Life Has Me Confused About choosing a Vocation?


#1

Hello Again to Everyone,

Well this post will be a bit awkward. As the Topic mentions, I'm more than slightly confused about which vocation to choose. I have spoken to priests in the past, who all told me that Everyone has a vocation, whether it may be Marriage, Priesthood or whatever else.

Problem is, my life is generally unstable, my family is completely broken (except for a handful), I'm lucky to still have my mother (most family members are like strangers to each other). I'm in my early 20's and had bad experiences with relationships.

So there are few vocations for me to choose from, I would rather be alone all my life, as I think it is more peaceful than being in a relationship (I do not have the emotional strength, or nerve to tolerate a relationship, or marriage).

As a result I had spoken to priests, who advised me to either join a monastery or the priesthood. AND I did enter a couple monasteries, but due to my general ill health, I do not have the physical strength to cope with the amount of labour that is needed from me at a monastery, so I quit that vocation as well.

So here I am thinking of what to do with my life: I do not really fit anywhere, and I do agree with most of the ways of the society. I hate attending parties, or gathering as I find them too bothersome. I have no interest in sports, that is pointless to me. I do not see anything great about a man kicking a ball into a net, or throwing another into a hoop, or of another running like a horse on a racetrack, etc ,etc, etc. I have nothing to do with sports, music, or anything else that everyone does. I'm just happy being by myself. I do not care about having alot of money, or about owning a car, or anything of the sort.

My friends consider me to be a recluse, and I do not argue with them, as I barely have much to do with the world in general (except for work, shopping for necessities, late-night walks, and evenings out by myself) I occasionally go out with a couple friends, not more than that, as it is bothersome for me..

With that said, the ideal vocation for me was in the monastery, and I was very unhappy when I realised that It couldn't work out for me, because of my health issues. And as I said before, I don't have the emotional strength for a marriage either.

I'm all happy with doing my work, going to church every couple days, and just being at home, reading or writing: but sometimes I just think of what those priests told me about a vocation, and I do not really understand where I fit into that.

Has anyone here experienced something similar to this? I'd appreciate some replies.
Thanks


#2

Do you think you might be depressed?


#3

Nope not depressed. I have ups and down, but otherwise I fell completely fine and happy.


#4

Will offer prayers for you!!!


#5

Thank you!

[quote="mymamamary, post:4, topic:301278"]
Will offer prayers for you!!!

[/quote]


#6

Whether or not you become a religious/get married you are still given the vocation (ie the call) to live out a Christian life. Some are given this call in a special way through marriage or religious life, but not all are. Don't try to enter religious life just because you don't want to get married. The fact that you have health issues might just mean you are not called to religious life. However, it is something I would pray about and if you do still feel called to that life then I would keep searching, sometimes you can find places that will accept people with health issues that most religious communities wouldn't consider. Good luck with your discernment! :)


#7

I recommend reading the following catechism on vocations. It contains quotes from many Saints and was key in helping me understand what my vocation is.

lxoa.wordpress.com/2010/09/01/a-catechism-on-vocations/

Keep in mind that your vocation may not necessarly be the one that you "desire" at this point in your life nor may it align at all with your personal strengths (sometimes, it's our weaknesses that we need to work on and get better at rather then just playing to our strengths ;) ).

Also, if you haven't done so, I would definitely try asking God what your vocation is. Some people get a very clear answer to this question and others less so.

God bless, and good luck in your journey towards God!


#8

Thank you for your reply. I have not heard of such communities, but I will keep an eye open for them in the near future, I have other things to deal with at the moment. Thanks again

[quote="thewanderer, post:6, topic:301278"]
Whether or not you become a religious/get married you are still given the vocation (ie the call) to live out a Christian life. Some are given this call in a special way through marriage or religious life, but not all are. Don't try to enter religious life just because you don't want to get married. The fact that you have health issues might just mean you are not called to religious life. However, it is something I would pray about and if you do still feel called to that life then I would keep searching, sometimes you can find places that will accept people with health issues that most religious communities wouldn't consider. Good luck with your discernment! :)

[/quote]


#9

Thank you for the link, I will surely read it.

[quote="MidnightSun12, post:7, topic:301278"]
I recommend reading the following catechism on vocations. It contains quotes from many Saints and was key in helping me understand what my vocation is.

lxoa.wordpress.com/2010/09/01/a-catechism-on-vocations/

[/quote]


#10

Well, have you considered becoming like a parish priest?

It might also help to pray and then list what you like about the monastery life. That way you can see the elements of what you like. Right now from what you said, it feels like you want

a) Isolation from the world
b) Contemplative life
c) Low level of physical activity

I am not sure if you really need (a). If you take away (a), there are much more possibilities for you to consider.

I think today there is a tendency to emphasize choosing the vocation to the level of a miraculous private revelation. I feel that this is wrong though it may happen if God wants it to happen that way. But we should not seek that. He has blessed us with freedom and reason. In general, I think people should evaluate their preferences. List them down. If the preferences are morally good (for an example a longing to give oneself to a spouse) then pursue that option.

In your case, I would think you have a broad range of vocations to choose from unless you value (a) above. You could be anything from a permanent deacon to a parish priest.

Also, it might be wise to consider why you are against marrying as well. If this is because you have a greater desire to serve God, then you have nothing to worry. BUT, if it is simply a dislike for it due to the idea of relationships, it might not be healthy. We are always called to be in a family, whether it be among fellow brothers at monastery or within a married life. To simply want to be alone out of dislike for relationship in this sense can be disordered.


