Living with a Jehovah witness


#205

Continued:
So I said nothing happened that he just wasn’t happy. When we got home he put them to do their chores but I thought that it was late and that they should go to sleep. My husband said that while one showered the other could work on their chores so I told him he was right and that it made sense. Few minutes later I went to hug my oldest, he didn’t want to be hugged, then we started to play around and my husband comes up and says “you had all day to play now he has to do his chores” I felt bad because they go to school then stay at an after school program till after 6 they get home then I let them go swimming and then mass and that was the only chance I got to enjoy him a little but I did wrong as he was working on his chores. When my oldest went outside to put the dogs in for the night, my husband went after him and he said that he asked him what was wrong and that my son said that he didn’t want to go to church that I should consider not taking him anymore. I had thought about that on our way home. I figure I can’t force him to go. I’m sad because he used to love going. Now here is a fact that I’ve noticed, he is staring to dislike Catholics as I’ve noticed the JWs very subtly make Catholics look bad. A few examples, on their documentary about the JWs and the natzi they show a pope saluting along side hitler and they said “when JWs were persecuted, some other religious leaders were glad even supported hitler” and then on one of the kids videos of Caleb and Sophia that they recently watched they talk about how people who don’t worship Jehova, wear their pagan Gods around their necks and then there is one time at one of their meetings I went to, they shared a story of how some people were preaching and they remained calm even when some catholic men started to argue and want to hit them. Those are just a few. Then there is what my husband likes to do which is make us the parents of the boys look bad. Examples… when I just about had enough I told him I was sincerely considering a divorce and we got into this huge argument that went on all day long and the next day anyways at one point when I thought all was calm the calls the kids and tells them look at what your mom is doing she wants to leave she wants to separate this family. So I told him we didn’t need to get the kids involved and he said yes we do my dad did it all the time and I said well my parents didn’t they allowed us to be kids why are you trying to treat them like adults please stop telling them our problems they are just kids but he was angry and proceeded with he she talks over me she wants to leave she wants to take you guys away from me like she did to your dad. I had to stay quiet so that it would end for my kids sake. Then there is the time I came and said that I wanted to take them to church and he said that he wouldn’t take them to the hall or preaching. He was eager to tell the kids that because I was being selfish that he couldn’t study with them or take them preaching or to the hall. He has also said so many things to the boys about their dad.
Continued…


#206

Continued:
Their dad and I had it brought when we split, he was mean to me and I had shared these storys with my husband when we were dating well when we moved in together if the kids went with their dad and they got home happy he would tell them all the things that he had done to me things which I never shared with the boys as they were kids and didn’t need to know but he told them and I let it happen. I feel and I hope I’m wrong that the JWs have poisoned my son’s mind against Catholics and my husband has poisoned his mind against his dad and myself. This is in part why I want to separate from my husband. But there are many other factors. Yet I think that the boys would hate me for it, that’s at least what my husband has told me.


#207

Hi jcrichton,
I see what you mean and I didn’t want to see it that way. My husband is trying so hard to be nice but I can see past it because he has a tendency to be mean and then be overly nice which in turn has me upset:angry by the time he is being nice so I oooknlike the bad guy the evil doer. He has a way. He bribes the kids with fun stuff. Kids are obviously going to want to do the fun stuff. I will look into that bible site you mentioned. I thank you for all your support and helpful information. He thinks I have post partum depresion and wants me to get seen by a doctor. I don’t feel that I have post partum I feel like it’s just the way he treats me that has me not trusting, not caring and not wanting him around. He came home the other day and said “what if there was a way that I could get guardianship for the boys without anyone having to relinquish their rights” and it caught me by surprise he continued with “would you let me be the legal guardian to the boys, would you be ok with me being able to spend time with them if you were to die?” I couldn’t say anything, I didn’t know what to say I didn’t want to say yes but was too scared to say no. Then I felt bad for thinking that way and was going to say ok then but he beat me to it and said “I can’t unless someone relinquishes their rights, I just wanted to see what you would say, and now I know you don’t trust me with the boys. Remember when we talked about this a long time ago and you were ok with it” to this I said yeah I remember saying yes to that a long time ago but you were nice back then. He pretended not to hear me and asked me to repeat it but I didn’t. He then said don’t worry I just wanted to see what you would say. I tried not to say anything because I’m so tired of fighting. Anyways afterward it was so awkward and tense at home. Now tell me that this won’t make someone not want to be around a person like that. I’m trying so hard to see the good in him but it’s in vain as he crushes those thoughts so quickly. This is why I’m always quiet, upset, and bitter. Yet he blames it on the baby or me staying at home aka postpartum. We agree to go see a doctor and hopefully this helps. Please keep us in your prayers especially my son.


