I got it, no confusion. After talking with hubby, I ordered a bunch of Catholic books and CDs from the site Dorothy mentioned, and will not pursue the Be In Health site.
I am not a “novice” with healing stuff, but I have yet to heal myself (or maybe more accurate to say allow God to fully heal me). Something is yet in the way. I have forgiven all those, INCLUDING myself, who have hurt me or failed to be what I hoped/ expected/ needed. I have learned to toss away the guilt (after Confession and absolution if need be).
My friend asked an interesting question this morning. If I were at a party, is there anyone, living or dead, who I would avoid? My off the top of my head answer and my answer after reflection was no. (This indicates to me there is no one I am harboring resentment or unforgiveness towards.)
I’ve done a lot of Scripture study on healing and Christ’s healing, been to healing Masses and so on. But I really think something is in the way, yet. One poster said all illness is a result of sin. Yes, of course, and I am still a sinful person (despite frequenting confession regularly).
One non-Ccatholic Christian once told me I have a curse from 17 generations back. I don’t really know what to make of that, I know the Church accepts/ allows generational stuff like that. (Some of the books I ordered were on that.) But it seems kind of hinky to me…
I’ve had cancer for 12+ years (but am doing really well- I even finished a marathon 2 years ago). But it’s getting worse. I don’t do much with traditional medicine, and actually that choice was made even easier this summer. I went in to see what they had to say or could provide and they said they couldn’t do anything for me, I was going to die. (Well, we all are going to die sometime, but they meant soon. Well that was 6 months ago and I’m still doing well.) Actually they said the same thing 12 years ago. (I also had a baby after that diagnosis, naturally conceived, pregnancy and delivery was easy. I was 48 1/2 when my daughter was born… ; God’s in charge!)
Fear is not much of an issue for me (I know it is in many illnesses). I don’t expect (nor desire) to die soon, but I AM ready to meet my Maker, should He call me home.
Anyway, I ramble on… your prayers are certainly appreciated. (My name is Kathy.)