I lost both my parents by the age of 17. Luckily they left me enough money to finish school. I have three uncles. All are worth millions and millions of dollars. None ever really tried to help me. I can not describe to you the feelings of abandonment I had in my 20’s. I was like a lost sheep and almost homeless at one point. I’m doing okay now in my 40’s with a wonderful wife and family. There is still this wounded kid in me. I know there are about 7 billion stories worse than mine. I feel dumb for holding on to this. I’ve forgiven them hundreds of times but the hurt little kid is still there inside. Is there a prayer anyone knows? A saint I should pray to? The holidays approach which for any of us that has lost a loved one knows it is tough.
My pain and resentment might not run as deep as yours does, but not too long ago, I took all of that to confession. I realized I had built up a nice little heap of resentments and times that I had been wronged, and I was keeping them nicely packaged in a corner of my soul. Maybe to pull out later when they would be useful - or maybe just to remember to protect myself from it happening again.
I went to confession and simply told the priest that I had a whole mess of resentment and grudges that I wanted to let go of. His reply? “Good.”
It helped me a lot.
Have you tried a devotion to the Holy Family? It seems that they could make up for your painful loss in abundance.
Praying for you.
It was gone? Poof!? Might give it a try Saturday. I’m not sure how to phrase it as a sin.
Holding grudges, etc, is a way that we keep others imprisoned. It is also harmful to ourselves. It makes us less of a person than God intended for us to be.
As far as it being gone, I imagine I could sit down and remember the things I wanted to let go. But I have no desire to do so, and I no longer have that clutter sitting right there in the doorway to my soul.
You can just confess your sin that simply-- "I have been angry and resentful of others and have held a grudge against them for events of the past…"
Pray for the grace to forgive those against whom you are holding a grudge. Remember, too, that you may forgive them but still feel hurt. Sometimes our hurt feelings don’t just go away. Earnestly pray for the ones you think should have helped you out. And then remind yourself of the strength you gained by getting where you are today in spite of everything, count your blessings, and find someone less fortunate than you to help out in some way. I think you will find that you’ll start feeling better soon after!
(Keep praying until you do!)