Lied to my friends about sex. Feeling guilty. What should i do?

Hi all,
So tonight i did this really foolish thing. I lied to my friends about having sex with a girl i’ve told them about prior. I know, very stupid and cowardly i admit to that. I regret doing this. I feel I’ve damaged their trust. I have to admit, when one friend wanted to know details by that point i really didn’t want to talk about it, yet at the same time i felt it was too late to reverse it. So i had to push on a bit with more lies and now i feel guilty more than ever.

Now i know the first thing to do is go to confession. But should i tell my mate that I’ve lied to him? And how grave is the sin? Imho i think its mortal…

No concern for the girl you’ve lied about? You’ve damaged her too.

Of course.

And then have a conversation about personal things being personal, sex being for marriage, and that you need to change the dynamic of your friendship if it is based on trying to impress each other rather than accepting each other as-is.

And do some serious reflection on why you felt the need to make up a story rather than (a) tell the truth that you had not been intimate with the girl or (b) maintain boundaries that this is not a topic you discuss with others.

IMHO, it is serious, yes.

Thanks for the reply. Sure, i did think about the girl too no doubt. Not an excuse, but a small part on one of the reasons i lied was because they don’t know the girl personally.
Actually it goes further deeper than just mere impressions or acting like the cool guy. But thats a whole other story.
It was intentional at first but as soon as my other closer mate wanted to know i was very hesitant (internally) to talk about it but it kept snowballing.

I think your priest could direct you on whether restitution (correcting your lie) is needed during your confession. The main reason I would see for doing so is the girl’s honor.

Every word of this is simply rationalization.

Own the fact that you lied. Make it right.

Tell your parish priest in confession exactly what you told us here. He will be able to guide you about this particular situation and give you advice on what you should do.

God Bless

You did the right thing for the wrong reason my friend. It’s none of your ‘friends’ business ( I’m not even going near the moral aspects of your indiscretion) If bragging about your sins in part of your friendship, get new friends!

Your mortal sin was the out of wedlock sex…get some priorities straight.

Confess your mortal sin and amend.

And relationships that draw you away from God by lying are not good. Get new friends, start anew. Find friends that will accept you as a Christian and where you can be yourself without hiding anything.

Geesh man. Yes that’s bad. On so many levels. Your choice of friends is bad as well friends should encourage you to be better. What you did was bad. Not only should you confess it but you should tell your friends that you lied. And ask them to help you to hemorrhage honorable. That might cause some reflection on thier part too.

I’m not exactly clear about what happened. When I first read it, I thought you were saying that you had sex with the girl, but your friends kept asking you for details, so you lied and said you hadn’t had sex. If that’s the case, I really think that’s a venial sin at most. You’re friends are jerks if they sit around bragging about and encouraging using women in this way. They have no right to this information and you owe the nothing in that respect. You should get new friends. (and be more concerned about the sin of fornication)

Upon reading the comments, I see that most of the posters took your post to mean that you didn’t have sex with her but lied and said you did in order to entertain them with the destruction of some poor girl’s reputation. If that’s the case, you are as much a creep as they are and you should be less concerned about violating their trust and more concerned about the completely innocent girl whose reputation you care so little for.

Based on the Allegra interpretation…you done bad as well, maybe spend the next six months going to church on the weekends and thinking about how low you have fallen and change your ways.

On the bright side, you do feel remorse, just make sure its for the right reasons.

Yes to Confession! Follow your priest’s advice over mine, but I would say you should probably tell your friends the truth.

Next time, remember that even though they may not know her now, they could meet her at some point in the future. It’s a small world! Think how awkward it would be for you if you went out with a girl, dishonored her reputation among your friends, and down the road, you married her… or if one of your friends to whom you lied about her did.

Even if that doesn’t happen, though, you know the truth, and you want to be the kind of person who is honorable, has integrity, and can take responsibility for a mistake and try to make it right. Right? :cool:

Im equally confused about this, but Im assuming the OP is probably in their early to mid teens, and wanted to make his friends believe he had sex, and naturally if they were around the same age, they would be asking him all kinds of detailed questions a person that has not had sex, could not convincingly lie about.

I would say its not that big of a deal if there is no girl, but if there is, and the friends are aware of this girl, he needs to correct this situation, so her image is not tarnished.

Your sex life is your own. You do not have to answer to anybody. You should not have lied to your friends but why did they ask or why do they care?

Based on past threads. The OP is around twenty five and has questioned his sexuality in the past.

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