i am a daily Communicant and try my best not to miss Mass. i attend at my parish, but on mornings i have to work, i go to the 7:00 a.m. at a different parish.
the priest at this church has received the dubious nickname of “Father Mumbles,” and has a tendency to fly through the readings and the prayers as though he has too much to do to be bothered. i used to be put out by this, and was forming a judgment on him based solely on his masses, until i sat in a couple of his Bible studies - he is truly a scary-smart, brilliant man of God, knowledgeable, witty, humble and pious.
so what gives?
why didn’t i feel that way this morning, when he brushed by the Lord’s Prayer so fast i couldn’t even keep up – i simply relented and said “Oh, Father…” not knowing if i was speaking to the priest or God…and out of nowhere, tears starting falling down my cheeks.
i feel so silly for even posting this because i don’t post often, but i needed to vent because my heart was so heavy, so burdened because we simply were not giving Jesus His due - no, we cannot hurt Him any more than we have and He has more than sacrificed Himself for us; but please God! can we not even say the Our Father with enough reverance that it has meaning, at least to the one who is praying it aloud?
the balance of mass, i was literally sobbing to myself - mind you, i am not a depressed person and it came out of nowhere - but i really attend to meet with God and He meets us right where we are; however sad i was feeling this morning, i know i experienced Mass the exact way i was meant to. it was so sad, so much less than satisfying for me, not in that i didn’t meet the Lord there, i did. i was simply very troubled by the hurriedness, by what was seemingly a very prevalent, religious spirit.
have mercy on me, Lord, a sinner.
thanks for indulging me, if you’ve made it this far.