as long as your Chaldean you’re going to go to Heaven. So, I expressed my thought, and told her that’s not true etc, and she started making this weird laughing and just kept laughing more and louder (she’s very loud by the way). It was obnoxious, and I didn’t like it. I ended the conversation and that was it. I didn’t really feel the need in talking to her over the phone or being close with her (we have nothing in common anyway).

I was ignoring her calls after that, and she still continued calling and calling, leaving me numerous voicemails. She even went to my cousin at church on Sunday (she doesn’t know her, but knows her name bc i mentioned it) to ask her what happened to me. My cousin and her mom and sister run the gift shop on Sundays, so she found her.

It’s hard to explain her and how she is, but I’m sure she’s just lonely and wants a friend. But, she’s too much.

I liked going to the church I typically go to on Saturdays alone, and now I feel like i can’t anymore bc I’ll either have to pick her up or drop her to the assisted living (she does not drive, but the place is very close to the church). Sometimes she just talks too much, and she talks loud in the church. Also, she acts strange … Like she’ll look or just stare and then smile.

Is it wrong to ignore her when she calls? I have her email, so I email sometimes instead of calling her back.

What would some of you do in this situation?

This lady could possibly have mental health issues.
Be kind and considerate— but also set limits or boundaries for your interactions.

If she is calling multiple times per day, tell her you can only respond to one of her phonecalls.
At the start of the phonecall, tell her you can only chat for “x” amount of minutes because if other things you need to do---- and then stick to it and end the call when time is up.

She is not able to pick up on your “hints”, so it is up to you to be firm in your expectations and boundaries

Very good advice!

Maybe even try to let her know that you can’t talk that much or that often. Try to get her to make it just once a week, and if she calls you more often, just say that you can’t talk right then because you’re busy. If she keeps calling after that, see if you can’t block her number or something. She sounds a bit like she may have OCD, among other things. Anyway, as has already be stated, set your limits and stick to them.

We had a man who would come to our men’s group and would tell us that Our Lady had appeared at the local dump. He had shirts made up with strange religious symbols and NASA photos of the site. He then told us that he had been thrown out of the local Anglican parish. He told us we were all damned and started to preach to us at every meeting.
My mate who runs the group wanted to get rid of him, but I dissuaded him saying if we threw him out would we be acting as Jesus would. The men’s group collapsed and no one wanted to go anywhere near him.
I saw him later at a free church breakfast for new parishioners and I had a chance to avoid him and his mentally retarded wife and child. But I thought of the Pharisee who crossed the road and went to greet him. Two hours later , knowing I was a lawyer, he finished trying to get me to take a case to the High Court against the government for insisting his child went to a special school.
I am at a complete loss as to how a christian should treat these special people whom I know God loves deeply. I feel we can’t ignore them or discard them to their loneliness, but bringing them into our groups doesn’t work either. Is all we can do is pray? As we are God’s hands it doesn’t seem enough.

Oh, Lord, I hope I never come across like that. I have my own mental issues (mental illness) and sometimes worry about stuff like that. The best I can say is, try to be friendly with them, but make sure you set solid boundries. And keep to them, because the other person may want to cross them over and over again. I know it sometimes takes me awhile to learn what’s a healthy boundry.

Go speak to someone in charge at the Anglican parish to find out, what did not work.

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