Living as a gay Catholic man......

It bothers me to the point of tears that Catholics today do not realize the truth and the joy contained in God’s word and in the holy teaching of the Church. There are two extremes that one can see on a daily basis in churches, politics, online forums, etc. There is the “all gays are going to hell and will feel the wrath of God Almighty, no matter their intentions.” Then there are the “being gay doesn’t change anything and we can have sex with whoever because God loves us no matter what!”
I am posting this to call upon God’s people!
To my heterosexual brothers and sisters: Please do not judge us. Many gay men and women, including myself, do not know where our desires and longings orginate from. We have no control over our sexual appetites and our lustful desires (although through the grace of God, we can try to right our wrongs and repent of our sins). We ask you to love us. We ask you to accept us! God gave us our crosses, just as he gave you yours. Please do not hate us and pass judgement on us when we bar our souls to the world and reveal what many of us have considered one of our deepest secrets. Do not throw us out into your streets, but accept us into your homes! Do not curse our kind, but look on us with the same love you would look on your other Christian brothers and sisters! Love us, this is all we ask!
To my homosexual brothers and sisters: Stop being misguided into the mistaken thought process that this world owes you something because you are different. We were delt cards, and we may not like them, or we may not like the rules by which this game is played, but we must accept it. Do not be fooled into believeing that God condones certain behaviors because they are socially acceptable. Be chaste! Be living examples of God’s holy will in your lives! God gave us our cross so that we may exemplify his love in our lives and in those lives around us!! Have courage and do not lose hope when people curse you or condemn you. We know the truths contained in God’s word!

After a bout of three years living the stereotypical “gay lifestyle”, I have found my faith and my God and reclaimed my life. I have begun living chastely in accordance with the teachings of the Church and the Word of God. I have kept contact with all my friends and aquantinces and have kept them dear to my heart. Many of my gay and lesbian friends have questioned this decision, but since have accepted and supported me. Many have also inquired into the new life that I live, and have begun the “baby steps” towards a chaste life in Christ. I just ask all this. That we live in peace with each other and learn to love, accept, forgive, and live.
Thank you for reading my rants.

As a former Catholic who also happens to be gay, I feel you. I always felt (and still feel) that my Catholic friends would reject me if I told them that I was gay, and so I never did. It’s even worse with my family - I know that they will be horrified when I finally manage to tell them. It’s a sad situation that really needs to be brought into the light, but at least we have Catholics like you who are willing to take a stand and make a difference. Great job there! :thumbsup:

As a fellow gay brother in Christ, thanks for posting this. I typically don’t comment on threads of this topic anymore, but I felt the need to encourage you on this one.:slight_smile:

God bless,


PS: I know I used it, but you may want to refrain from the “g” word in these parts. The thought police may start an inquisition the likes of which Orwell never wrote. :rolleyes:

I have friends with SSA who are living in homosexual lifestyles, with SS partners. It worries me, especially since they still attend Mass and take communion with that “God loves me, its okay, he doesn’t mind if I shag someone of the same sex as long as we’re faithful”.

Its a fine line to have to walk, we can’t be too forceful in preaching the Gospel and God’s commands because it makes us look judgemental, but we can’t be too limp wristed because it causes scandal and looks as though SSA relationships are okay.

I realised all we can do for SSA persons, as with all persons living outside of God’s laws is pray.

Good post. It is sad that we have let those on the extreme [both sides of it] dictate the converstation and ignore the true teachings of the Church. Homosexuality is a heavy cross to bear, we heterosexual Catholics should be doing more to help you carry it.

i am not gay , but I know several people that are

and I treat em no differently

the people who condemn the gays should condemn the masterbaters , pornagraphers and people who have sex for pleasure rather than in marriage for the sole purpose of having a baby

cause its all sexual sin…

anyways personally i concern myself with important matters like - feeding the poor , and saving lives and stopping abortion

Keep the Faith brother and don’t let anyone get you down - God loves you and thats all that matters

I think there are many more people in the middle than you think, they just don’t make such good headlines. Keep up the good fight.

If we all accepted the struggle to live our lives chastely none of us would “cast stones” and we would all be happier.

I’m not saying it well, but we wouldn’t need labels - gay, straight etc.

I don’t know anybody personally who bears this cross but I have reflected on this issue for the past few years. I wish I knew you (all) and could be there physically for support. I certainly don’t hate anybody who has to deal with SSA and I commend you for your bravery (in this crazy world that we live in). I do my best to stop others from cursing those with SSA while defending our Faith and I’ll keep fighting harder.

I’ll always keep all of you with SSA in my prayers.


You deserve the same respect, love and compassion as anyone else does, not judgement and condemnation. This was a wonderful post and I will hold you dearly in prayer. :crossrc:

So why would you expect to be able to reveal “to the world” what you describe as a vice, and have them accept it. And - what’s so bad about people reserving their “deepest secret” for their closest friend(s), who woud love them just the same.