#11

[quote="mcw013, post:8, topic:301278"]
Thank you for your reply. I have not heard of such communities, but I will keep an eye open for them in the near future, I have other things to deal with at the moment. Thanks again

[/quote]

I do not think you will find any community advertising itself as one that will accept people with health problems, but I do know of at least two people who were refused entrance into many different convents because of health issues but who have since found convents that would take them. It will have to be a matter of trying again and again until you find one that both suits you and is willing to accept you.


#12

Not that I want total isolation, but rather alot of time alone so that the mainstream culture doesn't influence me negatively. The marrying part is mostly for god, and also because I doubt that I can find someone who I'll be compatible with. I guess the future will show me more options. Thanks

[quote="Eufrosnia, post:10, topic:301278"]
Well, have you considered becoming like a parish priest?
......
In your case, I would think you have a broad range of vocations to choose from unless you value (a) above. You could be anything from a permanent deacon to a parish priest.
.......
Also, it might be wise to consider why you are against marrying as well. If this is because you have a greater desire to serve God, then you have nothing to worry. BUT, if it is simply a dislike for it due to the idea of relationships, it might not be healthy. We are always called to be in a family, whether it be among fellow brothers at monastery or within a married life. To simply want to be alone out of dislike for relationship in this sense can be disordered.

[/quote]


#13

Obviously no one will advertise something like that. I understand what you're trying to say. Most I can do is keep my eyes open, and If I happen to find something then I'll consider myself lucky. Thanks.

[quote="thewanderer, post:11, topic:301278"]
I do not think you will find any community advertising itself as one that will accept people with health problems, but I do know of at least two people who were refused entrance into many different convents because of health issues but who have since found convents that would take them. It will have to be a matter of trying again and again until you find one that both suits you and is willing to accept you.

[/quote]


#14

[quote="mcw013, post:13, topic:301278"]
Obviously no one will advertise something like that. I understand what you're trying to say. Most I can do is keep my eyes open, and If I happen to find something then I'll consider myself lucky. Thanks.

[/quote]

Ok, I was just making sure. :)


#15

From what I have read it seems you have some strengths to play to should you so choose. You are happy alone and enjoy reading and writing. You feel called to serve God. Have you considered studying (really in depth) the faith and writing about it? You could likely accomplish this no matter the vocation God sets before you. We all have gifts we can use to better ourselves and those around us so why not put them to use? You can accomplish more in this world with a single pen than a hundred swords. With the internet you can reach out and touch people around the world.

As for the vocation. My only advice is bow to the will of the God, the road will eventually be made clear.


#16

You might look into someone like St Catherine of Siena :) she lived a life of solitude and contemplation, and then God told her to go into the world and bring souls to Him. She found it difficult to leave her life of solitude behind cause she just wanted to keep praying and not return to the world with so much sin and darkness, but she obeyed and God worked through her so much. There are others who live a life of solitude for God and are not in religious orders but they often still do things like helping the poor, etc. Maybe you could look into a third order? Also something to consider, sometimes we're not initially drawn to something but God calls us to that and changes our hearts. Or, if a person doens't want to be much around other people because of hurt from their past, God might be wanting to heal that person first. Other times people are called to the contemplative life where they are not in contact with the world but they pray for other souls. It really depends... other times, our weakness becomes our strength. So I really can't say what it would be like for you, or what your vocation is, that's something to continue discerning and maybe find a spiritual director :)

God bless!


#17

[quote="cmcgrath22, post:15, topic:301278"]
From what I have read it seems you have some strengths to play to should you so choose. You are happy alone and enjoy reading and writing. You feel called to serve God. Have you considered studying (really in depth) the faith and writing about it? You could likely accomplish this no matter the vocation God sets before you. We all have gifts we can use to better ourselves and those around us so why not put them to use? You can accomplish more in this world with a single pen than a hundred swords. With the internet you can reach out and touch people around the world.

As for the vocation. My only advice is bow to the will of the God, the road will eventually be made clear.

[/quote]

Thank you for the suggestion. I never thought about writing of things related to faith. I am not sure it will be the best option, but I will give it some thought.


#18

[quote="Monica4316, post:16, topic:301278"]
You might look into someone like St Catherine of Siena :) she lived a life of solitude and contemplation, and then God told her to go into the world and bring souls to Him.
.......
So I really can't say what it would be like for you, or what your vocation is, that's something to continue discerning and maybe find a spiritual director :)

God bless!

[/quote]

Thank you, I will definitely read up on St. Catherine. I have spoken to spiritual directors in the past, but my situation has changed since then. Also I now live in a new place, so I will try finding a director when I get an opportunity to.


#19

[quote="thewanderer, post:6, topic:301278"]
Whether or not you become a religious/get married you are still given the vocation (ie the call) to live out a Christian life. Some are given this call in a special way through marriage or religious life, but not all are. Don't try to enter religious life just because you don't want to get married. The fact that you have health issues might just mean you are not called to religious life. However, it is something I would pray about and if you do still feel called to that life then I would keep searching, sometimes you can find places that will accept people with health issues that most religious communities wouldn't consider. Good luck with your discernment! :)

[/quote]

Like one priest told me

" I dont want you to become a priest I want you to become a saint"

Pray Pray Pray & continue to grow in holiness
On the note of prayer... go to Mary, give your discernment to her :)

Find a spiritual director

Keep discerning

I will say a prayer for you

In Christ through the Immaculate Heart of Mary & in the friendship of St. Therese,
Zac

In Christ through


#20

[quote="Podo2005, post:19, topic:301278"]
Like one priest told me

" I dont want you to become a priest I want you to become a saint"

Pray Pray Pray & continue to grow in holiness
On the note of prayer... go to Mary, give your discernment to her :)
....

Keep discerning
I will say a prayer for you
.....
In Christ through

[/quote]

Thank you!


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