Living together but in separate bedrooms


#1

Hi I live with my fiance in my dad’s house due to financial restrictions. We are practicing Catholics and are totally in agreement with the Church’s teachings on sex and marriage. This isn’t sinful the living together bit is it:confused: ?


#2

[quote=John of Woking]Hi I live with my fiance in my dad’s house due to financial restrictions. We are practicing Catholics and are totally in agreement with the Church’s teachings on sex and marriage. This isn’t sinful the living together bit is it:confused: ?
[/quote]

Probably not, assuming:

  1. Separate bedrooms; and

  2. You do not, in the least way, give cause to anyone to suspect that you are “living together” in the sense of a mockery of marriage, thereby raising the potential of scandal;

then you have not sinned.

If the two of you lived *without * Dad in the picture, then there is a strong potential of causing scandal and it would be sinful.


#3

[quote=John of Woking]Hi I live with my fiance in my dad’s house due to financial restrictions. We are practicing Catholics and are totally in agreement with the Church’s teachings on sex and marriage. This isn’t sinful the living together bit is it:confused: ?
[/quote]

You had better make some rules for “self-chaperoning.” Don’t go into each other’s rooms together, or at very least not without the door open. Don’t lay on the bed together. Change clothes and bathe in strict privacy. Avoid alcohol, except a moderate amount (under the legal limit for driving) when you can be certain other people will be around. Avoid suggestive talk or joking about matters of chastity. You also ought to make your situation clear to those around you. I don’t mean doing the Oh-my-no-We’re-better-than-those-people!routine (which really just substitutes the more serious sin of spiritual pride for unchastity), but do avoid scandal to those who know you are living together.

You need to keep more distance than if you lived separately, because that much togetherness and the comfortable domesticity of it equals a lot of intimacy.

I hope you really do have a pressing financial need to put yourselves in this situation. Good luck and God bless you.


#4

[quote=John of Woking]Hi I live with my fiance in my dad’s house due to financial restrictions. We are practicing Catholics and are totally in agreement with the Church’s teachings on sex and marriage. This isn’t sinful the living together bit is it:confused: ?
[/quote]

I am shocked!!! Not you John:)

(no, I do not think it is sinful)

Some wedding advice from Homer Simpson;) –

“What is a wedding? Webster’s Dictionary defines a wedding as “The process of removing weeds from one’s garden.” ( giving a lecture on marriage )”


#5

[quote=cove]I am shocked!!! Not you John:)

(no, I do not think it is sinful)

Some wedding advice from Homer Simpson;) –

“What is a wedding? Webster’s Dictionary defines a wedding as “The process of removing weeds from one’s garden.” ( giving a lecture on marriage )”
[/quote]

:smiley:


#6

[quote=BLB_Oregon]You had better make some rules for “self-chaperoning.” Don’t go into each other’s rooms together, or at very least not without the door open. Don’t lay on the bed together. Change clothes and bathe in strict privacy. Avoid alcohol, except a moderate amount (under the legal limit for driving) when you can be certain other people will be around. Avoid suggestive talk or joking about matters of chastity. You also ought to make your situation clear to those around you. I don’t mean doing the Oh-my-no-We’re-better-than-those-people!routine (which really just substitutes the more serious sin of spiritual pride for unchastity), but do avoid scandal to those who know you are living together.

You need to keep more distance than if you lived separately, because that much togetherness and the comfortable domesticity of it equals a lot of intimacy.

I hope you really do have a pressing financial need to put yourselves in this situation. Good luck and God bless you.
[/quote]

:thumbsup: Thanks very much for the advice. God Bless


#7

[quote=The Barrister]Probably not, assuming:

  1. Separate bedrooms; and

  2. You do not, in the least way, give cause to anyone to suspect that you are “living together” in the sense of a mockery of marriage, thereby raising the potential of scandal;

then you have not sinned.

If the two of you lived *without *Dad in the picture, then there is a strong potential of causing scandal and it would be sinful.
[/quote]

I agree. I wouldn’t consider it but for the fact Dad is there.


#8

people have forgotten it in our permissive society, but it used to be the norm for non-related persons of several generations to live together in the same house with no scandal, because it was simply assumed and accepted that adults can be together in the same room without indulging in sexual activity. ah, the lost days of innocence.


closed #9

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