I am very curious on what would be considered perhaps “sinful” in a catholic marriage when it comes to lingerie? I guess everyone has their own opinion on this, which is understandable, but to me I think certain lingerie could be considered lustful, or maybe if used inapropriatly? What do you guys think? What are some of your opinions on what you would think on being lustful, like leading up to having sex. I may have put that in a confusing way, sorry!
For married couples, I think there’s a fine line between a healthy, Christian way of seductively leading up to the conjugal act, and deliberately provoking lustful desires.
I guess the bottom line is…
is the lingerie taking anything away from the intended predominant sense of love and unity between the couple? Is it moving the scale over to the lustful attraction side? If not, I think it’s all good. I think it’s natural (divinely designed) for a physical attraction to accompany a love-based unity…just be careful to keep the scale tilted significantly toward the latter.
I agree with what has been said thus far. Simple, elegant lingerie is fine, as is some of the more playful stuff. However, some men may develop the need for newer and novel stimuli in order to get aroused. :bigyikes: :bigyikes:This is the beginning of trouble and needs immediate attention.:stretcher: :stretcher:
One of the saddest things I often read from people in these forums is this notion that if a man gets turned on while watching his wife shower, undress, dance naked for him, whatever… that he is guilty of the sin of lust, and she is guilty of causing him to sin. The whole idea is ridiculous.
Men by nature are aroused primarily through the eyes. The other senses such as touch, sound (female voice) smell and taste (kisses) follow closely behind. But it’s amazing to me the number of people who feel guilty about this stuff when it was all God’s idea for us to enjoy these incredible pleasures (within marriage).
Watching porn movies, peeping at the neighbor lady while she showers, and deliberate sexual fantasies about the secretary at work are clearly lustful and therefore sinning. But a wife that wants to turn on her husband by dressing sexy, dancing, whatever is quite a gift!
There are good people out there who are afraid to even go on a date because they are afraid that they might feel the tingle of sexual attraction and have an “impure” thought pass through their mind. So they sit home alone night after night year after year watching Seinfeld reruns. It’s all truly sad.
Sexual arousal is a major component of a healthy marriage. I say go for it dear… Let your imagination run wild and enjoy. Your husband will be most appreciative!
Good point. As a healthy male, I understand all too well how visual stimulation works. But one look at the world reveals that some people can be aroused by some very disgusting and even harmful things. Due caution is advisable. I would say that if one of the spouses is uncomfortable with something, it should be avoided!
I think of lingirie like gift wrap. It’s really the gift that matters, but some classy wrapping paper can give it something extra As long as these lingirie matters are not needed for the husband to be interested at all, I say enjoy the blessings God has bestowed upon you I think many Catholics feel guilty about sexual desires because they were taught that these are sinful. Outside of marriage, these desires quite often lead to sin, and thus, should be avoided. However, within marriage, sex is the ultimate unitive gift. It is the celebration of the intimacy a couple shares throughout each day. It is holy. If it was not meant to be enjoyed, there are certain things that would not exist…tmi sorry.
Being a married woman, and my husband and I both being Catholic, I can tell you that I love having the lingerie on (and then of course eventually taken off) and my husband is a very happy hubby about my enjoyment of dressing up for him. When we were first married and I was still learning some of these things, I really had this Catholic guilt complex about it. Then I began reading the Song of Songs in the Bible-I never thought I would blush about something Biblical. Men may be visual but they can be just as auditory sometimes - seriously, try reading some of it with your husband or just yourself if your having some of the guilt we dealt with. Good luck but if you’re not enjoying it, chances are, your husband won’t nearly as much or at all.