#208

Tom, you believe that the Church should remain unchanging?

You truly believe that with the changes in the world the Believers should gather together and pull their resources and live in a prayerful life.

Are you not cognizant that in them there times things were different?

Did you not know that Roman occupied states were not considered Roman citizens or that barbarians (every thug with a militia) sought to conquer and destroy?

If the Church remained removed from the world, do you think that you would enjoy having the freedom to speak against her or any other power that be?

And do you think like the Amish and others that by capitalizing on the need of the “English” they are actually truly removed from the world?

The Church took Jesus Commands seriously and she affected justice and peace in the world through engaging the world.

You are the type that blame the Church for meddling in world’s affair while simultaneously holding her responsible for not controlling the acts and minds of the world’s power-players.

…it’s the old ‘don’t believe in hell, but send all my enemies there!’

Maran atha!

Angel


#209

Exactly my point. These “pacifists” would go into “safe” territories to gain converts. They are actually profiting from those whose blood has been shed to make that possible while claiming that God does not want them to be involved with the world’s affairs.

Maran atha!

Angel


#210

Tom, wouldn’t a true Christian/Believer not force his way on such important things… why not visit the “friend” on a different day/time?

What you suggest is the very beginning argument, ‘sure, no problem, you can bring up your kids in the Catholic Faith.’

The cruel reality is that that was the ‘bait’ till he got her over the barrel; now, that he thinks he has the advantage, he wants to wring every residual Catholic essence out of the ‘promise/commitment.’

Maran atha!

Angel


#211

Hi, Gladys!

Sadly, your husband is engaged in warfare. Your children are his favorite tools to demoralize and break you.

I hope Tom realizes how manipulative your husband is being.

My blood boils as I read your journal:

Your husband is consumed in forcing Jehovah Witnesses’ values on you and your children… and no you are no mistaken or confused about what is taking place:

…and your son’s stress is does not come from being forced to go to the Catholic Church but from the bulling that your husband is doing:

This child is suffering because he is fully impotent: he wants to please both parents; but the male parental figure, whose whole concern should be to protect and love his family, is manipulating (and I dare say, damaging) him.

I will keep me in my prayers.

Maran atha!

Angel


#212

Hi, Gladys!

It is not my place to tell you what or how to do things… but many times people who have the tendency to be controlling will avail themselves of every opportunity that they can to control things.

Relinquishing guardianship of your children would mean that he would be the full authority over them. As far as the state is concern, even if he is not the natural father, he would have parental control over them; in the case of a divorce settlement he may file for full custody (and the red flag about you seeking metal health assistance, well, unfit mother gives “fit” father full control).

I am not saying that you should not do so; but proceed quite carefully.

If you have living relatives near by, communicate with them (if they are trustworthy) and keep them abreast on what is happening with your life.

My prayers are with you!

Maran atha!

Angel


#214

Tom, as I have suggested on the other thread, stop with the naming; open a thread with actual quotes that we can study in light of Sacred Scriptures, Church Doctrine and history.

Look at the world today, thousands of “Christian” bodies all claiming to be the true church of Christ… what is the difference between then and now? Then even when people had “enlightenments” they would not open a new “branch” of Christianity. Once that idea took off, myriads upon myriads of “autonomous branches.”

…as for persecution–that’s one that must be studied through both Church and secular history… claiming that the chicken laid the egg is quite simplistic as it is not only chickens that lay eggs.

