My ex girlfriend Olivia and I are still talking, even though we broke up in October of 2011. We were in a very long-distance relationship (Ohio- Mexico). I wanted to still be her friend because I knew it would hurt her to just break things off, and I was hoping she’d slowly realize I wasn’t the man for her and would find someone.
But that didn’t happen…over the past year and a half we’ve been OK as friends but every once in a while she’ll get upset at me if she sees me talking to someone on Facebook. And I just can’t stand that stuff.
She told me Sunday that she’s never been friends with her ex boyfriends and that she can’t be mine. I said OK. I understood. And I told her I really cared about her, and that the only thing I want is her happiness. I thought this was a sign that finally we would go our separate ways.
But then, once again, she writes me today and acts like nothing is wrong. When confronted, she told me she couldn’t stop writing me. I am in complete agony, because I don’t want to tell her once and for all to stop writing me, but on the other hand I know that she still loves me and keeps me in her world to torture herself- either in hoping for a relationship or by conjuring up all of these things I might or might not be doing.
I tried to explain to her that this is unhealthy, and that my staying with her would hurt her, because she deserves a man that loves her as much as she loves. I was with her for 2 years, I flew to Mexico five times. From the beginning I didn’t feel comfortable with her, but I was open to it because I had never been in a relationship before and thought maybe as we knew each other better I might develop some chemistry. I never did.
Even her mother wondered why we didn’t talk, lol.
This absolutely breaks my heart because she has dedicated her life to me. It is too much. Way too much for me. I have prayed and prayed and prayed for God to help her, I’ve prayed for her happiness. I spent two months doing this every day with various novenas…
I am not meant to be with anyone right now, maybe not ever, but Olivia is, I know this. But because she is 40 now she thinks she’ll never be married and most certainly won’t have children. And I feel like I’m to blame.
I just hate feeling like her happiness depends solely on me…I don’t know what to do. And I am telling you because there are no women in my life to tell, except my niece, who has no moral center and tells me just to ignore her, lol.
How can I not hurt her feelings? How can I make her see that this can’t work? How do I not devastate her? What can I do?
Thanks for your help…