Lessons in being 'quiet'?


So, I am often called ‘quiet’. Been that way most of my life (though I was chatty when I was very young, according to my parents)…and it’s been more or less of a problem depending on who I’m interacting with on a daily basis. I don’t see it as so much of a problem myself, but it is often misunderstood and pointed out, especially when there are very talkative people around. Some people have even said to me that they are scared of quiet people (unabomber stereotype anyone :mad:?), but I have trouble understanding myself why (since you may think you ‘know’ the outgoing person better, but he/she may be putting on a front).

For those of you out there who are ‘quiet’, do you see it as a cross or blessing (or perhaps a little bit of both)? Have you learned through it as the years have worn on? Are you discerning or have you committed to eremitism (it would be the more likely ‘religious’ call for me, since I do not feel drawn at all to the religious community life)?


I’m quiet, too, and it does sometimes make more difficult my ongoing efforts to get to know my parish community better. I have been told that people find me very difficult to read, and that this makes them uneasy. Then again, I know and accept that I am something of an oddball (a harmless one) so I am not terribly surprised or upset.

I do like people, though, so whilst occasionally I do just want to run off into the desert like Saint Anthony and be on my own, I know it wouldn’t suit me really. It would be nice to be more outgoing sometimes, but I don’t find it helpful to dwell on it.


I feel for you, thought I don’t myself have that particular issue to contend with. (Quite the opposite, unfortunately…those infrequent times when I DO get quiet, people wonder what’s wrong with me!)

I have a friend, though, who is very quiet, and people often say he is stand-offish. I found him difficult to get to know, but once I did…it was well worth the effort! Some people it just takes time, and I think, given the right circumstances, we can all hold our own in a conversation. I know I’m not at my best in a large group…I prefer to observe. But one on one or even in a small group, you often can’t get me to shut up! :o


I find that my quietness comes from not allowing my emotions to rule. I have to be at least somewhat recollected in order to allow the Spirit to lead me. I spend my quiet time listening to what The Spirit is telling me about a certain situations, people, interests, etc. I have been quiet all my life, but now I am quiet with a purpose, to hear the voice of God directing my life.


I am quiet too, but if you ask my family they would say no. People don’t understand that quiet people are normally observers the background of a picture per se. I find it a wonderful thing because it allows for more self awareness and I believe quiet people can read others better. Besides being quiet I am also introverted but if I feel passionate about something people will know :slight_smile: I imagine at times that the Blessed Mother must have been a quiet person as well as the scriptures depicts her as humbly pondering things.


You might find it useful to take a myers-briggs personality test I’m pretty sure your first letter would be ‘I’ for introvert. I’m an I as well. Introvert can be a word with social stigma attached to it, but is shouldn’t be, there are many hidden depths and qualities to an introvert that another person can gradually discover in the right settings.

Taking that kind of test can help you understand certain ways in which you function and realise that there are other people like you and it’s ok. Sometimes people who are not like you won’t understand but the more you think about it, it may help you to find strategies of dealing with that too. It can also help you to appreciate strengths that you have that others may not realise and may not have themselves.


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