Maran atha!

Angel


#215

So, stepdad is the JW?

What does birth dad say about this?


#217

Hi, Tom!

The naming is my polite way of saying that you are making claims about what happened hundreds of years ago with simply a blanket statement, ‘the Church’ and “xyz.”

We may be in different parts of the world… where ever I go there are at least two different mom and pops, one major, and at least three medium, groups near almost every active Catholic parish… each claiming to represent God’s true church; then there are the mobile evangelists found on the street, public transport, stores… all with a different religious base and claiming to be the true church of God.

Granted, some of these may have gotten their certificate via US mail; yet, as it was once coined, ‘there it is.’

Maran atha!

Angel


#218

Hi, does anyone know how to get access to the OP link?

Maran atha!

Angel


#219

I dont know what you mean jcrichton.


#222

Hi!

How to access the queue to post questions?

Maran atha!

Angel


#223

Hi, Tom!

Thank you for the information–I am truly removed from all the various tenets of faith; I usually encounter someone from some sect or another at least once a month; some are quite friendly (initially); some get flustered up the second I counter their expectations… non are as accommodating as JW and LDS (these would attempt to make an appointment any day/time of the week–great until their belief is challenged).

…as for the editing, we can use the “pencil” icon, at the bottom of the post to make any corrections (even after a few hours–perhaps even after a day or so, I tried a few days ago but I forgot to verify if the editing took–a little type and a double closing).

Maran atha!

Angel


#224

Do you mean post a new thread? Top right coner between search icon and your personal avatar there is 3 bars. Click the three bars, click new (***), then click + New Topic.

Peace!!!


#225

Excellent! :+1:

Thank you for the info!

Maran atha!

Angel


#227

Hi, Tom!

Did you pick up on the way to post questions?

On the top right, the three lines icon; then chick on the “New” link, also on the top right; follow it to the “+ New Topic” link, also on the top right; post your query.

Maran atha!

Angel


#228

Hi TheLittleLady,
In what in particular are you asking about the boys real dad? I spoke to him a little on Sunday and he with a very sad look and watery eyes told me that the boys were scared of my husband that they don’t feel like kids. I can’t talk to anyone with my husbands knowledge and approval or it will turn into an argument or him telling me that I’m sneaky and am not following the order that God has placed between married couples, so we didn’t talk much and don’t talk much about what is going on here and how he feels about it. But I can tell you that he too was a JW we never had these issues when we were together and even after we split.


#229

In bold, this is clearly a diabolical (spiritual) attack.

This is really concerning. Your children should not be feeling scared of your husband. Please read below:

image

Coercive control – behaviour used to control and frighten a partner. Coercive control takes many different forms. A controlling person will use a variety of tactics to make their partner do what they want. Some examples are:
- telling a partner what to wear, who to see, when to be home
- controlling finances
- limiting or controlling contact with friends and family

Intimidation – behaviour to scare a partner such as
- threats
- stand-over tactics
- driving fast, sharpening knives, smashing holes in the wall, coming close with a fist, standing close and shouting in her face
-threats to kill their partner or themselves.

Violently and constantly jealous – ‘owning’ their partner. This includes:
- not letting a partner talk to other men
- accusing a partner of cheating on them
- deciding who they will talk to and spend time with;

These signs are deadly serious. One or a cluster of these behaviours towards you could mean that you at risk of being killed.

Psychological violence to adults or children includes:

Making you feel like everything you do is wrong
Tormenting you emotionally
Constantly criticising you or your friends
Humiliating you in front of your friends
Using unsafe driving to frighten you
Damaging property/walls/possessions to scare you
Making you isolated and alone
Blaming everything on you
Threatening to take the children away or hurt them
Stalking, following, checking up on you
Harming pets to punish you
Stopping you from, or forcing you to, practice a faith or religion
Making you feel scared of what might happen next.

Everyone has the right to feel safe in their family, their relationship, their neighbourhood, at school and at work.

If some of these statements apply to you please seek proffessional help.


DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.