Life without children. so what is our vocation?

almost since we first met my husband and i have talked about religiouce life read the variouce rules investigated every order we have come across (even the more obscure ones like tridentians) , we have applied as many asspects of monastic life as a married couple can (with the exeption of celibacy) . the one driving reason that we got married , as opposed to loving each other as siblings in christ, was our beleif that raising a child in christ was a greater calling than that of the convent . now we are looking at life without children . trouble conceiving , little chance of beening granted addoption and my husbands increasing age (he is now in his 50’s) , are all making me wonder wether we made the right choice. we intend to stand by our marrage as vows are sacred and we made them in full knowlege that it ment forever . but where do we go from here? we are currently converting the childrens room into a chapple yet somehow i still feal lost.

Have you considered joining a Third Order?

Would you consider being foster parents? There is a huge need, and you have an abundance of love to give.

yes we have looked at third orders though it has been hard to find reliable information on them (specificly the ones operating in england). my husband fosterd a little girl whilst with a previouce girl friend when the mother took the girl back she forbid dh from seing polly even on a christmas /birthday basis unless dh maried her(the mother). it upset and scared dh that mutch that he is frightened of fostering again.
thankyou for your help
god bless

I know that the Carmelite Third Order is very active in the UK.
Take a look here:

I don’t know about other 3rd orders I am afraid but I am sure there are other active ones.


Do you have a Vocations Director in your diocese? If you explain your situation, even if he or she cannot help personally, they can usually put one in contact with someone who can help and someone with whom you can talk over all circumstances. Some diocese have a list of spiritual directors with telephone numbers they will send on request. I am unsure, however, if all diocese may have this sort of facility - you would need to phone your diocese and ask and if not, were it me, I would ask to speak with the Vocations Director. There would be help and advice available for sure, it’s a matter of finding out where and who and your diocesan offices should be able to point you in the right direction. Or you could speak with your parish priest and probably best by appointment. If not your parish priest, ring a religious order of priests and ask for an appointment to speak with a priest.


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