I don’t like it when anyone pressures anyone to enter the convent or seminary. I will admit that when I was in college, I had a significant other (male) and when I was doing research on convents, I received information on a monastery near his hometown. I was standing in the middle of the “commons” building when “the call” came. Talk about sheer terror! I could barely move. I honestly thought the relationship I was in was going to culminate in marriage at the end of our college careers. We had to split due to violence on his part.
I’m not even sure if I would have been accepted to the community at that time. In five years they would have been closed. When I visited them on a “nun run” and had the dubious honor of being their last retreatant, I knew when I walked onto the property that the “sheer terror” experience had been the real thing. I related this to my SD at the time, and he said he knew when he walked onto the seminary property that he had found his vocation.
Get away from the occult, go to confession, and attend some come-and-see events. The very fact that you’re rebelling against a mere suggestion makes me wonder whether or not you’re called. Although, one of the criteria for a vocation is an absolute repugnance for it.
I’ve seen many who want family and children enter religious life, and many who want religious life get married. So much so that it’s creating a pattern. Souls are your children and community are your family when you’re in religious life. Married folks need to know how to be contemplatives in the marketplace, and therefore should learn from cloistered religious – and active religious, as well.
Mrs Cloisters OP