I’ve been in a discernment process with my priest for some months. He has given me some assignments in my parish, such as being in charge of one of the Sunday Masses (starting next Sunday), and in charge of the weddings (probably starting training tomorrow). In my parish I’ve been working as a catechist for the children who will have their First Communion, and I’m often doing some of the readings at Mass.
During the discernment process, I expressed him my fear of leaving my house, in the sense that even though I already work and I have my own car, I still have everything with my family: I don’t know how to cook or how to wash my clothes.
From what I have observed, this fear is not just about these things: it’s about having to learn stuff that I don’t know how to do, and the obvious fear of making errors while learning. He gave me the option to go to live with him, since he asked the bishop his permision for this, based on what he knows of me through the process, my service at the parish, and the many times we have been together for lunch, dinner, or ministry.
I still feel kind of anxious about it, but I don’t know why the date “September 5th” doesn’t come off my mind. Yesterday I was at church for a special prayer gathering, and another priest (mine wasn’t there) started prophesizing/words of wisdom or whatever. After talking of different people who were present (and he didn’t know them, nor did he speak with my priest about any of these things), he said: “There are two guys here who are considering their path in life. They feel a calling of the Lord. The father of one of them refuses him to be a priest. The other one has doubts and fears about leaving his home. God tells both of you to trust Him. Go after Him, and He will take care of you. Don’t fear.”
Yet I feel anxious about it. Leaving home causes me enough distress, yet living with my priest, on the other hand, can make it easier, as he will be helping me more closely with that. But I was just wondering how I can start getting a “different picture,” in the sense that I will be less anxious about leaving home and deepening my discernment process with my priest?