Also, I know the Church considers certain people Saints who are with God, however where does it name whose destined for hell.

There has been a lack of catechesis concerning chastity and vocation for several generations now. I hope that as people continue to learn and grow in their faith, they will begin discerning their vocations and learning about and supporting each other in the practice of chastity.

Because, it should not be something to be ashamed of regardless of whether you think it is morally right or not. Many gay Christians come out to their friends and family and face rejection, ostracism, discrimination, and are kicked out of their homes by parents and their social circles by friends. This happens regardless of whether they only tell a few people or many people. No, it doesn’t happen to everyone, but even once is too many times. The answer is because in too many situations their friends and family don’t love them just the same - a very unchristian attitude, if you ask me.

To the OP and all chaste Catholics,


I guarantee that you do, even if you are unaware of it.

To the OP: God bless you for your post. There is far too much hatred in our society, and homosexuals certainly have to deal with a disproportionate share of it.

Close your eyes for a moment and picture devout Catholic parents. Imagine telling those parents that you are gay (have “SSA”) but are struggling to remain chaste.

You think those parents will accept you? Even with “I’m struggling to remain chaste” included in that statement, I will give it a coin flip, at best.

Imagine all the pain that comes from parental rejection. When we are children, we learn that that parental rejection = death. Death in a literal, biological sense.

That doesn’t go away. It doesn’t get easier when you get older. Rejection from your parents is still equivalent to an emotional death when you are an adult.

Or imagine having to “grin and bear it” while your Catholic friends tell “queer” jokes.

Or imagine that the homily rails against your particular vice monthly.

How terrifying, what a painful cross to bear.

And add to that the fact that you will be rejected by many within the gay community for being a “traitor” for trying to live out your faith.

There was a recent project designed for homosexuals entitled “It Gets Better.” I fear that this may not be the truth, that it might not get better for individuals with this problem.

Oh Lord, with every ounce of might in my body I pray: please grant strength to those struggling with this issue. May You embrace them in Your love as they work to serve you.

Dear SacredHeartFan

Wow. I read your post twice. You have wonderfully stated your position and explained your struggle so eloquently. I had to write and tell you that I could not help but admire you and your struggle greatly. You are correct; we all have our struggles and that doesn’t make us special, it makes us brothers and sisters. So, as a catholic and a fellow imperfect human being, you have my support and my prayers.

God bless you, look over you and hold you in his mercy. Holy Mary, mother of heaven and earth, please look after this soul. Keep him in your heart and guide him as he works his way back to Christ, with your intercession.


Take, O Lord, and receive my entire liberty, my memory, my understanding and my whole will. All that I am and all that I possess, Thou hast given me: I surrender it all to Thee to be disposed of according to Thy will. Give me only Thy love and Thy grace; with these I will be rich enough and will desire nothing more. Amen.


REMEMBER, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession was left unaided. Inspired with this confidence, I fly to thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother; to thee do I come; before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me. Amen

God Bless,
Martina :crossrc:

Right you are! I have done some of these things but if I said I was gay (which I’m not) people would go bonkers, even though being a chaste homosexual is better than being an unchaste heterosexual.

To the OP:
Recently my sister revealed to me that her daughter has SSA and she is a complete wreck because of it. This “issue” never struck me directly until now. Yes it was a complete shock to everyone and we have all tried to be as supportive as possible.
The fact that my niece has SSA doesn’t change my love for her at all…nor does it for any of us. She is still the same loving good person she was before any of us knew.
Like you said, we all have our individual crosses to bear. I pray that carrying yours is made easier. Your post is excellent and very thought provoking.
Yes, we are all guilty of being judgemental at some point or another, but we need to remind ourselves of the “Judge ye not lest we be judged” instructions Christ gave us.
It pains me greatly that people with SSA are subjected to discrimination and other negative attitudes of society. It’s not easy in todays world to be “different”.
Indeed, with Christ, all things are possible and He is ever aware of your struggles and loves you unconditionally.
Keep your faith and God bless you !

Being ashamed or embarassed about one’s own desires that are believed to be wrong is to be expected and it can be an important catalyst for change.

To reveal ssa to another as a part of oneself to bear with is one thing, but when a person says that’s the sum of who they are and they accept/embrace it and can you do the same, then you’re not just asking them to accept an imperfection in you, you’re asking them to accept/reject you as the sum of something they may see as immoral. If it’s announced this way, then some people might perceive that as being boxed in.

Even if it’s not, not all “deep secrets” are equal. I’d get a smaller response from telling my mother I’m a chain smoker than if I told her I’m a crack addict. I think discretion is the better part of valor, and btw, my parents would be the LAST ones I’d reveal any so-called “vice” to :eek:.

Poseiden your expression “gay Christian” - if it’s embracing ssa, they’re mutually exclusive. Do you mean to say, a Christian w/ ssa -

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